P.T.S.D. and Veterans

Well this has been an interesting year so far that's for sure and it continues to get interesting. As of right now next week I'm heading out to New York to participate in an animal therapy program that uses horses. It's an all expenses paid trip so I'm super excited to be going and for the change of pace which will be good for me.

Back to the topic at hand and the depth of what I want to share with all of you the truth that is happening in the military community with these veterans who struggle with P.T.S.D. For many military veterans dealing with P.TS.D. it's a challenge dealing with all the struggles that come with it because in reality a veteran can who has severe P.T.S.D. cannot remember what they did. They just react to situations as their fight or flight mode kicks and this is all based on their training which can be scary for them and others around them. Recently I learned of a veteran who had a similar situation where he just reacted and as it was he "blacked out" with only remembering coming home. This is the severe side of it and when you get down to it P.T.S.D. is all based out of fear. The fear of being transported back to their experiences, nightmares where they relive what happened in combat, severe anxiety being around a large number of people because their training tells them do not trust them, and so on. There is so much that people do not understand about P.T.S.D. because they do not educate themselves or they listen to mass media which is straight trash when talking about veterans and P.T.S.D.

As a veteran who struggles with P.T.S.D. I can tell you that where I was three years ago and where I am now is a very different place. Yes, I still have my quirks about what I do and how I handle certain situations. No, I'm not going to share them with all of you lol, they are what I use to handle specific situations when they arise or add a certain level of comfort. They are only a few who know my quirks that because it's not that I'm not willing to share them with others, but is there a need for people to know. It's difficult because you don't want to spill all your secrets on how you get through tough situations and each time I'm out of my element it's an opportunity to learn and grow. It many ways it's like being a christian and I say that because for a christian to grow they must be out of their element, but not all the time. If I'm never out of element as a veteran then I'll never learn or adapt to skills which I need to know on how to handle certain situations.

Here's a good example of what I'm trying to convey. This past summer I became a member at a gun club where I'm able to go shooting whenever I want which is fantastic for me because I like to shoot a lot! So any way during one of my trips to the gun club there were a few people shooting military style rifles very similar to what I carried in my time the Army. That said these rifles produce a very unique smell, sound, and report when fired. It may sound crazy, but even smells can cause a veterans P.T.S.D. to flare up which was happened to me actually. I got all set up and proceeded to send rounds downrange and when they began to fire inside everything was telling me to get the heck out of there. Avoid the situation was what my senses were telling me, but I hung around for as long as I could without putting anyone at risk to a reaction. After a couple volleys from everyone their shooting their rifles I decided it was time to pack up. Now I can tell you that I've learned a new trigger for my P.T.S.D. and I grew in that experience because I challenged myself which caused me to adapt. I'm not telling any veteran to go run around trying to find new triggers because that could be very bad for them and people around them. What I am saying is that once a person is comfortable where they are at and how they are handling their P.T.S.D. to try new things. Maybe one new situation every 3-4 months so they can continue to grow in their understand of their P.S.T.D.

The only thing that really truly made the difference in my life is my relationship with Jesus Christ. I know I know I know some of you military guys will scoff at this saying, "How can Christianity help with what I went through in Combat ?!" The truth of the matter is it makes a huge difference because once you understand that when Jesus was crucified on the cross he endured everything that we would and will endure on this earth. Yes, war is hell and it sucks, but there is good that can come from it. What God is doing in my life is better then what has ever happened that I could of thought up. He's taken and taking all my experiences and using them for my good and using them to glorify His kingdom in heaven. I know it's hard to grasp, but its true take it from a guy who's been there, done that in terms of war. Whose lost, whose been wounded, and who's learning what it takes to operate in this world. Veterans you are not a lone, there are people out there who care about you, who want to help you, who will listen to rant and rave, who will hear your stories.

I'm going to leave you with this: John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. This piece of scripture talks about the trials that we will face in this world that we live in, but we who are believers are to have peace because Jesus has overcome the world therefore we need to put our hope not in man or worldly things, but in Jesus.

Hope you enjoyed reading this! Have a blessed night!

© Nathan Fahlin

Thankfulness!

Yes, I know this may seem a bit cheesy, but I think with "Black Friday" and all that crap that the consumer market put out that I would take some time out and talk plainly about what I'm thankful for. Just for the sake of this I despise "Black Friday" and what it has become. Americans trampling each other for items just because everyone is lashing prices. What a joke! It's sickening to hear about people on the new that are injured because of the "Black Friday" shoppers. End of rant!

Thankfulness is one of those terms that I think we need to remember and understand how much we truly have to be thankful. When you consider everything that is happening around the globe we who live in this land of the free that is protected by the brave have a lot to be thankful for. I for one am truly thankful for the past, present, and future generation of Americans who continually put their lives on the line for this country. Those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice I hold in the highest regard for human life because growing old is a privilege not all have. Some kids may grow up never knowing their father, mother, uncle, and or aunt because they gave their life protecting this country. I know the cost of war and serving one's country and yes I did take it for granted when I was younger. Now I can truly appreciate the sacrifices those who serve this country have paid in the past and present.

Thankful for the life that I've been giving because lets be honest here I should be dead. Not just once or twice, but three times and yet I'm here because God protected me during my time in Iraq. I truly believe this because of what I witnessed and experienced serving in Iraq. Every day is a gift from above because it's God who puts the breath in our lungs and allows us to wake up. Thankful that I get to see my family each day and I am allowed to watch my nephew grow up. Thankful for the new found friends that I have regardless of the age differences between us. Thankful for for the life that I am living and what I get to see in the beauty of creation each and every day.

Thankful for what God is doing in my life and what is still yet to come. It's been very interesting so far and I'm excited to see where the next leg of the journey will take me. Knowing that God is in control is exciting and yet nerve racking at times because lets face it we all wanna know exactly where he's taking and when we'll reach the destination. Thankful the body of believers that God has brought around me to help me grow, learn and love each other when we are going through tough times. Just when we think it can't get any worse, it does and that's where the love comes in. I know people have been there for me and I've been there for others.

So please remember that this day is about being Thankful for what you've been given, not what our consumer society says you need to have. We all really have a lot to be thankful and we need to remember the right perspective honestly. So I hope you all enjoy the turkey, pies of all flavors, and you know those mashed potatoes lol! Yeah buddy! Thankful for a soon to come YMCA membership lol! Be blessed friends!

© Nathan Fahlin

Who I am

I know this is a dangerous topic, but I think it's important that as a Christian knowing who we truly are and not just our physical identity, but our spiritual. Probably going to expose a lot of things in this post, but it needs to come out and so the blogging must go on! "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"
Philippians 3:13-14

I know for me a lot of the time I struggle with who I am and with that being said a week ago Sunday a buddy of mine and I had an in-depth conversation about this topic. He made some very good points in which the message that needed to be made clear to me was needless to say. During this entire conversation I would say God was very much present and evident with what was being said. My buddy who spoke to me told me some hard truths which revealed just a little bit more with what I had been wrestling with. At one point he made the comment that, You are a great guy. You have a wonderful heart. Let me people see Christ in you. The right woman will see that and adore that about you." Yeah yeah I know we were talking about marriage, but for a couple of single guys it seems to be a pretty common topic lol! Then it hit me... I had been looking at myself in the wrong perspective and what I have to offer. A lot of it goes back to my experiences from Iraq and a lot of what had been working with counseling.

The reality had hit and the truth was sinking in more and more the longer I thought about the conversation that we had had over the coming days. Very much a revelation for me with how God wants us to see ourselves and how looking at ourselves in the wrong light changes almost everything about us. It's like taking the smallest negative thing and putting it under the worlds strongest microscope. Putting it out there for the world to see and letting it become our identity for me this was the P.S.T.D. which I've dealt with since coming home from Iraq.

Understanding that I'm capable of a lot of different skills with potential that sometimes I have a hard time seeing, yet others continue to remark that they see it in me. They continue to push me and prove to me that I'm capable beyond what I think I am. It's not because I'm super smart or anything it's because of what I believe God has put in me. An example of this is that I thrive with challenges. I know it's funny, but it's just the way I've been. It's like where I excel lol call me crazy, but for the longest time that's what I remember when it comes to challenges.

Lastly don't forget who created you and who's children we are. For we are children of God, a saint, a holy one, have been redeemed and forgiven of all our sins because of what God has done for us. Because Jesus went to the cross so that we could become his righteousness and that we would know the Father who first loved us. The depth of his none of us can fathom, it covers us like a blanket when we think we are unlovable.

So trust God and trust in what He says who we are. Look to him and not to the world when you begin to wonder just what you are capable of. Chances are the world will not you that you can't do that and God will tell oh watch and see my child. Then you do it!

Well I'm heading out for a night of worshipping a living God! A God who saves! Be blessed!

© Nathan Fahlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO6UYDF2VNg

Perspective: Right and Wrong

So this is something that I've been wrestling with for some time and recently God has really put this on my heart as something that I need to change. At times it's been really frustrating and other times it's been really easy to see the perspective shift. What I would like to talk about today is how we need to keep the right perspective and how to pull ourselves out of the wrong perspective. Nothing is ever easy anymore and sometimes when we're at our weakest that's when we finally understand.

So this week there has been a couple times where I really needed to change my perspective and my attitude. Once was with my family and people asking me to help out in which I did, but I had a sour attitude about it and totally wrong perspective about it as well. So after doing what I had been asked to do I left, but didn't get very far because before I left I had texted a friend who told me exactly what I needed to hear. It wasn't easy going through this process. As the conversation continued it became very clearly that my perspective was totally wrong and that I needed help changing it. It was disgusting how bad my perspective had become and how my attitude was all about what "I" wanted.

The second time around happened when I was working out this week and my arches began to feel like they were tearing while I was running on the treadmill. About the 12 minute mark I had to quit because they hurt so bad. I finished my workout, but by the time I left school I was so frustrated that anything little could of set me off. I just spent a chunk of money on new shoes so I could get myself back into shape. After consulting with a few people who work in the PT clinic on campus the problem was revealed which is plantar fasciitis. Basically a tendon gets inflamed and causes swelling which means lots of stretching. Easy fix for a small problem, but what really helped me when this was all happening was writing down my thoughts because of what was going on. It was amazing how quickly my attitude began to change and how I became grateful for what I have.

So that pretty much highlighted the way to have the wrong perspective and how you can go about changing your attitude to help your perspective. The biggest thing to realize is that we are all different so we need to learn our own ways how to change our perspective. It won't be easy nor will it be fun I promise, but the next time you get asked to help out with something you'll see the attitude shift coming. Therefore allowing yourself to keep a healthy perspective with what you're being asked to do. Yes, I know it may not be something you like or want to do, but God's got a purpose with everything. Be grateful for what you have..... you all know there are places that are far worse then we are as a country. Be grateful! Be thankful! Be of good cheer!

Hope you got something out of this and I hope to hear from all the readers out there! Enjoy the day and be blessed! Take care!

© Nathan Fahlin

Questions and Attitudes

Sometimes I think we as Christians forget the importance of our attitudes and even asking the right questions when we're praying. I think it's so easy to forget that we need to ask with a pure heart and look deep into our own heart, searching our motives. Lately this is something that's been coming into my life more and more which God continues to use to teach me. Growing like this is not always fun, at times it can be a very painful experience.

Attitude is something that we all struggle with and I know that I do as I continue to type the noun "I" meaning me. That is another way that our attitude gets in the way, because we talk about "I want this" or "I would like to do this." So often the thought comes to me after the fact, "Did I think about what God would have to say this?" or "I wonder what God would have me do?" Truth is not as much as I should and there's that infamous noun again. I.

Looking into our hearts can be a very painful and dark moment because then we really see what's inside of our hearts. Realizing how much that needs to changed and we need to be filled with what God wants to fill us with. If we take an honest look in our hearts and ask God to reveal to us what He wants to remove then we are doing the right thing, but if we do not then we are wasting our time on this earth. Our time here is short when you truly begin to think about. Yes, I know that people have lived to be a hundred years old or more, but the reality our lives are but chaff blown away in the wind. At any moment our lives on this earth can end.
So when you begin to ask God for things or about certain things that you would like to see happen look at your attitude in your heart first. Trust that God knows what's best for He is our Father, the one who created us!

Questions are great and they help us discover more about God's nature, finding out what He wants for us, and His plan for us. Though He may only reveal bits and pieces here and there, it's critical! There are times when we ask question after question with God sitting in heaven just waiting for us to ask the right question. Please don't get the idea that God is some magical genie in a bottle that you can rub and have all your wishes come true. I think this comes with spiritual maturity along with knowing the word as well. For me as I continue to grow, seeking God in all aspects of my life questions have become key. It's really interesting watching God teach us through sometimes the smallest thing or it can be through the big things as well.
It can be very frustrating at times when all you get is silence.... then it's the awkward moment when you feel like you're talking to yourself lol! I know I've been there lol! Got the patch.... no not really, but it sounded good!

Don't be afraid to ask God questions about anything because I think you might surprise yourself when God starts answering your questions or in my case I get the picture of God sitting silently waiting for me to ask the right question with this big grin on his face waiting. So get out of your comfort zone and start asking God questions. You might be surprised I think lol!

© Nathan Fahlin

Forged Through Fire

This topic has been raging through my brain today since talking with a friend about this coming weekend and what this day means to me. It's very different and knowing what is going to happen and how people will react to you on Sunday because it's Veteran's Day hasn't been always easy. The appreciation hasn't been and is still very hard for me to accept some days. Yes, folks that's right I'm talking about Veteran's Day and why people appreciate Veterans themselves.

I had been talking to a friend for a good portion of time about this topic and asked what she thought about Veterans and how she views the people she knows who've served. Let's just take a moment and this about all the terminology that is associated with Veteran's Day and how people show they're gratitude. For a lot of people they say, "Thank you, Thanks for your service, Thanks, and other greeting." Today I realized that for doing what I did, during the duress of which the country was in at the time that my family and friends may call me a "Hero." Truth of the matter this is a word I have a very hard time with because I don't see how this word is associated with me. Understanding this means that looking deeply into why a person serves whether it's a moral conviction or just because they wanted too. Serving willingly and in the times that many of us Veterans served in which out country wasn't in the best shape. Still entering into the military knowing that we would be deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

I'm just amazed at how my friends look at me and how they are able to say something like and what reinforces this title even is how I act humble about what I did. I continually try to down play the fact of what I did while I was serving. It's just a duty that you have to do and yes there are hard times, but that's the life you choose. Do I consider myself a hero ? No, I don't. Do my friends and family absolutely. The point is here being a soldier, sailor, marine, and airmen and doing what your country asks you to do isn't always easy. Lots of time you go through fire so that you can be forged into something greater. You see fire refines, purifies, and removes any of the unnecessary items that shouldn't be there. You see those of us who've been to Iraq and other places which our country sends us to to defend freedom is like walking through fire.
So we are forged through fire and become what everyone seems to think is heroes.

This is a very different blog than most that I've done in a while, but it's a good change of pace. As always I hope you enjoyed reading and learned something new about your nations veterans who've fought for this country. Take care and God bless!

© Nathan Fahlin