I often wonder at times why everything happened that I went through and experienced during my time in Iraq and than I remember everything good that's come from my rough past. The people, the friends, the relationships and everything under the sun. It's funny even now the memories are still just like yesterday and yes there has been a lot of healing that has taken place since those events, but with the recent addition of the tattoo, it's brought different things to light. It's just another piece of the puzzle and another step to take. Letting the old die and the new come.
This December is different than all the others and it's not that I'm alone or away at school, it's that I've never been at this point in my life where I'm confident in who I am, what I'm supposed to be doing, and where I'm being lead. In all honesty this is very exciting for me truthfully and yet there is still much to process with everything. Not that there is more questions to be answered, but because it's time to let the past be the past. Please understand that it does not define me as to who I am today yet it serves as a reminder of the places I've traveled.
It's difficult to explain, to share what happens inside a person after going through traumatic experiences and how the effects a person. I know well enough the person I am and who God is calling me to be and where he is leading me, but it's another task to stop asking why and be satisfied with not knowing as to continuing to press on in Christ Jesus. Today as I was talking with a friend and he posed a question which was, "Why do we keep asking why?" It took me a little off guard I must admit and then his response totally fit the question which was asked. After listening to my heart and to my spirit, here I am typing away.
Why do we continue to ask why? Is there some hidden meaning or purpose behind why we continue to ask for those of us who've been through traumatic experiences or experiences in our lives that people shouldn't have to go through, but do anyways. Honestly what I have found in my life is that the less I ask, "Why, " the more contentment is found because I stop questioning why everything happened and use what I've been given. I didn't ask for these experiences, but there are what they are and you can't change the past, but what you can do is trust that God will use those experiences to shape your life in a way that is indescribable. Romans 8:28 talks about this almost perfectly as Paul explains to the reader that regardless of what we as believers have been through can be used for our good by God because we love him. I'm not using exact translation, but a rough verbage to show what God does for those who love him. It's time to let the past be the past and stop living as if it was yesterday and putting one foot forward, trusting that God will guide us on a path of righteousness for his name sake.
Wow....that was an interesting post! I really hope you get something out of what is being written and I pray that God can use these words to affect your life as he's affected mine! This is my heart, my passion, and my love to help others who are walking through tough times as I've had. To give hope and a future to those who are weary as this is what Christ has given me. So I offer that to you if you don't believe in Christ. To put your faith in a man who died 2000 years ago for your sins and on that cross he died and after being in the grave for three days he rose again. This is the power of the cross, as Christ redeems our lives and transforms us into something completely new! Because, "We are a new creation in Christ; the old is gone and the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Take care and God bless!!!
