Sunday, July 20, 2014
A Message to Men
The scripture from Psalm 73 really hit home for me and especially in this time in my life. I'm back in college around people who know very little of life. People look at me and see me differently, in reality though I have to look to God as he's my only option. He's the one who points me in the direction, walks with me through the deepest valleys I've gone through, who's been with me on the highest mountain peaks, and who at the end of the day loves me for me, not for anything else. He draws me to himself daily, like he did this morning. I'm 30 years old and back in college going for a pastoral degree, but no real intentions of being a pastor. Being a veteran of Iraq and almost dying brought me back to my relationship with God and yeah I question if I have the ability to make it through these challenges and hardships as a single man. I live in Minneapolis, MN a place where it's unfamiliar and my friends aren't nearly as close and the friendships not nearly as deep. It's hard to know if some days if I'll make it through this wilderness of the city. To you younger men continue to press into God when these moments of absolute despair or the valleys are deeper then you've gone before and you're not sure if you can make it through them. Having older men around you is key, one of my best friends is in his 50s and when I'm back in Duluth we spend more time just talking about life and how God has been working in us. Yes, pain is not your biggest battle. I learned this lesson in my mid to late 20s. I was a young 23 year old guy who was deployed to Iraq when I almost died the first time, a roadside bomb went off on my vehicle that I was driving. After I came home from 16 months in Iraq and the pain was gone, I fought with the unknown, unsure of what to do with my life now. I knew I wanted to have a family, to enjoy the finer things in life. My wounds are healing, it's like pulling off a scab everyday and trusting that God has this day in his hands and not giving in to the PTSD that almost took control of my life. Even now as I approach my 31st birthday in November and another year of college I look forward to the challenge because with God all things are possible. Yes, it's difficult at times, but take heart for He has overcome the world. You guys that read this take pride in knowing that you are the son of God and that he's with you till the end of your days. You are a child of God, a saint, a holy one, have been redeemed and forgiven of all your sins. Keep pressing in and finding the adventure which God is calling you too!! Take care and God Bless!!
Saturday, July 19, 2014
"Coming Home"
Even after 7 years of being back from Iraq I think most our troops myself included are still "Coming Home" and what I mean by this is that we are still transitioning back to this civilian life. Everyday I read the thoughts/comments from other veterans from Facebook groups which I'm a part of. It still gets me when I read these posts by them and how they are still fighting to transition from being back from wherever they were just recently deployed. Coming home isn't what most people think or know or can understand what veterans are going through; there is a clash with two very opposite cultures. On one hand you have the military culture where political correctness is a joke that we all make fun because if you can't handle being razed the military isn't the you and it's that plain and simple. We have a tendency to speak our mind regardless of what others want, honesty can be seen as a weakness because honestly we don't care what people think and probably never will. Then on the other hand you have the civilian culture of people who value political correctness and honesty in ways that clash very hard with the military mindset. I've seen this time and time again where vets clash with their civilian counterparts.
When it comes to work and doing the right thing veterans have an exceptionally tough time because if they have people under them who aren't doing their job all they can do is verbally reprimand them which will all know doesn't do crap! Here's the struggle because if we didn't do our jobs in the military people could possibly die, therefore our superiors would utilize methods of correcting our poor performance or crappy behavior as to rid of us of bad habits which could cost lives of those around us. We drill constantly on what happens we if receive SAF (small arms fire), IEDs, and various other situations. This is pounded into our brains till we act almost naturally because it's become muscle memory meaning we are able to just act. So excuse us if we don't deal with situations like most people, all we expect is for others to do their job, but even that is to much to ask sometimes. Which is freaking stupid, I mean I can understand it more if you're working an entry level job, but seriously quit whining and do your job. You aren't getting shot at, no one is trying to take your life just because of the flag you bear on your shoulder.
So after many years of adjusting from coming back from Iraq this is where I am today, adjusting is sometimes easy, but other times it can be rough. Honestly there has been good experiences and bad ones since being home. My first job was working for Papa Murphys in Duluth, the job was a joke and my coworkers were mostly passive aggressive which doesn't sit well with me. I can remember one night where the line was out the door and I was wrapping pizza at the end of the line. Had some conflict with a coworker and this is what pissed me off is the next week they put a letter in my work box. I mean seriously why can't you just come up and tell me what's going on....freaking stupid! Just come and talk to me about what happened, but don't just go behind my back acting like a freaking kid. I was terminated because I had enough of the crap and never responded to said letter. What a joke. Before you try and use our military service as a way of getting us to do what you want done, learn that that doesn't sit well with other veterans. Our military service may have nothing to do with our job is currently so back off. You do not have the right or the knowledge to use that. End of rant.
Now as I sit in my apartment down in Minneapolis on this Saturday morning I'm able to finally start to internalize what it means to come home.Coming Home is a phrase we would like to associate with a time of happiness, joy, and seeing our loved ones again, but that's not always the case. In truth it's marked with challenges, hyper awareness of what is going on, possibly flashbacks, and other memories from our time deployed. For me the good times only lasted about three months before the money I had occured from the deployment had begin to run dry and that no one I was around understood what I had just went through. Now seven years later there are days where to put it bluntly I have a rough which usually can be described as a dysfunctional veteran where I really don't care what I say, how I say it, or anything. It sure makes for an interesting day that's sure, but in time I've learned how to combat these days. These days are few and far between now and most people aren't around when they happen. Coming Home is never pretty, but it's apart of our lives just as much as we don't want it to be, but that's life.
So listen before you speak, listening to someone who's been there and hearing their heart in the story is better then just about anything else you can do. Thanks for reading and God bless!!
These songs and what they embody are the pleas of the soldiers, airmen, marines, and sailors who have served, died, bled, and were wounded. We just wanna Come Home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOn5BQ-H_H4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Niv2cSjneK8
When it comes to work and doing the right thing veterans have an exceptionally tough time because if they have people under them who aren't doing their job all they can do is verbally reprimand them which will all know doesn't do crap! Here's the struggle because if we didn't do our jobs in the military people could possibly die, therefore our superiors would utilize methods of correcting our poor performance or crappy behavior as to rid of us of bad habits which could cost lives of those around us. We drill constantly on what happens we if receive SAF (small arms fire), IEDs, and various other situations. This is pounded into our brains till we act almost naturally because it's become muscle memory meaning we are able to just act. So excuse us if we don't deal with situations like most people, all we expect is for others to do their job, but even that is to much to ask sometimes. Which is freaking stupid, I mean I can understand it more if you're working an entry level job, but seriously quit whining and do your job. You aren't getting shot at, no one is trying to take your life just because of the flag you bear on your shoulder.
So after many years of adjusting from coming back from Iraq this is where I am today, adjusting is sometimes easy, but other times it can be rough. Honestly there has been good experiences and bad ones since being home. My first job was working for Papa Murphys in Duluth, the job was a joke and my coworkers were mostly passive aggressive which doesn't sit well with me. I can remember one night where the line was out the door and I was wrapping pizza at the end of the line. Had some conflict with a coworker and this is what pissed me off is the next week they put a letter in my work box. I mean seriously why can't you just come up and tell me what's going on....freaking stupid! Just come and talk to me about what happened, but don't just go behind my back acting like a freaking kid. I was terminated because I had enough of the crap and never responded to said letter. What a joke. Before you try and use our military service as a way of getting us to do what you want done, learn that that doesn't sit well with other veterans. Our military service may have nothing to do with our job is currently so back off. You do not have the right or the knowledge to use that. End of rant.
Now as I sit in my apartment down in Minneapolis on this Saturday morning I'm able to finally start to internalize what it means to come home.Coming Home is a phrase we would like to associate with a time of happiness, joy, and seeing our loved ones again, but that's not always the case. In truth it's marked with challenges, hyper awareness of what is going on, possibly flashbacks, and other memories from our time deployed. For me the good times only lasted about three months before the money I had occured from the deployment had begin to run dry and that no one I was around understood what I had just went through. Now seven years later there are days where to put it bluntly I have a rough which usually can be described as a dysfunctional veteran where I really don't care what I say, how I say it, or anything. It sure makes for an interesting day that's sure, but in time I've learned how to combat these days. These days are few and far between now and most people aren't around when they happen. Coming Home is never pretty, but it's apart of our lives just as much as we don't want it to be, but that's life.
So listen before you speak, listening to someone who's been there and hearing their heart in the story is better then just about anything else you can do. Thanks for reading and God bless!!
These songs and what they embody are the pleas of the soldiers, airmen, marines, and sailors who have served, died, bled, and were wounded. We just wanna Come Home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOn5BQ-H_H4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Niv2cSjneK8
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