With recent events in my life and the change of direction since 2013 has been pretty incredible, but what is happening now can only be described as challenging because for the first time in my life there is something driving me forward with a passion few areas can rival. Back in 2010 or 2011, I read a book by John Eldredge which changed my perceptions or rather my reality of myself, men, and life that book was Wild At Heart. This book opened up another realm of questions, questions that only between God and I could answer, the answers were shocking when they came out and strangely the pain that was tied to them the words brought healing and peace to areas of my life. A life that had been filled with chaos, pain, anger, resentment, and bitterness; if you have ever seen the movie "Inside Out" there was no joy or sadness in my life just anger to the point of rage at times. However years before in Iraq I found my laugh the best way to describe it during a comedy that was on AFN (Armed Forces Network) and my buddies turned towards me like, "What the hell just happened?" That laugh was a gift which helped save my life in other ways, but back to the book and the title.
The book continued to play a part in my life as it has been reread, reanalyzed, and reconsidered with emphasis on different aspects of my life or different chapters in the book which focus on aspects of a man's life. In 2014, John Eldredge's son launched And Son's which displayed a vlog series titled "Killing Lions" talking about different aspects that a young man faces, trials, and topics which men are fighting with as they are going through life. The vlog which triggered me was https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkw0sKw3xJTfV6T57cfCZgg, talking about pain and how pain is not our biggest battle. This video opened up another can of worms so to speak because it was my first summer in Minneapolis, everything was not going the way it should and life was hard with decisions on eating versus putting gas into my vehicle. It was then I came across this video and it changed my perspective of my time in Minneapolis, at North Central working towards my undergrad in Pastoral Studies.
Then coming to this year, the loss of a couple friends in January and finishing my third to my last semester at North Central I found myself making new friends and going deeper with current friends, then in May I stumbled across a short trailer for a documentary done by John Eldredge with his sons and two life long friends. Checking the dates and realizing the movie was releasing that week which is one week from today I knew there was no question in whether seeing this movie or not, it was a must see. That Thursday, I relaxed all day up to thirty minutes prior to the showtime @ 7:30pm, upon arriving I found out that showing was sold out by 3pm as a group of sixty or so men came in and bought out the tickets. Luckily for me there was a 10pm showing which meant a long night for me, but it was well worth it!
During the movie, I took notes which helped me process what they were talking about and the depths of their conversations of the movie. The premise of this was a life or a story worth living at the title states, kinda gives away the topic not completely though.
Right away it was clear to me that life is not about living comfortably, but pushing the edges of adventure not recklessly, but with a purpose and a goal in mind. There are plenty of quotes and one liners in the movie to encourage someone or to ponder for days or weeks on end. My first impressions were of excitement and anticipations which continued throughout the movie, the reality set in when they began discussing the depths of failures in life or the harsh reality of growing up. At one point John Eldredge came back from a bad day of fly fishing and his wife Staci was just watching him pace wondering what was up and finally John exclaimed he's not out there. What John is referring to is time spent with his dad and fly fishing was their time together, but his dad suffered a stroke and fought cancer which left him unable to fish anymore. It is a hard reality for him, longing to spend time with his father who's not there anymore. We are all longing for a closeness with our fathers as guys doing what guys do, in that we can find a deeper relationship with God one that takes us to places where we enjoy a true relationship.
As I continue to write this piece, it dawned on me that there are endless pieces of information or quotes to copy down, but that's not really what I want to share with you. What's on my mind and heart is something far more simpler. This quote encompasses my piece more so because of the reality of life, "Find a story that tells you about your story. A story that explains your story." I say this because we are all looking for something more to life and for me as a Christian this looks like doing what God has called me to do, working with people because they need help whether they want to admit it or not. I think the biggest piece we can understand is the hope of something more than just the life we live now. Being apart of something bigger than ourselves where in the story we are not the main characters and the characters involved have no ending, their depth is endless and the story doesn't end. The whole premise is finding a story where with God we go to places where maybe we would never dream or do something beyond our wildest imagination because with God anything is possible. I am not glorifying adventure or being an adrenaline junkie, but thinking on the grander scale of life of what God is doing in the midst of our lives as Christians.
It is something we in the west face with a startling reality with modern technology and applications which focus on us and our lives. I wonder where this will all end up in the coming years? Will I have gone out with my boots on or will it be a nice peaceful ending in some hospital bed? My life has always been in God's hands since a earlier stage in walk when reading a book titled Radical by David Platt. It was an honest conversation in the book when he was working New Orleans and how he came to a point where he knew he had to be willing to die for his God if this was something he really believed in. In the same sense I was willing to die for my country so how could I not be willing to die for my God? How could I live a life where it was about my needs and comforts? I would rather enjoy the life God has given me doing what he has called me to.
The idea of the movie is being apart of something greater, how we can overcome our fears as to not let them paralyze us to the point where we are unable to move forward. To bring people who we love along with us on our adventure, to create something where we are merely another character not the main. I hope there is something you can identify with, if you have questions do not be afraid to ask them. I love my God and my faith is something special where the rubber meets the road, to live this life to the fullest. I am a child of God, a saint, a holy one, have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. I am covered by the blood of Jesus Christ and my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life.
Take care and God Bless!!!
