A Time of Reflection

Not really sure what I'm going to call this blog post, but this is going to be a time of reflection. To talk about what has transpired, what God has done in my life, and how my life has changed. It's shocking to think how much has changed in my life. In this I will talk about the trails, struggles, and probably some of the uglier parts of returning home from war, but I'm going to share what GOD has done.

I'm not sure how many of you know what actually transpired when I first got back from Iraq and my life was like along with how I was "treating" my problems. A phrase you commonly hear when veteran's come back from war is self medicating or self medicate. This terminology usually refers to drinking and lots of it, multiple nights a week and it can go on for any length of time when they come back. Six months, a year or maybe even more. For me the first three months I was so busy I didn't know what to do honestly as I was constantly traveling all over the state. Hanging with friends one week then the next week being in a completely different part of the state. By the end of the first three months reality set in and I was still expected to go to college and find out what I'm supposed to do with my life. Well that was a short trip that came to a sudden stop which was probably a good, but that's when this story takes a turn down a very dark alley which there was a light at the end of it just that I couldn't see it yet. About December of 2007 my outlook and overall attitude was very bleak, didn't go out much, played a lot of video games. When I would go out I honestly felt like everyone was staring at me like, " Is this guy gonna snap and kill someone ?" and I couldn't take it so when I did go out it was to places where there was a little solitude. Then in January I buddy from Iraq moved up to Duluth and thus began the self medicating period of my return. This continued for about 6 months and towards the end of this time I just started to think about getting back to going to church. I still remember that Sunday at the Vineyard in the current Anchor Point building. I remember just standing thinking to myself and that's was the first step in God's plan for things to change for me. So here I am and one of the pastors at the time walked up to me and we started talking next thing I know I'm agreeing to meet up with him during the week. That month of May I'll never forget because that's when I talked to my leadership about what had been going on. Mind you at this time I was going two to three nights a week and making some very poor choices along with dealing with what I would call severe depression. The depression lasted for a few years and for the rest of my time in the Army National Guard I saw a counselor who just happened to be a Lutheran Pastor also. This man truly help guide me with going back to school and handling the new friendships that were bound to come.

Slowly, but surely things just started to fall into their specific places and I thought I finally had a handle on life again after going through everything in those first 9months after coming back from Iraq. What I didn't realize was there were issues that didn't needed to be dealt with and it wouldn't be till the fall of 2011 that I would truly come to understand that I wasn't finished walking down the road to recovery. In Oct of 2011 I basically broke down at my Men's Group which I currently attend and God showed me where exactly I needed healing. It was the start to a process that is still continuing and God has been truly faithful in restoring and healing me from the inside out. The more I think about what He's done for the more I realize just how blessed I am. I'm just in awe in how much God has done for me and yet at the same time I know there is still more to go. God is Always Faithful, His love stays the same through the ages, God's love never fails. It's been an honor to be able share with all of you who read my blog with what God has been doing in my life and I hope and pray that this not only encourages you, but gives you hope for your own life also knowing that God will always be there through it all.

I thank you all for taking the time out to read my blog for those of you that do. I thank God that I get to share this story of healing, restoration, and wholeness with each and everyone of you. I thank God for the community of believers, friends, and just amazing people He's so perfectly placed in my life and you know who are too! There is always hope even when there is pain in the night because joy comes in the morning. I am grateful that I get to share this with all of you! Take care and God Bless!:)

© Nathan Fahlin