Grace

To often than not we get in the way and screw things up and then we feel like crap or just flat out ridden with guilt because of our actions. Over the past year God has been teaching me the meaning of Grace and what it means to live a Grace filled life. Grace is tricky in the Christian relationship with God because it can usually go two ways license and legalism. I'll explain what I mean later on, but for now I wanna talk about Grace and what it means.

Grace:

1

a : unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification

b : a virtue coming from God

c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

2

a : approval, favor <stayed in his good graces>

b archaic : mercy, pardon

c : a special favor : privilege <each in his place, by right, notgrace, shall rule his heritage — Rudyard Kipling>

d : disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency

e : a temporary exemption : reprieve

So here is a few definitions of Grace. As you see it's completely opposite of guilt, shame, or condemnation, but I can tell you from experience that all the three that are listed above get in the way of us understanding Grace. True Grace that comes from our relationship with Jesus and taking hold of the Grace Filled life is something that we need to understand. More often than not Grace is a concept that a person can't learn in a group, but has to come to understand through their relationship, experiences, and just life. For me when I'm not experiencing grace I usually feel like their is a weight around my heart then I know to start praying and that's when I usually realize what's there whether its guilt, shame, or condemnation. Every person has to come to their own understanding of how to recognize and deal with not experiencing grace. There is not a one method fits all and there rarely is in the Christian walk.

License and Legalism are the two most common things to get stuck with when trying to grasp what it means to live a Grace Filled life. I say this because if you look at the word grace which by definition means temporary exemption. Then by that you can take that and say, "Oh I'm exempted so I can do whatever I want." Well that's wrong you can't, but technically you can that goes more into free will and I'm not to hear to talk about that. There are still the 10 Commandments that need to be followed and there are the teachings to, but this is a thin line to be walked. It's like trying to shoot playing that's turn turn vertically sideways. The card is vertical then turned so all you can see is the width which is an extremely small target. Now try and shoot the card, oh it can be done just like walking the line of the Grace Filled life. Yes it can be done. Legalism is the total opposite and this is where you can only do x, y, and sometimes z. You have a strict set of rules that you follow and that's that! You break one well you better start praying!

By now you are beginning to see the picture and what has to happen for us as Christians to walk in the Grace Filled life. Once we truly begin to understand Grace, we can give that to others. Others who at times may not deserve it or we question should we really extend Grace to them. Well the answer is Yes and always will be because it's amazing what happens when we begin to extend Grace to non-believers and to believers who are hurting and in need of it! Do not take Grace for granted! I hope and pray that all of you will come into a full understanding of what it means to live a Grace Filled Life!! Take care and God Bless you on this New Years (Eve)!!

© Nathan Fahlin

Six Years Today

Well today has been an absolutely wonderful day from no classes to sleeping and working out at the YMCA. There are many reasons why I'm writing this blog today, but the main reason I guess as I pound away on the keyboard is the fact which is that it's been six years today. Six years!! Wow it only seems like yesterday honestly! All I have to do is close my eyes and think about the event and I'm remember there.

The truth of the matter is that I no longer dread December and this is the first one where I'm not locking myself away in my room... well technically I am, but that's because I want too! It's funny because as I'm one year away from 30 and still relatively young my age shows when I talk about my experiences... I say this because as I'm talking to a friend about Iraq and the experiences I've had already. She simply says, "Wow you are older then your age." What she said is fine and most of the time I do my to not let it come, not that I'm ashamed of it, but there is a time and place for when it should come out!

People always seem to be amazed when I recall experiences from Iraq along with the wild and crazy stunts we did in the military. Stuff that people would think you're nuts! Maybe I am nuts, but you know what ? I like who I am! With that said the more I begin to enjoy the things I used to enjoy like basketball, shooting, hiking, and other activities the more I feel like myself honestly! The road to healing is a long hard road filled with potholes, speed bumps, broken bridges, head on collisions, and sometimes smooth sailing! Truth of the matter is that regardless of what happens now and the years I've been given are in a sense very much like bonus years honestly. I know it's hard to understand, but when you almost die multiple times it really puts things in perspective for ya let me tell ya!

People always seem to be amazed at how I am given what God has done in my life! Nine times out of ten there is always a smile on my face and I'm in a pretty good mood! I don't know what I should do know honestly, but that's okay. Sometimes it's hard, but then I remember how the little things are little and big things are big. There's no point crying over spilled milk which is the same as don't a make a mountain out of a mole hill. You see there are little things in this world and then there are big things. Little things like tests, quizzes and the like are to me considered little, but something like car accidents, financial problems, and all that stuff are big things. I've had my fair share of trials and I know there is more coming, but I've got a lot of experience on how to handle them.

Well I'm gonna get off this electronic piece of equipment called a laptop and hopefully read a book!
As always hope you enjoy reading this as much as I liked typing it up! Be blessed!!

© Nathan Fahlin

Looking Inside

Well what most of you probably may not know is that right now in I'm in New York for an animal therapy program that works with old racehorses. So far it's been amazing and I've just met the staff and the other veterans who I will be working with. There is something different about the place and I cannot put my thumb on it honestly.

Over the past week there has been a lot of time to look at myself and take a introspective look into my own life. They have been difficult times because honestly you may not see them right away. Or you try not to notice them honestly because you know there is something there. The times come when I'm honest with myself, when I take an honest look into my life, when I allow myself to vulnerable with not only me, but my friends as well. I'm going to share with all of you the two most recent introspective looks into my life.

The first came I want to say Wednesday while I was texting a friend. I was just throwing some dart in the veteran center on campus which is a normal activity for me. During the conversation at some point by either being honest or vulnerable I was able to see something that had bothered me during my time in the Army. The truth is I hadn't even thought about it till that day.

            It was never what was asked of me as a job that was hard about being in. it's that I felt completely isolated after Iraq. People just didn't communicate to the same after the IED and everything from Iraq. That was the hardest part, feeling isolated in your own unit. December was always fun cause dress uniforms and awards being on the uniform. Guys joking about the Purple Heart and trying to make light of the award, but it was something I revered. Cause I had bled for what I believed in, fought for, and what I love. In a lot of ways similar to what Christ did for us.

I'm not being critical of my unit, just being honest here. I hold no one responsible for this, it's just what happened. I place no blame on anyone so get that out of your heads right now. It took me a while before I honestly saw this in my life and how I interacted with everyone after the Iraq.

It's funny here I am in New York and talking about reactions or just what I've been going through since I've been home. The reality that I've come down to is this that there are times where I struggle with outbursts of anger. I do not really know where it comes from, but it typically happens every 4-5 months or so. It's not something that admitting is easy nor do you want to do it. It's rather frustrating because you can see all the progress you've made, but when you realize that there is still work to be done it can almost take the wind out of your sails. The reality is that as my relationship with God grows that I must continue to rely on him than my own ability.

Wow.... that's awake up call if I've ever had one I guess lol! Regardless though of what still needs to be worked that doesn't change where I am at and what God continues to do in my life. How he continues to do what needs to be done in my life. My God is a live and very much real!  Hope you enjoy reading this because it's been difficult to type! Take care and God Bless!

© Nathan Fahlin