Questions and Answers

As a veteran there are many questions which we get asked when we return from war and frankly some of these questions are flat out inappropriate to ask. We've all dealt with them at one point in our return, I know I have and honestly there are times where I'd like nothing better then play the angry veteran part. There's are always someone who's going to ask you whether it's out of curiosity or trying live through your experiences, "Did you kill anyone?" This is enough to send me through the roof and I'll tell you why here in a second. 

As a veteran who has buddies who have made the hard decisions and have taken life of enemy combatants in war I find it highly distrusting when people ask this question. For a couple reasons because its not someone you can understand nor comprehend because unless you were there you will never understand. Secondly what right do you have to ask me or any other veteran if we've killed anyone. By asking this question you've most likely pissed off the veteran whom you are talking to. The response will be nuclear or it maybe hidden or they may just walk away. For me when people ask this question my response has been more nuclear in actions honestly. Unless you deployed in a combat arms unit you have no idea the training, the hours of preparation, the countless hours spent drilling on battle drills, and how render first aid. The more you train on these the easier it gets to function in war. Because your response is trained into you. I can say this honestly my job description simply stated what it meant to be an infantryman. "To close with and destroy the enemy." That sums it up to what my role was when I deployed to Iraq. To simply put it I was trained to kill and protect the others around me, to take the life of the enemy before he could take the lives of my brothers in arms. The military does a great job at teaching us how to kill and trust me we are very proficient at it, but they don't teach you how to handle it after the decisions been made and the triggers been pulled. 

This is the cold hard truth about war and taking the life of someone else, yet there is not enough that goes into taking that persons life. You see killing is easy, but the psychology of it is extremely complicated. The men and women now have reason or find peace with this, but I tell you the truth many have not found peace.  Many people don't like to think about this, but it's the cold reality of war. People die on both sides and you can't control who gets hit or who doesn't, who dyes and who doesn't. It's war and war is hell. My personal experience with war is that my personal experience and their are people who know those experience.

Some may wonder why I'm writing or what spurred this topic for me to write about. Truth of the matter is this was a God topic that I had prayed on, about, and around because I've had varied responses through the years. One has been the angry veteran response and I tell you where you can go and how to get there, the other is I walk away then ignore you completely, or if you're someone whom I trust and respect then I will share with you those experiences. You see I've read books, listened to others speak, and share their experiences on how they've dealt with taking the life of another human being. I've done everything in preparation incase there comes a time where it is necessary to protect and defend friends, family members, and countrymen. You see I took an oath not just to my country, but to my God that I would protect and defend those you cannot defend themselves. If you decide to ask me if you decide to ask me if I've killed anyone well I would strongly discourage that right now. My life is now changed and yes the past is the past. I hold no ill will to those who have taken life and they deal with something many people cannot understand nor comprehend. 

This has been one of the more challenging topics for me because its close to me and to those who have fought to protect this country and the people in it. Yet we shun those who have killed and we struggle to understand what they are going through. This is the story of those who have fought, bleed, and died for this country. Take care and God bless!!!

© Nathan Fahlin