Well I think it's time for a blog post as it's been a while and this semester has quite interesting for me honestly. In all truthfulness it's been a challenge in many ways that I did and did not expect or anticipate. It's taught a lot about myself and what are the challenges that I still face which is good because it shows me that there is much learning left to do. In many ways next semester will be interesting to see how it pans out and how I handle the situations which will arise.
Probably the biggest challenge for me has been the fact that I've not been steady at a single church and it's taken time to find one that still fits what I'm looking for. August into part of September I attended Hope Community and while that was good, it left me looking for something more or maybe that was me. For the rest of September through the entire month of October I would visit other churches in the area, hoping to find what I was looking for. To find a place where I can be me and connect with people. Ugh so much time and effort has gone into this that it's almost like a chore trying to find where you are supposed to be. So this coming Sunday I'm going back to Hope Community to give it another shot as it may very well be the best option and it's very close to campus which is a big bonus.
The second challenge for me is the "christian community" called North Central and the closeness of the campus. This would lead me to feeling claustrophobic at times and prolonged times away from the school and downtown area which was good, but at the same made it tougher for me. I saw this because it really challenged me when I would come back because of the constant noise and the people. I had to teach myself to become okay with being surrounded by noise and people constantly, but I've also needed to take time for me. This meant taking drives away from campus and being around people who I don't see weekly which turns out to be something I like. It allows me to be me and it's healthy to get away from the campus environment.
Oddly enough this challenge for me would have to do with my experiences and where I've been because of the choices which I made when I was younger and truthfully it's another learning process because of the surroundings. PTSD sucks plain and simple. With that said the new circumstances have been interesting to deal with and yeah the flares have been challenge because of the new triggers or triggers which I didn't know about. There is always a certain amount of learning that happens when you are dealing with something like this because you're constantly changing how you handle the triggers, situations, and reactions. So yeah it's like relearning things all over again because of the new environment which you are being thrusted into.
So here I am a week away from my 30th birthday and finally feel like my feet are being planted firmly so I'm very happy with that! It gives me some rigidity to my daily life and if you know me long enough, you know I like routines. So here's to the second half of the semester! Take care and God Bless!!
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