Thirteen years ago, I was waking up to recruits running around the barracks getting ready for the day. Morning PT(physical training) was a constant every day in our lives, however there was always this strange odor in the mornings. This morning as I'm walking out my apartment door today a familiar odor taunted my memory as I breathed out the air from my apartment into a crisp fall air.
During this short memory, I can hear the faint sound of feet hitting the ground in time, Drill Sargent's yelling out cadences, soldiers making their way through the morning routine of PT. We could count on this everyday while in basic training to Advanced Infantry Training because we were all Infantry. AIT (advanced individual training) for me lasted four weeks or so, lots of field training and honing our craft. In many ways I love the idea of morning routines including exercising, quiet time, and devotional time. These are things that are intentionally worked into morning schedules if possible.
It's crazy because I remember guys from my time, they stand out more so than those high school memories or friends who were never really there. Their faces are etched in my mind, just like the men who I went to war. We spent from October 2003 till February 2004 together, learning and honing our skills, hours daily spent practicing our craft that if we should ever deploy outlives would depend upon. There are practical things which may seem funny or odd to people who have never been in the military. These things people may never know unless they know the craft, the trade, and to the extent which we have developed our skills.
It's November so there's that, there is more emotion tied up in the next two months than the rest of the year for me. It's like the damn elephant sitting in the room which everyone is tiring to avoid talking about. It's the month of "Thank you for your service" statements and "the free food for one day" however this is not why we did it. We did it for the men and women who may never come home, for those who are still fighting battles, battling their demons, and those who have lost. We raise a toast to our dead, we joke about times past, and live like nothing can keep us back. We are blunt, we are honest to a fault, if you ask what we're thinking just prepare yourself lol!
After all these years these memories still hold on just by simply walking out the door of my apartment and breathing in the air.
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Communicating Sucks
Simple title, but it is the truth. Communicating sucks and it is never easy to say to someone else what is bothering you or that when there is long breaks in communication that doesn't help in friendship. However the reality of this, there will always be breaks in communication and people may never truly tell you what is going on within the context of the situation. In my opinion explaining what is happening though is maturity, telling someone that when they break in communicating with you that bothers you. This requires maturity on both sides, but more so when it comes to the individual who feels that the lack of communication is hurting them. While a person may say one thing yet does not communicate later it can still hurt the other party because what they perceive and what they desire. It's not easy for me with handling long breaks in communication and for me anything longer than eighteen hours is difficult, do not ask me why this just seems to be my threshold.
The longer the break in communication the more difficult it becomes and the more doubt creeps in which becomes increasingly challenging for me to clear my head and focus. Gosh this is frustrating. People who don't know me as well may see this as self-destructing behavior however it is something deeper than that. The value that my friendships hold to me may not be what others would understand, every friendship has a special place and value for me yet if these are not communicated it damages the other person and myself. For some people the way communication works for me may seem a bit over the top or too much. This is challenging as everything that has taken place within the context of my life yet not pointing back at the past and justifying why this is how I communicate, but also going forward and learning how to communicate effectively and efficiently while maintaining friendships and relationships.
Sooooooo how do we move forward in this? Well first it comes to recognizing where we have been and understanding why we have certain tendencies with communicating and other areas of our lives, next it figuring out how to change our way of communicating and how we respond when there is breaks in communication, and lastly put this into action. Be mature when communicating and knowing how to respond acting accordingly when there is challenges with friends. This is painful to write because it shows me areas in my life where there is room for improvement and how to a better person, handling relationships better with all types of people, and knowing how they communicate.
It never ceases to amaze at how God uses different times in our lives to grow us and it just so happens he is using relationships with friends to mature me, making me a better person and a better Christian. Forgive me as I am still human and sometimes there are false expectations placed on others which should not be there by demanding that they talk to me. Ugh. Forgive me Lord. I pray this helps others who struggle with communicating, those who don't know me well you now have a better understanding of my method of communication.
Take care and God Bless!
The longer the break in communication the more difficult it becomes and the more doubt creeps in which becomes increasingly challenging for me to clear my head and focus. Gosh this is frustrating. People who don't know me as well may see this as self-destructing behavior however it is something deeper than that. The value that my friendships hold to me may not be what others would understand, every friendship has a special place and value for me yet if these are not communicated it damages the other person and myself. For some people the way communication works for me may seem a bit over the top or too much. This is challenging as everything that has taken place within the context of my life yet not pointing back at the past and justifying why this is how I communicate, but also going forward and learning how to communicate effectively and efficiently while maintaining friendships and relationships.
Sooooooo how do we move forward in this? Well first it comes to recognizing where we have been and understanding why we have certain tendencies with communicating and other areas of our lives, next it figuring out how to change our way of communicating and how we respond when there is breaks in communication, and lastly put this into action. Be mature when communicating and knowing how to respond acting accordingly when there is challenges with friends. This is painful to write because it shows me areas in my life where there is room for improvement and how to a better person, handling relationships better with all types of people, and knowing how they communicate.
It never ceases to amaze at how God uses different times in our lives to grow us and it just so happens he is using relationships with friends to mature me, making me a better person and a better Christian. Forgive me as I am still human and sometimes there are false expectations placed on others which should not be there by demanding that they talk to me. Ugh. Forgive me Lord. I pray this helps others who struggle with communicating, those who don't know me well you now have a better understanding of my method of communication.
Take care and God Bless!
Friday, October 28, 2016
Unknowns and Me
In the past two months or so it seems there have been several different times when it seems like there are variables beyond my control which influence decisions that will be made in my future, so much that it seems maddening because when one is laid down another jumps up and takes its place. I cannot describe what this has been like besides just short of being in Iraq again, it is the only thing that comes close to what this semester has been. For lack of a better term "Rollercoaster" and an emotional one at that. A lot of my good friends lately have been commenting on my ability to persevere or that I have a strong spirit or I'm stronger than I think I am which is appreciated. What they don't see is when I'm alone in my apartment filled with pent up frustrations because of life and the circumstances which are being thrusted upon me, or when like today waking up at 4am an unable to fall back to sleep. If you know me well enough then you know how much of a struggle it is for me when there are unknown variables, it has become an ever increasing challenge as of late and frankly I wonder in pure amazement how I am still here standing upright.
Nothing seems to go as planned, that is about the only thing right now which is the one consistent piece in my life aside from my relationship with God, family, and friends. Truthfully those are my support networks in which my strength comes from because they know me better than I know myself at times. Unknowns are by far the biggest challenge, they create a frustration which only a few things in life can create for me and the reality they keep jumping up, they are in my face. Last night a good friend and I spent several hours trying to repair a gas leak in my vehicle in the process we found that my steering rack is leaking power steering fluid. This is exactly what has been happening since the start of this semester, go looking at one thing and then find another. How on this green earth do we handle these situations because frankly it has been driving me nuts. It amazes me that here I am just a little over half way through the semester and somehow someway it hasn't come toppling down in a giant mess.
Maybe this isn't so much a theme for this semester maybe it has been for this year, just a thought. Whatever the case maybe there is only so much which can be accomplish within the context of a normal twenty-four hour day. Is it to much to ask for one whole month where nothing crazy happens and life can go smoothly on thereby allowing me to focus on school work. As much as I am writing this for myself in order to process truthfully this is me coming before God publicly because while praying alone, letting others know they aren't alone in there struggles as well, and being vulnerable.
One thing which was recently shared with me was the idea of a silent retreat, going to a place where you can just go and not have to interact with people a lot or even talk within certain areas. Probably one of the best things which I've done for myself since coming down to Minneapolis for schooling. My time down here has been very challenging with many obstacles and now as the time in coming for graduation, my final semester of registering for classes. My thoughts now are, "It's going to take a miracle for me to graduate if this continues." Never before in my academic career has there been such a challenge as this semester has been, it continually amazes me just that here I am.
If I were to be open and honest with my readers this is one of those times where I doubt in making it, where I doubt in the ability to finish. It has been that trying of a semester. I look for God, looking for the little things, but also in the bigger picture and that is the harder part. because right now the word is patience and let tell you what I detest that word, I loathe it. People say just be patient. Do you have any idea what you're saying ?!?!?!?!?! Do people actually use their brain before engaging their mouth.... This is like in that part in the movie when the main character realizes not only does he have to embrace the possibility of failing, but give it his all if he is to succeed. There is no half-assing it from here on out. Balls to the wall. You have to be fully committed to your cause if you are going to succeed, you have be half-in and succeed, or two-thirds, or three quarters. It is everything or nothing. If anyone knows me, they know this I am either all in or not in at all. There is only one option and that is to be all in. Very few times will I actually withdraw completely from activities, challenges, and life because that is simply me.
So coming to the end already. Where is the next step? Don't have a clue. Hard to admit, but that's a fact. Wish there were answers, but lately there has been far more questions than answers. The hardest part is not getting cold to the point where I become detached from everything. I have been down that road before and it's cold, lonely, and sucks. So if you are reading this then pray for me. I need it now more than ever. There is no quick or easy fix in these types of situations. Other than what has already been written not much else can be said. You have my thanks for the continued support through the years and as always, "Take care and God Bless."
Nothing seems to go as planned, that is about the only thing right now which is the one consistent piece in my life aside from my relationship with God, family, and friends. Truthfully those are my support networks in which my strength comes from because they know me better than I know myself at times. Unknowns are by far the biggest challenge, they create a frustration which only a few things in life can create for me and the reality they keep jumping up, they are in my face. Last night a good friend and I spent several hours trying to repair a gas leak in my vehicle in the process we found that my steering rack is leaking power steering fluid. This is exactly what has been happening since the start of this semester, go looking at one thing and then find another. How on this green earth do we handle these situations because frankly it has been driving me nuts. It amazes me that here I am just a little over half way through the semester and somehow someway it hasn't come toppling down in a giant mess.
Maybe this isn't so much a theme for this semester maybe it has been for this year, just a thought. Whatever the case maybe there is only so much which can be accomplish within the context of a normal twenty-four hour day. Is it to much to ask for one whole month where nothing crazy happens and life can go smoothly on thereby allowing me to focus on school work. As much as I am writing this for myself in order to process truthfully this is me coming before God publicly because while praying alone, letting others know they aren't alone in there struggles as well, and being vulnerable.
One thing which was recently shared with me was the idea of a silent retreat, going to a place where you can just go and not have to interact with people a lot or even talk within certain areas. Probably one of the best things which I've done for myself since coming down to Minneapolis for schooling. My time down here has been very challenging with many obstacles and now as the time in coming for graduation, my final semester of registering for classes. My thoughts now are, "It's going to take a miracle for me to graduate if this continues." Never before in my academic career has there been such a challenge as this semester has been, it continually amazes me just that here I am.
If I were to be open and honest with my readers this is one of those times where I doubt in making it, where I doubt in the ability to finish. It has been that trying of a semester. I look for God, looking for the little things, but also in the bigger picture and that is the harder part. because right now the word is patience and let tell you what I detest that word, I loathe it. People say just be patient. Do you have any idea what you're saying ?!?!?!?!?! Do people actually use their brain before engaging their mouth.... This is like in that part in the movie when the main character realizes not only does he have to embrace the possibility of failing, but give it his all if he is to succeed. There is no half-assing it from here on out. Balls to the wall. You have to be fully committed to your cause if you are going to succeed, you have be half-in and succeed, or two-thirds, or three quarters. It is everything or nothing. If anyone knows me, they know this I am either all in or not in at all. There is only one option and that is to be all in. Very few times will I actually withdraw completely from activities, challenges, and life because that is simply me.
So coming to the end already. Where is the next step? Don't have a clue. Hard to admit, but that's a fact. Wish there were answers, but lately there has been far more questions than answers. The hardest part is not getting cold to the point where I become detached from everything. I have been down that road before and it's cold, lonely, and sucks. So if you are reading this then pray for me. I need it now more than ever. There is no quick or easy fix in these types of situations. Other than what has already been written not much else can be said. You have my thanks for the continued support through the years and as always, "Take care and God Bless."
Thursday, May 26, 2016
"A Story Worth Living"
With recent events in my life and the change of direction since 2013 has been pretty incredible, but what is happening now can only be described as challenging because for the first time in my life there is something driving me forward with a passion few areas can rival. Back in 2010 or 2011, I read a book by John Eldredge which changed my perceptions or rather my reality of myself, men, and life that book was Wild At Heart. This book opened up another realm of questions, questions that only between God and I could answer, the answers were shocking when they came out and strangely the pain that was tied to them the words brought healing and peace to areas of my life. A life that had been filled with chaos, pain, anger, resentment, and bitterness; if you have ever seen the movie "Inside Out" there was no joy or sadness in my life just anger to the point of rage at times. However years before in Iraq I found my laugh the best way to describe it during a comedy that was on AFN (Armed Forces Network) and my buddies turned towards me like, "What the hell just happened?" That laugh was a gift which helped save my life in other ways, but back to the book and the title.
The book continued to play a part in my life as it has been reread, reanalyzed, and reconsidered with emphasis on different aspects of my life or different chapters in the book which focus on aspects of a man's life. In 2014, John Eldredge's son launched And Son's which displayed a vlog series titled "Killing Lions" talking about different aspects that a young man faces, trials, and topics which men are fighting with as they are going through life. The vlog which triggered me was https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkw0sKw3xJTfV6T57cfCZgg, talking about pain and how pain is not our biggest battle. This video opened up another can of worms so to speak because it was my first summer in Minneapolis, everything was not going the way it should and life was hard with decisions on eating versus putting gas into my vehicle. It was then I came across this video and it changed my perspective of my time in Minneapolis, at North Central working towards my undergrad in Pastoral Studies.
Then coming to this year, the loss of a couple friends in January and finishing my third to my last semester at North Central I found myself making new friends and going deeper with current friends, then in May I stumbled across a short trailer for a documentary done by John Eldredge with his sons and two life long friends. Checking the dates and realizing the movie was releasing that week which is one week from today I knew there was no question in whether seeing this movie or not, it was a must see. That Thursday, I relaxed all day up to thirty minutes prior to the showtime @ 7:30pm, upon arriving I found out that showing was sold out by 3pm as a group of sixty or so men came in and bought out the tickets. Luckily for me there was a 10pm showing which meant a long night for me, but it was well worth it!
During the movie, I took notes which helped me process what they were talking about and the depths of their conversations of the movie. The premise of this was a life or a story worth living at the title states, kinda gives away the topic not completely though.
Right away it was clear to me that life is not about living comfortably, but pushing the edges of adventure not recklessly, but with a purpose and a goal in mind. There are plenty of quotes and one liners in the movie to encourage someone or to ponder for days or weeks on end. My first impressions were of excitement and anticipations which continued throughout the movie, the reality set in when they began discussing the depths of failures in life or the harsh reality of growing up. At one point John Eldredge came back from a bad day of fly fishing and his wife Staci was just watching him pace wondering what was up and finally John exclaimed he's not out there. What John is referring to is time spent with his dad and fly fishing was their time together, but his dad suffered a stroke and fought cancer which left him unable to fish anymore. It is a hard reality for him, longing to spend time with his father who's not there anymore. We are all longing for a closeness with our fathers as guys doing what guys do, in that we can find a deeper relationship with God one that takes us to places where we enjoy a true relationship.
As I continue to write this piece, it dawned on me that there are endless pieces of information or quotes to copy down, but that's not really what I want to share with you. What's on my mind and heart is something far more simpler. This quote encompasses my piece more so because of the reality of life, "Find a story that tells you about your story. A story that explains your story." I say this because we are all looking for something more to life and for me as a Christian this looks like doing what God has called me to do, working with people because they need help whether they want to admit it or not. I think the biggest piece we can understand is the hope of something more than just the life we live now. Being apart of something bigger than ourselves where in the story we are not the main characters and the characters involved have no ending, their depth is endless and the story doesn't end. The whole premise is finding a story where with God we go to places where maybe we would never dream or do something beyond our wildest imagination because with God anything is possible. I am not glorifying adventure or being an adrenaline junkie, but thinking on the grander scale of life of what God is doing in the midst of our lives as Christians.
It is something we in the west face with a startling reality with modern technology and applications which focus on us and our lives. I wonder where this will all end up in the coming years? Will I have gone out with my boots on or will it be a nice peaceful ending in some hospital bed? My life has always been in God's hands since a earlier stage in walk when reading a book titled Radical by David Platt. It was an honest conversation in the book when he was working New Orleans and how he came to a point where he knew he had to be willing to die for his God if this was something he really believed in. In the same sense I was willing to die for my country so how could I not be willing to die for my God? How could I live a life where it was about my needs and comforts? I would rather enjoy the life God has given me doing what he has called me to.
The idea of the movie is being apart of something greater, how we can overcome our fears as to not let them paralyze us to the point where we are unable to move forward. To bring people who we love along with us on our adventure, to create something where we are merely another character not the main. I hope there is something you can identify with, if you have questions do not be afraid to ask them. I love my God and my faith is something special where the rubber meets the road, to live this life to the fullest. I am a child of God, a saint, a holy one, have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. I am covered by the blood of Jesus Christ and my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life.
Take care and God Bless!!!
The book continued to play a part in my life as it has been reread, reanalyzed, and reconsidered with emphasis on different aspects of my life or different chapters in the book which focus on aspects of a man's life. In 2014, John Eldredge's son launched And Son's which displayed a vlog series titled "Killing Lions" talking about different aspects that a young man faces, trials, and topics which men are fighting with as they are going through life. The vlog which triggered me was https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkw0sKw3xJTfV6T57cfCZgg, talking about pain and how pain is not our biggest battle. This video opened up another can of worms so to speak because it was my first summer in Minneapolis, everything was not going the way it should and life was hard with decisions on eating versus putting gas into my vehicle. It was then I came across this video and it changed my perspective of my time in Minneapolis, at North Central working towards my undergrad in Pastoral Studies.
Then coming to this year, the loss of a couple friends in January and finishing my third to my last semester at North Central I found myself making new friends and going deeper with current friends, then in May I stumbled across a short trailer for a documentary done by John Eldredge with his sons and two life long friends. Checking the dates and realizing the movie was releasing that week which is one week from today I knew there was no question in whether seeing this movie or not, it was a must see. That Thursday, I relaxed all day up to thirty minutes prior to the showtime @ 7:30pm, upon arriving I found out that showing was sold out by 3pm as a group of sixty or so men came in and bought out the tickets. Luckily for me there was a 10pm showing which meant a long night for me, but it was well worth it!
During the movie, I took notes which helped me process what they were talking about and the depths of their conversations of the movie. The premise of this was a life or a story worth living at the title states, kinda gives away the topic not completely though.
Right away it was clear to me that life is not about living comfortably, but pushing the edges of adventure not recklessly, but with a purpose and a goal in mind. There are plenty of quotes and one liners in the movie to encourage someone or to ponder for days or weeks on end. My first impressions were of excitement and anticipations which continued throughout the movie, the reality set in when they began discussing the depths of failures in life or the harsh reality of growing up. At one point John Eldredge came back from a bad day of fly fishing and his wife Staci was just watching him pace wondering what was up and finally John exclaimed he's not out there. What John is referring to is time spent with his dad and fly fishing was their time together, but his dad suffered a stroke and fought cancer which left him unable to fish anymore. It is a hard reality for him, longing to spend time with his father who's not there anymore. We are all longing for a closeness with our fathers as guys doing what guys do, in that we can find a deeper relationship with God one that takes us to places where we enjoy a true relationship.
As I continue to write this piece, it dawned on me that there are endless pieces of information or quotes to copy down, but that's not really what I want to share with you. What's on my mind and heart is something far more simpler. This quote encompasses my piece more so because of the reality of life, "Find a story that tells you about your story. A story that explains your story." I say this because we are all looking for something more to life and for me as a Christian this looks like doing what God has called me to do, working with people because they need help whether they want to admit it or not. I think the biggest piece we can understand is the hope of something more than just the life we live now. Being apart of something bigger than ourselves where in the story we are not the main characters and the characters involved have no ending, their depth is endless and the story doesn't end. The whole premise is finding a story where with God we go to places where maybe we would never dream or do something beyond our wildest imagination because with God anything is possible. I am not glorifying adventure or being an adrenaline junkie, but thinking on the grander scale of life of what God is doing in the midst of our lives as Christians.
It is something we in the west face with a startling reality with modern technology and applications which focus on us and our lives. I wonder where this will all end up in the coming years? Will I have gone out with my boots on or will it be a nice peaceful ending in some hospital bed? My life has always been in God's hands since a earlier stage in walk when reading a book titled Radical by David Platt. It was an honest conversation in the book when he was working New Orleans and how he came to a point where he knew he had to be willing to die for his God if this was something he really believed in. In the same sense I was willing to die for my country so how could I not be willing to die for my God? How could I live a life where it was about my needs and comforts? I would rather enjoy the life God has given me doing what he has called me to.
The idea of the movie is being apart of something greater, how we can overcome our fears as to not let them paralyze us to the point where we are unable to move forward. To bring people who we love along with us on our adventure, to create something where we are merely another character not the main. I hope there is something you can identify with, if you have questions do not be afraid to ask them. I love my God and my faith is something special where the rubber meets the road, to live this life to the fullest. I am a child of God, a saint, a holy one, have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. I am covered by the blood of Jesus Christ and my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life.
Take care and God Bless!!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
School, Life, and Me
These last couple semesters of school have gone by faster than I could ever anticipate and now within a year I will be graduating from North Central and moving forward from a place where the last three years of my life have been given. Forging of new relationships and figuring out my place in this world will be part of that journey, but the hardest part will be whether to stay in Minneapolis or move back to Duluth. It is hard to know right now where I will end up, but my hopes are to travel after graduation however not sure if that will be right away or down the road. Just thinking about the future is kind of daunting as there are challenges that have to present themselves, new people to meet, and decisions to make which may or will alter my course. To be honest I don't really bother myself with these questions or thoughts as I am relaxed and a bit more care free than I would admit in person.
So how are y'all doing? What has been going on in your lives? I ask these questions not draw away from my post, but because I wonder. People have been reading my blog for a while and for the most part there is little interaction between me and the readers minus those who read my blog via Facebook. I wonder if there are questions my readers have for me. I hope you are doing well because when I was blogging more there was a interaction that was there and I've missed blogging truthfully. So how does a person convey to others? How do we relate? In my Homiletics II course, we had to read a book called Communicating For A Change and it maybe rethink how I have interacted with my audiences, how to connect them to what I want to share. This class has been a challenge for me because the best grade I've received is a B and now with my final message on the 26th of April there is plenty of time to prepare. It has really challenged my ability to communicate a message to my audience, to see that they grasp the material that I am talking about, but maybe I'm going about this in the completely wrong way.
I have always like the TED talk style of communicating with an audience versus your normal Sunday mornings, but it is almost as if I am trying to find my style which is never easy. When I talk about personal stories it is like breathing, but when I have to craft something for a class it becomes more challenging because their are requirements and I struggle with meeting requirements. Requirements are the exact opposite of what makes me in my mind, this is never easy nor fun. My first sermon was rough; right before I was very anxious and struggled with my words, long pauses plagued me. It could be that there is need for more practice which will always be the best way to learn because I have always been a hands on learner. It has been interesting to watch myself grow semester after semester, year after year; to see what comes out of me when pushed to learn, to grow, and when professors are nudging me to grow.
Growth is never easy in any area of our lives, especially as a student I think it is even tougher because every year the professors standards/expectations changes with the classes that you are in. I think for me this has been some of the most beneficial time in the recent years; to think about where and how this all started to where I am today is kinda remarkable because no credit do I desire. The people have made the journey all the more bearable, they have blessed me by their friendships and just asking how I am doing means a lot. The month of March has really been solid, I am fortunate to have had a such a good month after last semester and the start to this year. God has blessed me and I look forward to the next pieces of this journey and where he takes me because there are hopes, dreams, plans, and the unknown that all await. I'm glad I was able to put together this blog!
Take care and God Bless!!
So how are y'all doing? What has been going on in your lives? I ask these questions not draw away from my post, but because I wonder. People have been reading my blog for a while and for the most part there is little interaction between me and the readers minus those who read my blog via Facebook. I wonder if there are questions my readers have for me. I hope you are doing well because when I was blogging more there was a interaction that was there and I've missed blogging truthfully. So how does a person convey to others? How do we relate? In my Homiletics II course, we had to read a book called Communicating For A Change and it maybe rethink how I have interacted with my audiences, how to connect them to what I want to share. This class has been a challenge for me because the best grade I've received is a B and now with my final message on the 26th of April there is plenty of time to prepare. It has really challenged my ability to communicate a message to my audience, to see that they grasp the material that I am talking about, but maybe I'm going about this in the completely wrong way.
I have always like the TED talk style of communicating with an audience versus your normal Sunday mornings, but it is almost as if I am trying to find my style which is never easy. When I talk about personal stories it is like breathing, but when I have to craft something for a class it becomes more challenging because their are requirements and I struggle with meeting requirements. Requirements are the exact opposite of what makes me in my mind, this is never easy nor fun. My first sermon was rough; right before I was very anxious and struggled with my words, long pauses plagued me. It could be that there is need for more practice which will always be the best way to learn because I have always been a hands on learner. It has been interesting to watch myself grow semester after semester, year after year; to see what comes out of me when pushed to learn, to grow, and when professors are nudging me to grow.
Growth is never easy in any area of our lives, especially as a student I think it is even tougher because every year the professors standards/expectations changes with the classes that you are in. I think for me this has been some of the most beneficial time in the recent years; to think about where and how this all started to where I am today is kinda remarkable because no credit do I desire. The people have made the journey all the more bearable, they have blessed me by their friendships and just asking how I am doing means a lot. The month of March has really been solid, I am fortunate to have had a such a good month after last semester and the start to this year. God has blessed me and I look forward to the next pieces of this journey and where he takes me because there are hopes, dreams, plans, and the unknown that all await. I'm glad I was able to put together this blog!
Take care and God Bless!!
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Time
With the time constraints of school this has taken a back... I don't like it, but that is the case and my writing continues just not so much on this blog as it does on my facebook page. Unfortunately my facebook is private and only my friends can it it. I hope to get bake to blogging sometime soon.
I am doing well for the most part, still adjust to a new semester of school with changes happening in my personal life. The death of two Vietnam veterans who were friends of mine passed away at the end of January which hit home, both men of God whose lives impacted me and I am forever grateful that our paths crossed. God is still good! I'm grateful for all the readers, people who have left encouraging comments and those who silently read in the background.
My hope and prayer is that others are blessed by what I have shared, that God would touch your lives as he has touched mine and now another year is starting with nearly two months in of this year there is promise for what will come in this year.
Thank you all!
Take care and God Bless!!
I am doing well for the most part, still adjust to a new semester of school with changes happening in my personal life. The death of two Vietnam veterans who were friends of mine passed away at the end of January which hit home, both men of God whose lives impacted me and I am forever grateful that our paths crossed. God is still good! I'm grateful for all the readers, people who have left encouraging comments and those who silently read in the background.
My hope and prayer is that others are blessed by what I have shared, that God would touch your lives as he has touched mine and now another year is starting with nearly two months in of this year there is promise for what will come in this year.
Thank you all!
Take care and God Bless!!
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