Wednesday, January 17, 2018

“Am I Ever Going to Get Married”

First off, let me say not being in college is great and I’m loving being graduated. I have an apartment in Osseo, MN not far from work and it’s slowly being furnished/put together. Honestly this is something that has been good, my own space filled me and my own crap. Not having to deal with roommates or noisy traffic has been great. 

However the question people love to ask me is, “Dating anyone? Got a woman in your life?” Then there are those who jokingly poke, prod, and ask me if I’m dating, to those I role my eyes at or make remarks based upon age, relationship, and friendship but most of the time I just laugh. My life doesn’t fit the mold for what Americans think of a young man and that’s fine by me. 

Is there changes which need to occur? Yes. Will they happen? Only if I discipline myself will they. But truthfully in my life there have been moments which I’ve hurried and where missed opportunities smack of pride. In my younger years I was in such a hurry to do x,y,&z that there are missed moments. One area in my life was getting married, so I flailed away in angst getting no where. So much that I’ve missed moments, but something happened in my last year of college which showed me more about myself. 

That one simple thing was how much I enjoy sharing life with people regardless of age, gender, or interests. You see in the late fall 2016 semester I embarked on a journey because of a dare by a friend. Not the stupid dares you see or hear of, but to go out of my realm of comfort. He has given a great performance in a theatrical titled The Secret Garden, you see I’m known by my peers because of my life and the scenes I laugh at. There was a play coming up and he put me up to the challenge of auditioning, me no experience nothing. Sure what’s the worst? They say no? Okay. Welp, then we meet mister bronchitis. Yeah that sums up that audition. Then there was the student led One Acts, where students would lead/direct and help recreate a small portion of a massive play. The play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, me I was King Claudius, oh what a sight. We practiced for weeks, preparing and memorizing lines, cast changes and all for recreating a play. But it wasn’t the play itself, it was being around the people. The night of the play, we are doing last minute checks, then we are milling about in the seats which the very spectators will be watching from. It’s here you find a small band of students huddled around talking, we get on the topic of friends. Being me and sometimes sharing to much, I openly talk about friendships and how to determine who’s healthy for you as a person. Immediately I reference Madea as the in the Tyler Parry show, and from here everyone is grasped. Full attention. Questions arise. It was in this moment where I realized how much I love people. Not in the sense of the attention, but their earnestness to learn or to hear from someone who has experienced more or simply to hear from someone else. I wish I’d gotten a picture of everyone, because the group ranged from your typical theater majors to a big goofy guy who’s seen way to many war movies lol! 

You see it’s not that I don’t want to get married, it’s that I want to be around people who care deeply for others, that spend their days living out the cause of the Gospel more than anything else. If that means I forfeit my right to marry simply because not being married allows me to rub shoulders with people who I  may otherwise not then so be it. I know there will be people who will read this and think, “You’re crazy or this dude is off his rocker,” but you know what to do what I’ve done in my life you have to be a little off center. 

You don’t sign up for the Infantry at age 19 knowing you could be killed and not be a little crazy. It’s decisions like these which have guided my life. Listen friends, if there is a woman out and I believe there who God has for me then great, but I’m not going to live my life as if she will never come or we will never meet. I believe when the time is right it will happen, that’s Gods timing not mine. 

I love the idea of sharing my life with a person, traveling, having a family, pursuing God and sharing the Gospel. But here’s the catch, it’s all or nothing. If God were to tell me to sell my things and go become a missionary in a third world country where Christians are persecuted because of their faith I would. It would be hard, but that’s the price I’m willing to pay, formed in word and thought nearly 7 years ago. 

So if you’re wondering when that special person will come along, stop it. Stop waiting and start living your life. Your life doesn’t begin when you’re married, it begins when you realize it’s waiting for you before your very eyes. I cannot say that I’ve learned to be content in all things because I’m not, but I’m striving toward that goal daily. 

Our culture will judge a persons life bun how full it is, if they are married, kids, job, but God looks at our lives differently. So stop playing the waiting game and grab life by the horns and run with where it takes you. Please do not waste time wondering when will he or she come into your life, it’s pointless. 

Have a good night and God willin’ see ya next week. Take care and God bless!

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