"A Story Worth Living"

With recent events in my life and the change of direction since 2013 has been pretty incredible, but what is happening now can only be described as challenging because for the first time in my life there is something driving me forward with a passion few areas can rival. Back in 2010 or 2011, I read a book by John Eldredge which changed my perceptions or rather my reality of myself, men, and life that book was Wild At Heart. This book opened up another realm of questions, questions that only between God and I could answer, the answers were shocking when they came out and strangely the pain that was tied to them the words brought healing and peace to areas of my life. A life that had been filled with chaos, pain, anger, resentment, and bitterness; if you have ever seen the movie "Inside Out" there was no joy or sadness in my life just anger to the point of rage at times. However years before in Iraq I found my laugh the best way to describe it during a comedy that was on AFN (Armed Forces Network) and my buddies turned towards me like, "What the hell just happened?" That laugh was a gift which helped save my life in other ways, but back to the book and the title.

The book continued to play a part in my life as it has been reread, reanalyzed, and reconsidered with emphasis on different aspects of my life or different chapters in the book which focus on aspects of a man's life. In 2014, John Eldredge's son launched And Son's which displayed a vlog series titled "Killing Lions" talking about different aspects that a young man faces, trials, and topics which men are fighting with as they are going through life. The vlog which triggered me was https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkw0sKw3xJTfV6T57cfCZgg, talking about pain and how pain is not our biggest battle. This video opened up another can of worms so to speak because it was my first summer in Minneapolis, everything was not going the way it should and life was hard with decisions on eating versus putting gas into my vehicle. It was then I came across this video and it changed my perspective of my time in Minneapolis, at North Central working towards my undergrad in Pastoral Studies.

Then coming to this year, the loss of a couple friends in January and finishing my third to my last semester at North Central I found myself making new friends and going deeper with current friends, then in May I stumbled across a short trailer for a documentary done by John Eldredge with his sons and two life long friends. Checking the dates and realizing the movie was releasing that week which is one week from today I knew there was no question in whether seeing this movie or not, it was a must see. That Thursday, I relaxed all day up to thirty minutes prior to the showtime @ 7:30pm, upon arriving I found out that showing was sold out by 3pm as a group of sixty or so men came in and bought out the tickets. Luckily for me there was a 10pm showing which meant a long night for me, but it was well worth it!

During the movie, I took notes which helped me process what they were talking about and the depths of their conversations of the movie. The premise of this was a life or a story worth living at the title states, kinda gives away the topic not completely though.

Right away it was clear to me that life is not about living comfortably, but pushing the edges of adventure not recklessly, but with a purpose and a goal in mind. There are plenty of quotes and one liners in the movie to encourage someone or to ponder for days or weeks on end. My first impressions were of excitement and anticipations which continued throughout the movie, the reality set in when they began discussing the depths of failures in life or the harsh reality of growing up. At one point John Eldredge came back from a bad day of fly fishing and his wife Staci was just watching him pace wondering what was up and finally John exclaimed he's not out there. What John is referring to is time spent with his dad and fly fishing was their time together, but his dad suffered a stroke and fought cancer which left him unable to fish anymore. It is a hard reality for him, longing to spend time with his father who's not there anymore. We are all longing for a closeness with our fathers as guys doing what guys do, in that we can find a deeper relationship with God one that takes us to places where we enjoy a true relationship.

As I continue to write this piece, it dawned on me that there are endless pieces of information or quotes to copy down, but that's not really what I want to share with you. What's on my mind and heart is something far more simpler. This quote encompasses my piece more so because of the reality of life, "Find a story that tells you about your story. A story that explains your story." I say this because we are all looking for something more to life and for me as a Christian this looks like doing what God has called me to do, working with people because they need help whether they want to admit it or not. I think the biggest piece we can understand is the hope of something more than just the life we live now. Being apart of something bigger than ourselves where in the story we are not the main characters and the characters involved have no ending, their depth is endless and the story doesn't end. The whole premise is finding a story where with God we go to places where maybe we would never dream or do something beyond our wildest imagination because with God anything is possible. I am not glorifying adventure or being an adrenaline junkie, but thinking on the grander scale of life of what God is doing in the midst of our lives as Christians.

It is something we in the west face with a startling reality with modern technology and applications which focus on us and our lives. I wonder where this will all end up in the coming years?  Will I have gone out with my boots on or will it be a nice peaceful ending in some hospital bed? My life has always been in God's hands since a earlier stage in walk when reading a book titled Radical by David Platt. It was an honest conversation in the book when he was working New Orleans and how he came to a point where he knew he had to be willing to die for his God if this was something he really believed in. In the same sense I was willing to die for my country so how could I not be willing to die for my God? How could I live a life where it was about my needs and comforts? I would rather enjoy the life God has given me doing what he has called me to.

The idea of the movie is being apart of something greater, how we can overcome our fears as to not let them paralyze us to the point where we are unable to move forward. To bring people who we love along with us on our adventure, to create something where we are merely another character not the main. I hope there is something you can identify with, if you have questions do not be afraid to ask them. I love my God and my faith is something special where the rubber meets the road, to live this life to the fullest. I am a child of God, a saint, a holy one, have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. I am covered by the blood of Jesus Christ and my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

Take care and God Bless!!!

School, Life, and Me

These last couple semesters of school have gone by faster than I could ever anticipate and now within a year I will be graduating from North Central and moving forward from a place where the last three years of my life have been given. Forging of new relationships and figuring out my place in this world will be part of that journey, but the hardest part will be whether to stay in Minneapolis or move back to Duluth. It is hard to know right now where I will end up, but my hopes are to travel after graduation however not sure if that will be right away or down the road. Just thinking about the future is kind of daunting as there are challenges that have to present themselves, new people to meet, and decisions to make which may or will alter my course. To be honest I don't really bother myself with these questions or thoughts as I am relaxed and a bit more care free than I would admit in person.

So how are y'all doing? What has been going on in your lives? I ask these questions not draw away from my post, but because I wonder. People have been reading my blog for a while and for the most part there is little interaction between me and the readers minus those who read my blog via Facebook. I wonder if there are questions my readers have for me. I hope you are doing well because when I was blogging more there was a interaction that was there and I've missed blogging truthfully. So how does a person convey to others? How do we relate? In my Homiletics II course, we had to read a book called Communicating For A Change and it maybe rethink how I have interacted with my audiences, how to connect them to what I want to share. This class has been a challenge for me because the best grade I've received is a B and now with my final message on the 26th of April there is plenty of time to prepare. It has really challenged my ability to communicate a message to my audience, to see that they grasp the material that I am talking about, but maybe I'm going about this in the completely wrong way.

I have always like the TED talk style of communicating with an audience versus your normal Sunday mornings, but it is almost as if I am trying to find my style which is never easy. When I talk about personal stories it is like breathing, but when I have to craft something for a class it becomes more challenging because their are requirements and I struggle with meeting requirements. Requirements are the exact opposite of what makes me in my mind, this is never easy nor fun. My first sermon was rough; right before I was very anxious and struggled with my words, long pauses plagued me. It could be that there is need for more practice which will always be the best way to learn because I have always been a hands on learner. It has been interesting to watch myself grow semester after semester, year after year; to see what comes out of me when pushed to learn, to grow, and when professors are nudging me to grow.

Growth is never easy in any area of our lives, especially as a student I think it is even tougher because every year the professors standards/expectations changes with the classes that you are in. I think for me this has been some of the most beneficial time in the recent years; to think about where and how this all started to where I am today is kinda remarkable because no credit do I desire. The people have made the journey all the more bearable, they have blessed me by their friendships and just asking how I am doing means a lot. The month of March has really been solid, I am fortunate to have had a such a good month after last semester and the start to this year. God has blessed me and I look forward to the next pieces of this journey and where he takes me because there are hopes, dreams, plans, and the unknown that all await. I'm glad I was able to put together this blog!

Take care and God Bless!!

Time

With the time constraints of school this has taken a back... I don't like it, but that is the case and my writing continues just not so much on this blog as it does on my facebook page. Unfortunately my facebook is private and only my friends can it it. I hope to get bake to blogging sometime soon.

I am doing well for the most part, still adjust to a new semester of school with changes happening in my personal life. The death of two Vietnam veterans who were friends of mine passed away at the end of January which hit home, both men of God whose lives impacted me and I am forever grateful that our paths crossed. God is still good! I'm grateful for all the readers, people who have left encouraging comments and those who silently read in the background.

My hope and prayer is that others are blessed by what I have shared, that God would touch your lives as he has touched mine and now another year is starting with nearly two months in of this year there is promise for what will come in this year.

Thank you all!

Take care and God Bless!!

Blog: IYH 22-37, 502-509; LHMA chapter 20

The basic way to see people for who they are is by looking at the fruit they provide in their lives and by doing so you will learn how to correctly asses others also judge people by the results of their actions. The book on (pg 23) gives the example of how a person was late for work, but it was out of his control because of car accident, however he is still late regardless which is unfortunate. There are circumstances where this process is drawn out and its not for some time before you see the fruit of peoples actions in their lives. Something the books points out on pg. 27 is "the other examples of "trees" and "promised fruit": 1) Parents believe it's important to be with their children, but spend no time with them;(no fruit-question the promise). 2) A friend clams to care for others, and during the week does several tasks such as visiting people in the hospital, baking casseroles for sick neighbors, etc;(very evident fruit-trust the promise). 3) An individual is supposed to be able to come up with new and better ways of doing things, never does so, but always has very good reason for not doing so;(no fruit, great intentions though-question the promise)." One of the harder challenges is assessing people's strength then matching that with the needs as it's not always a clear path for getting their and may take some time before they have a clear understanding of this looks like.

This section reminds me of times in the military when dealing with new leadership specifically officers who had a chip on their shoulder and wanted to prove that they new what was best for us. One person comes to mind specifically and he was a relatively new 2nd LT and right away he was a big hit with the younger crowd of enlisted or those who liked to hit the gym, however we started to have issues with him because of fraternization with the enlisted. The senior enlisted warned him of his actions, even our C.O. wrote him up for fraternization, he became a liability later on in the tour as he took favorites, but then the people who were his favorites began to dislike him. He couldn't follow through on the promises or be trusted because he was a liability with how he acted therefore wasn't trusted by many of us. I respected his rank and authority, but not him or his actions as a leader, however he did have some redeeming qualities ie preventing stupidity from rolling down hill on to us.

Pages 502-509 hit on specifically accountability and the need to have someone holding you or you holding them accountable, in fact in businesses this is almost necessary because work needs to get done. Accountability is what I would refer to as a necessary evil because no one likes it, but we all need it regardless of what position we are, and if you're the leader then you need to hold the people who report to you accountable.

Accountability is one of those things where you can save yourself a lot headaches if you do it right the first time when setting it up, my first mentor held me accountable in a way that really challenged me. When we would meet he would ask me like: How's the devotional time or What do you thinking God is speaking to you? In essence it's still in play today when I go through life, but there is one piece I will be honest on and I do believe that I should be putting more time in my relationship with God because he is our source for everything. Accountability sucks because we don't like asking the hard questions especially for guys in terms of purity, I know because I had people who kept me accountable for purity. It sucked asking those questions and it's not easy at all, but completely necessary, the same goes for leaders.

Managing a staff is as hard as you think, as looking at this chapter you see all the different aspects of working with staff from what you expect of them to dealing with terms of pay then mediating conflict between staff members. These are all aspects of managing staff and it's not as glorious as it may seem, there is a lot of work that goes into this and this is when dealing with people you realize how much it sucks.

I've been around enough leaders to see how a good leader manages a staff versus how a bad leader manages a staff or just personal under him. There was a period where I was providing child care for a Women's Bible study and occasionally I would have one or two kids helping me so we would manage working with the children that we had. Occasionally there was conflict between me and the older of the two kids and occasionally I would have to be that authoritative leader/ manager versus my typical style which is here's what I expect, this is what needs to happen, and working with them as a team and individually. It was a great experience because that was one of the first times I was in charge of people outside the military. We handled everything rather well from kids getting fingers slammed on toys to peed pants, and I would 99% we didn't have any issues working together. Honestly it kinda clued me in on parenting kids as well as managing people under you because you find out right away with what works or what doesn't.

Blog: IYH 440-455; LHMA chapter 10

LHMA chapter 10 is really getting at how a church finds the right pastor and how the process really refines the candidates because they need to know who they are looking for in a pastor. It's ultimately a matter of prayer in aspects, but honing in on possible candidates who you believe would be a good fit for your church/ministry. It seems strange, but in some ways I took a similar process when choosing where to attend college when I fully understood God was calling me to be a pastor, there was a lot of time spent looking, communicating, and figuring out what is going to help me succeed. In the end it came down to two schools: North Central and Northwestern; it is obvious who won out and for many reasons I am glad that North Central was my choice because there are people, resources, and peace with where I am at here. There will always be a process when searching for the right person or place at times and we really need to pay attention to what is important not only to us, but God.

IYH 440-455 outlines the needs for two very specific aspects in an applicant, candidate, or recruit and that is being teachable and integrity, both would be paramount when entering the work force regardless of what you're doing. These become a major factor in searching for the right people who you want to bring a long on the journey or into a position of importance because you along with your coworkers need to know that you're willing to learn from others and they can count on you. In my life people have often described me as these, it is rather humbling hearing that from pastors, friends, and counselors. We had to be teachable and integrity was a trait that was rewarded in the military because it meant your leadership knew they could count on you to get tasks done. So now at 31, this is something that needs to be in my life constantly as it helps me in many aspects of who I should be versus what isn't needed in this world.

BLOG: G2G 13-17

This section is rather interesting as a reader because not only does it talk about how to transform a situation and people, but the challenges in getting there because the steps are difficult, but in the end it is worth, The first example is Roger Briggs and what he did when he became a teacher in Boulder, Colorado and how he transformed the school he was teaching at, but also finding great teacher to partner with him on this journey. Then there is Wendy Kopp, a Princeton graduate who wanted other graduates from high end universities to teach low-income kids for their first couple years after graduating. She began gathering support and reaching out to recent graduates and began filtering the good from the great because she knew what it was going to take in order for this process to be successful. Both these people had to convince others that it was worth filtering out, holding to the strict standards that have been set, and willingness to commit to a long term project.

 The hardest part of moving from good to great is the process because as Christians we are to be more like Christ and less like ourselves, but the only way we do that is the process. It's like the refiners fire or the potter's hand shaping us into what we are meant to be. Often as Christians we get content with where we are at and forget that we are to look more like Christ and less like ourselves; you see this is the same transition from good to great. A great leader in the church will motivate you as a follower, he will challenge you, and at times test you with how far you are willing to go with your relationship with Christ. You see in the New Testament there is constant language talking about being transformed which means to look like Christ, to throw off everything that entangles us and run the race marked out for us. However we need to remember we have the greatest teacher and that is Christ himself, he is the perfect example of how we should be striving to be greater than who we are now. People give up along the way, get content, or get scared that God might ask them to do something beyond what they are comfortable doing and for whatever reason people just stop right there, Sometimes the journey is was separates the good from the great, not the number of messages preached or how popular they became with the culture. To be great you don't need to have a huge impact, just look at Roger Briggs he started small and made a huge impact on the students where he taught.

Blog: G2G 9-13 Issue Two

From the start of this section of the book Good to Great right a way we see is a picture of what leadership should look like in a cooperate office as "Frances Hesselbein was named CEO of the Girl Scouts of the USA.(G2G9) " She goes on to explain that she is not at the top of cooperate ladder for her orgaization, rather she plays an integral role as she makes people aware of the realities facing younger girls such as teen pregnancy and alcohol use which helped bring a realization of what they are facing in our society. This whole sections focuses on what makes a level 5 leader and how we as becoming leaders can avoid making the mistakes. The big focus is on the level 5 leader who is at the top of the pyramid and defined by, "someone who builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will." The essence of a leader is different than the use of power, a leader is someone who inspires you to do something while power can be used to force you to do something that you may or may not agree with.


This book has a lot of ways that a person can become a better leader and by doing so they go from good to great; not overnight though as everything is a process. It is often easy for me to see the good leaders who want to improve versus those who are content with where they are at. If we are going to good leaders for our churches then we need to be willing to improve and become something better than before, emulate Christ. Leaders don't sit behind the desk and wait for their staff to do what they ask, but out front with their people working with them. That is something I always appreciated in the military was most of our leaders were there before and knew what was expected of us, they understood the challenges we faced. Sometimes people have false expectations, humility, and accountability which causes failings whether morally or ethically.