The process to become holy, pure, without blemish, to be without fault, to be prefect. These are just some of the words that might come up if you were to look up the word sanctification. For most of us we have different thoughts or opinions on what this process may look and for the most part it's very different at how we go through this process. What I'm going to do is detail what the process looks like for me and how I go through this. There are others who are in my life and God continues to use these individuals in powerful ways.
The reason behind this post is something that has recently taken place in my life and my good friend Tiff helped me shed light on an area that was or very could be problematic if not dealt with swiftly. You see the problem was that there wasn't light being shed on all the areas within me or specific areas which I would allow or not allow. This makes it difficult for a person to be always understand what's going with themselves and why we as disciples of Jesus should always be in community with other followers. What took place over the course of the next 10-15 minutes were the results of me reading and listening to my spirit while Tiff was texting me. What this allowed me to do was look within myself, to be self aware and to see other possible areas that may or may not be an issue later down the road. During the course of the conversation she was able to point out some key flaws in my thinking and using the biblical sources accompanied with the knowledge she has it became very clear to me that there was an issue within me. The problem was pride and unwilling to surrender to God areas of my life where "my judgement was good enough." I was terribly mistaken.
So after we had finished texting it had become apparent that there was need of repentance which came willing after realizing what was going on. As I began to pray and let the Holy Spirit search me, what came forth was shocking to me. Realizing that pride was an issue, not surrendering had crept in, and here I was in the middle of a sticky situation already. Now I'm dealing with my own junk which is far more then enough for myself. "I believe there is something within me that needs to be removed and because of my actions or attitudes something isn't right. The initial thought is that there are still parts which I'm not surrendering to God and holding on my own. Doing my way not his way. Therefore it's a pride issue and maybe arrogance too. The more I reflect the more I see something unhealthy brewing which needs to be rooted out because it has no place. It's the sanctification process being worked out continually. It's that all have sinned and have fallen short and this is me falling short. This is my pride getting in the way of what maybe best for me and what God wants for me. So should I be punished yes, did I break the policy yes. This is thine will vs my will. Ultimately I must surrender to God to continue the work he has for me. To continue to follow his path for my life. Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial." I was rather appalled by such words coming out and now it makes sense to why I was sensing uneasiness in my spirit. Prior this I had a very similar conversation with two friends which I've made since coming to school. Regardless of how seasoned we are as Christians we always need to remember who we are comparing ourselves to and why it's a relationship not a religion that we have. What a weekend so far! Grateful for the mercies which are new each and everyday!!!
Well that's all for me today people! I hope and pray that you will find some understanding of what the process of sanctification looks like. Take care and God Bless!!
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Pain In The Night
Pain In The Night
We go off to war
We fight for our country
We bleed, we break, we die
We ask nothing in return, give freely to oppressed
Left behind our part of who we are
Lost in the battle we are
Nothing replaces the pieces we lost
We pick up our lives, the pieces we've left behind
Gone is the joy, the happiness, gone is our lives
We've sacrificed it all, bodies beaten, torn, and broken we return home
Our families struggle to grasp what we went through
Screams in the night, memories relived, the ugliness of war stays with us.
We go off to war
We fight for our country
We bleed, we break, we die
We ask nothing in return, give freely to oppressed
Left behind our part of who we are
Lost in the battle we are
Nothing replaces the pieces we lost
We pick up our lives, the pieces we've left behind
Gone is the joy, the happiness, gone is our lives
We've sacrificed it all, bodies beaten, torn, and broken we return home
Our families struggle to grasp what we went through
Screams in the night, memories relived, the ugliness of war stays with us.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Saratoga WarHorse Experience: Part 2
As many of you know I recently returned from New York for a short three day trip which allowed me to share with people who've donated their time, money, and energy into a program that uses retired thoroughbred racehorses in a way to help veterans reconnect with life outside the military. The trip was amazing! The hospitality of the men and women who welcomed us into their establishments, into places where it's a little more difficult to get into.
So back in July I had gotten an email from Janelle asking if I would be available to fly out to New York for a few days to share my experience in a few different venues, to spread the word about this amazing program and what takes places when that connection is made. When I refer to the "connection" it's not like we would think, but something deeper inside of the veteran and the thoroughbred they are working with, something is wakening in that moment. There is something mystical about this connection, that spurs emotional healing in the veterans that have participated in this program. That is why we share our experiences about this amazing program and this is why I returned to Saratoga Springs just a week ago. The more we are able to spread word about this program, tell others, to promote the work this program is doing. You see this isn't meant to be kept secret, but to be shared as to help as many veterans possible.
My buddy and I arrived in New York right around 1:30 pm on Sunday afternoon and from there we got some idea of what would be taking place for the rest of the day. We piled into the cars and made our way to the hotel where we would be able to relax for an hour, then make our way to dinner. Dinner was in downtown Saratoga Springs at the Crown Grill and let me say this, "It was amazing!" Everything from the dinner to quality of people we had the pleasure of serving us, heck even the owners came to meet us. Besides the jokes and all the laughter probably the funniest thing came when yours truly ordered a second 8oz Black Angus Steak medium rare.....the waitress came back with it saying the cook was wondering if there was something wrong with the first one they served me. The problem was it wasn't big enough lol!, 8 ounces of pure meat heaven that was and the sauce just brought out the flavor in the meat even more.We had a great time over dinner and all the jokes, laughter, and fun just made the evening more relaxing.The rest of the evening was spent walking around Saratoga and we had a blast. Conversations ranged from taking jabs at each to time spent in the military, tours of duty, and the like.
Monday consisted of something all together special and it was truly enjoyable, from the time the day started and until it ended. We promptly got to the race track around 7:30 am and yours truly didn't find sleep until close to midnight lol! Once we got to the track we walked right up to the track where all the horses were exercising and being right next to them practically. Nothing was spared this trip at all, full treatment was given as it was truly an awesome experience. Seeing the horses in full motion and watching the pure strength, speed, and stamina in the cool morning air was awe inspiring. These animals truly unique in how they are bred for this sport....the power within them they hold, the bond between animal and jockey. After a while we went back to the hotel and crashed for bit before heading back to the race track to watch the races take place later that day. For the short time we spent at the track in the afternoon, it was amazing as we got to see the jockey room where the jockeys prepare before a race, and where they keep the "colors" which are silks for the jockey, horse, and they symbolize who the trainer is. It was kinda of ridiculous because going where we went, you had to be somebody to go there and here we are just a bunch of veterans seeing all these unique places......such a privilege. After a couple races again we headed back to the hotel for some time to relax before the banquet later that night.
Wow....where do I start? The whole purpose of the banquet was to honor our donors, people who have given of their time, money, and effort into the program which makes it possible for veterans like myself go through it. You see as participant of the program there wasn't a single cost hardly attributed to me as they paid for my plane ticket, hotel room, food, and took care of me while I was out there. There is much that happens behind the scenes where we don't truly understand what is going on and so on this day we were honoring those people. The little bit of what I'm going to share about the banquet is one of the coolest things I heard about the time was from the very people we came to honor was, "The level of authenticity which was here, we haven't experienced before." The meaning behind this is that we don't ware masks as veterans, we show the world who we are, we aren't afraid to tell what we feel only when it comes counseling which is a pit fall. Everyone of us told stories of our own, shared our experiences which we had during the program which has continued to impact us and our daily lives. We were blessed by an unexpected late arrival of Anthony Kerns of the Irish Tenners who blessed with two songs, Danny Boy and Amazing Grace. Everything was done right and to the "t."
If you are looking to get involved in supporting a program that actually works and helps our nations veterans then I would encourage you to check our Saratoga WarHorse as the program is proven and the people are real. They are straight up, truthful, and do what they set out to do! They know what works and have something that goes beyond therapy and counseling. There slogan at Saratoga WarHorse:
Please I ask of you if you are willing to donate then please do! This program works, it's not fake!
Take care and God bless!!
http://saratogawarhorse.com/
So back in July I had gotten an email from Janelle asking if I would be available to fly out to New York for a few days to share my experience in a few different venues, to spread the word about this amazing program and what takes places when that connection is made. When I refer to the "connection" it's not like we would think, but something deeper inside of the veteran and the thoroughbred they are working with, something is wakening in that moment. There is something mystical about this connection, that spurs emotional healing in the veterans that have participated in this program. That is why we share our experiences about this amazing program and this is why I returned to Saratoga Springs just a week ago. The more we are able to spread word about this program, tell others, to promote the work this program is doing. You see this isn't meant to be kept secret, but to be shared as to help as many veterans possible.
My buddy and I arrived in New York right around 1:30 pm on Sunday afternoon and from there we got some idea of what would be taking place for the rest of the day. We piled into the cars and made our way to the hotel where we would be able to relax for an hour, then make our way to dinner. Dinner was in downtown Saratoga Springs at the Crown Grill and let me say this, "It was amazing!" Everything from the dinner to quality of people we had the pleasure of serving us, heck even the owners came to meet us. Besides the jokes and all the laughter probably the funniest thing came when yours truly ordered a second 8oz Black Angus Steak medium rare.....the waitress came back with it saying the cook was wondering if there was something wrong with the first one they served me. The problem was it wasn't big enough lol!, 8 ounces of pure meat heaven that was and the sauce just brought out the flavor in the meat even more.We had a great time over dinner and all the jokes, laughter, and fun just made the evening more relaxing.The rest of the evening was spent walking around Saratoga and we had a blast. Conversations ranged from taking jabs at each to time spent in the military, tours of duty, and the like.
Monday consisted of something all together special and it was truly enjoyable, from the time the day started and until it ended. We promptly got to the race track around 7:30 am and yours truly didn't find sleep until close to midnight lol! Once we got to the track we walked right up to the track where all the horses were exercising and being right next to them practically. Nothing was spared this trip at all, full treatment was given as it was truly an awesome experience. Seeing the horses in full motion and watching the pure strength, speed, and stamina in the cool morning air was awe inspiring. These animals truly unique in how they are bred for this sport....the power within them they hold, the bond between animal and jockey. After a while we went back to the hotel and crashed for bit before heading back to the race track to watch the races take place later that day. For the short time we spent at the track in the afternoon, it was amazing as we got to see the jockey room where the jockeys prepare before a race, and where they keep the "colors" which are silks for the jockey, horse, and they symbolize who the trainer is. It was kinda of ridiculous because going where we went, you had to be somebody to go there and here we are just a bunch of veterans seeing all these unique places......such a privilege. After a couple races again we headed back to the hotel for some time to relax before the banquet later that night.
Wow....where do I start? The whole purpose of the banquet was to honor our donors, people who have given of their time, money, and effort into the program which makes it possible for veterans like myself go through it. You see as participant of the program there wasn't a single cost hardly attributed to me as they paid for my plane ticket, hotel room, food, and took care of me while I was out there. There is much that happens behind the scenes where we don't truly understand what is going on and so on this day we were honoring those people. The little bit of what I'm going to share about the banquet is one of the coolest things I heard about the time was from the very people we came to honor was, "The level of authenticity which was here, we haven't experienced before." The meaning behind this is that we don't ware masks as veterans, we show the world who we are, we aren't afraid to tell what we feel only when it comes counseling which is a pit fall. Everyone of us told stories of our own, shared our experiences which we had during the program which has continued to impact us and our daily lives. We were blessed by an unexpected late arrival of Anthony Kerns of the Irish Tenners who blessed with two songs, Danny Boy and Amazing Grace. Everything was done right and to the "t."
If you are looking to get involved in supporting a program that actually works and helps our nations veterans then I would encourage you to check our Saratoga WarHorse as the program is proven and the people are real. They are straight up, truthful, and do what they set out to do! They know what works and have something that goes beyond therapy and counseling. There slogan at Saratoga WarHorse:
Please I ask of you if you are willing to donate then please do! This program works, it's not fake!
Take care and God bless!!
http://saratogawarhorse.com/
Monday, August 12, 2013
New Beginning
A few weeks back a friend and I had some words about what might it look like for me going to North Central and what we concluded was it's truly a new beginning. Minus knowing a few people on campus, I know absolutely no one, not a single soul, zip. Now the hard part is leaving behind everything that can be left behind and show people who I truly am and just everything that's Nathan not the war veteran. You see over the course of the last three years there has a been a lot of changes in my life and there continues to be changes happening in who I am, my personality, character, and maturity.
Here I am now finishing this blog up just twelve days till the move in day for North Central and just a short six days till I'm back in New York for round. Life has been good and the summer has been enjoyable as I've been able to visit with people who have made an impact upon my life. It's crazy cause just seven months ago I was applying to North Central, then around the 26th of February I was accepted there, and now I'm moving to North Central. In just about every essence this will be a complete restart. New area with tons of new faces, new community of believers, and a new beginning.
I'm not really sure what else there is to say truthfully as yesterday the goodbyes have started as there are many people within the community which I'm currently that won't see me again before I leave for school. It's truly been a pleasure to get to know each and every single one of them. God has used them mightily in my life and for that I am ever grateful! There will not be another group of people like this nor will any community replace this community. The truth there will never been another period in my life like this, but what took place within this community is something all together special. There has been a lot of good times, some hard times, and a few ugly times. But there has been lots of laughter which outweighs all the ugly times. In truth there was at a deeper level a connection with these men and women as their understanding of grace and love was and is beyond my comprehension as I'm still learning to walk in it myself. You see these men and women here along with their families were more then just a group of people who I saw on Sunday or Saturday, but people who I did life on life with. A community of believers on a mission from the same God, to seek and save the lost, hurting, and broken. Because without Christ we are all broken, lost, and hurting. I could name people off, but that's not what needs to happen. They know who they are and how God has and is continually using them.
Hopefully I will continue to blog through out my time at North Central and wherever God decides to take me next. There is absolutely nothing that cannot be accomplished by my God and to that I say, "The skies the limit," this is because of the power which is in Christ. As always I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed putting it out there. Take care and God Bless!!!
Nathan
Here I am now finishing this blog up just twelve days till the move in day for North Central and just a short six days till I'm back in New York for round. Life has been good and the summer has been enjoyable as I've been able to visit with people who have made an impact upon my life. It's crazy cause just seven months ago I was applying to North Central, then around the 26th of February I was accepted there, and now I'm moving to North Central. In just about every essence this will be a complete restart. New area with tons of new faces, new community of believers, and a new beginning.
I'm not really sure what else there is to say truthfully as yesterday the goodbyes have started as there are many people within the community which I'm currently that won't see me again before I leave for school. It's truly been a pleasure to get to know each and every single one of them. God has used them mightily in my life and for that I am ever grateful! There will not be another group of people like this nor will any community replace this community. The truth there will never been another period in my life like this, but what took place within this community is something all together special. There has been a lot of good times, some hard times, and a few ugly times. But there has been lots of laughter which outweighs all the ugly times. In truth there was at a deeper level a connection with these men and women as their understanding of grace and love was and is beyond my comprehension as I'm still learning to walk in it myself. You see these men and women here along with their families were more then just a group of people who I saw on Sunday or Saturday, but people who I did life on life with. A community of believers on a mission from the same God, to seek and save the lost, hurting, and broken. Because without Christ we are all broken, lost, and hurting. I could name people off, but that's not what needs to happen. They know who they are and how God has and is continually using them.
Hopefully I will continue to blog through out my time at North Central and wherever God decides to take me next. There is absolutely nothing that cannot be accomplished by my God and to that I say, "The skies the limit," this is because of the power which is in Christ. As always I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed putting it out there. Take care and God Bless!!!
Nathan
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Loss
Never in my life have I known someone so short, yet feel the loss of their friendship so profoundly. These are the words that are running through my brain tonight.
The truth of the matter is the circumstances surrounding the friendship had changed rather quickly and unbeknownst to me it was ending. I don't know how else to say this, but it sucks losing a friendship and when that happens there is a certain loss I feel. The unexpected and unexplained loss is all apart of this life that we live in whether its the loss of a relationship, loved one, friend, pet, or whatever it is. The reality is there are things out of our control and these things happen. Right now a good buddy of mine is going through something that is incredibly tough with watching his father slowly fall due to cancer that is aggressive and malicious in how he's taking his fathers life.
You see there is loss all around us in this world and at times there is nothing we can do to stop it from happening. But what we need to stop and relish in the time we've been given with those people in our lives. Whether the loss is quick and sudden or slowly and painfully drawn out.
I continue to remark at my buddy as he goes through this stage with his father. His courage to do what needs to be done, strength to continue to work and be there for others is an inspiration even when he's drained from all this. He is truly an unique individual and someone whom I've admired for what he's gone through in his life. He's an awesome man and an amazing Christian and someone whom I'm proud to call my friend.
What I'm trying to say here is we as people, need to truly treasure the relationships, friendships, and the people in our lives for we will never know when that will end. Either in the ending of a life or the death of a friendship, relationship, or a marriage for whatever the reason maybe.
Take care and God bless!!
Saturday, May 25, 2013
"Missing you"
Today is the day we remember those who've written and cashed that check for their country. Their country called and they answered, not questioning the reasons knowing it was their duty. The sacred duty of protecting this country and those who live in it. It is the soldier who has given us the freedom of speech, religion, and the life we have in this country.
Honestly, I haven't had to much time to think about today and the lose which I experienced. Truthfully Memorial Day isn't just a day, it's a day to remember the sacrifices of the many who have died for our country. Just like Jesus dying on the cross for our lives because this is the only story to reflect and compare to what these soldiers, sailors, airmen, and the marines who have died have done for us.
As I sit here in church pounding away on my phone, I think about you. Nicholas Turcotte, you were someone special truly, a person who could bring joy to a crappy day or situation. To crack a joke and have everyone laugh. Man I miss you dude, it's been hard at times knowing that you're gone. Bud, I know you're in a better place and for that I'm grateful, but it still hurts at times knowing that you're gone. Missing you.
Take care and God bless!! Please remember the sacrifices which have been made for our country.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Saratoga Gazette: WarHorse helps heal invisible wounds
Veterans paired with retired thoroughbreds
By Tatiana Zarnowksi
Gazette Reporter
Who knew Butter could bring Nathan Fahlin relief from anxiety and anger that plagued him after his deployment to Iraq? Fahlin, a 29 year old Nation Guard veteran, was skeptical when he arrived at a Wilton stable to take part in Saratoga WarHorse. The three-day program in natural horsemanship, sometimes referred to as horse whispering, pairs struggling veterans with retired thoroughbreds. The connection is designed to release the stress vets have bottled inside themselves.
Fahlin, of Duluth, MN., had found some healing for his post-traumatic stress disorder through counseling with a Lutheran pastor and from long talks with Vietnam veterans at his church. But he said it was his connection to Butter, a retired chestnut gelding originally called Three Lions and later nicknamed for his calm demeanor, that brought Fahlin a deep peace that has continued since the weekend in December when he went to Willow Run Stable for Saratoga WarHorse. "It's like part of yourself dies when you go to war, and everything begins to reawaken when you to go this program," he said.
It's an experience that has been repeated with 70 veterans since November 2011, about half from the local region and half flown in from other states.
Vietnam veteran Bob Nevins, a medevac pilot with the 101st Airborne Division who was wounded in action in 1971, founded the program partially in response to the rise in suicides among U.S. military personnel since the post-9/11 wars. Suicides of service members rose to a record 349 last year, according to a January report by the Associated Press.
"The invisible wounds are more detrimental than the visible ones," Nevins said.
He sees veterans who feel broken, closed off from the rest of the world.
"They come in very skeptical, because they can't feel, they can't connect," he said. We send a kid to war; when he comes back we've got to take care of him."
Giving Back
He initially spent his own money to care for the horses, fly veterans to the Capital Region, feed them, and put them up in a hotel. Now, donations sustain the $2,500 cost per veteran, and the group aims to raise enough money to open a permanent, self contained center that could serve 700 veterans a year. Currently, the organization borrows space at Willow Run Stable, and some of the seven horses are stabled elsewhere.
Nevins expects the organization's 501(c)(3) application to be designated "pending" in the next few weeks, which will allow it to accept tax-deductible donations.
Nevins has been recognized for his community service work. He was honored in April as the Capital Region's 2013 Jefferson Award medalist and will travel to Washington next month to represent the region at a national ceremony.
Nevins is quick to emphasize that Saratoga WarHorse is not designed as therapy or rehabilitation and is not competing with traditional treatment programs or the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. But the program changes people, leading to emotional breakthroughs their therapists and loved ones notice, he said.
Program organizers believe the connection with the horses changes the veterans' brain chemistry.
"The researchers are very interested in what we're doing because they that there's something that's happening in the brain that's making this happen," Nevins said.
Gordon Shade of Clifton Park knows something changed in his brain when he connected with Whiskey, a quarterhorse gelding.
Be he went to Saratoga WarHorse, Shade was ready to die. Post-traumatic stress disorder had plagued Shade, now 44, since he got of the Navy in 1994. He had severed six years the first two in a construction battalion and the last four as a SEAL, he said.
Afterward, he would wake up screaming from nightmares. He wouldn't go outside, got anxious going to the grocery store and has been unable to work the past 15 years. He cut ties with most of his family and friends.
And despite seeing a psychiatrist for the past eight years and being on medication, his marriage was suffering.
So when doctors diagnosed a precancerous tumor on his pancreas several months ago, he decided he wouldn't have surgery, even if it turned cancerous.
"I was going to let it go, and I wanted to die," he said.
But his wife, Karyn found out about Saratoga WarHorse and called Nevins.
"I was like, 'What is this horse thing going to do for me?" Shade recalled.
He wouldn't go, but Nevins kept calling Karyn once a week for months, asking how her husband was doing. Finally, his curiosity gave in and went through his class in December.
"I broke down, and I don't know what happened, but something lifted off my shoulders that I've been carrying for 20-something years," he said. It's like the horse forgave me."
Finally, he felt there was something to live for. So on Jan. 8, he underwent 17 hours of surgery to remove the precancerous tumor. Afterward, doctors told him if he hadn't done so, the tumor would have quickly progressed and probably killed him within a few months.
Since the class, he has stopped seeing his psychiatrist and stopped medication and feels better than ever. He no longer yells at his wife. He's starting to reconnect with some family and old friends and was planning to attend a family reunion this weekend.
DAY OF RENEWAL
Saratoga WarHorse classes take place once a month, and May's class starts today.
On the night before the class starts, veterans are screened by a psychiatric nurse and meet Nevins at the hotel. The next morning, they come to the stable, a peaceful farm on Gurn Springs Road near Exit 16 of the Northway that nevertheless looks and sounds worlds away from the rushing traffic.
First, the veterans learn about the program and about the horsemanship. They learn the retired racehorses are themselves adjusting to being on the farm, far from their regimented training and racing schedule, Lane said.
Then comes the connection. The directions are simple and the effect profound.
Human and horse go together into a ring, and the horse follows its instincts to find a way out, said Marilyn Lane, director of equine operations and acquisitions for the program.
"Every new person is a new predator," said Lane, a writer who trained horses for 20 years.
The veterans are taught about herd mentality, how to read horses' body language and how the horses will interpret the veterans' body language.
"You can teach a person where to hold their eyes, how to position themselves," Lane said.
To start, the person asserts dominance by walking in quick, tight circles in the center of the ring and flapping a long lead in the horse's direction, making it run faster around the outside of the ring. A few minutes tick by, and the horse realizes there's no way out. It dips it's head, signaling it accepts the person as leader.
The veteran slows to a more relaxed walk, snapping the lead fewer times. The horse slows, too and lowers it's head again. Finally the person stops walking and turns halfway away from the horse, head lowered in a passive gesture.
The horse stops, it's muscles visibly relaxing. It then crosses the ring, walks to the veteran and stands, trusting now, at the person's side, often lightly touching it's nose to the person's shoulder.
Everyone involved with the program says words can't describe the power of the connection between human and horse at that moment.
Veterans whose feelings have been bottled up for decades break down in tears when the horse crosses into the corner into the center of the ring and nuzzles them, as well as when the veteran takes a few steps and the horse follows.
Lane has seen veterans open up when they come out of the ring.
"When they walk out of the round pen, they'll tell you think they wanted to do as a kid," Lane said.
The experience is so different from talk therapy, in a way Fahlin felt was because more powerful because he was communicating without words.
"You're just used to talking about your experiences and how they made you feel," Fahlin said. "I almost feel suffocated or I'm trapped in my own mind."
He's not trapped anymore. Fahlin is focused now on entering a private Christian college this fall to study to become a minister and help other veterans.
His friends have said they see a change in him since he came back from Saratoga WarHorse. He seems calmer, less angry.
"I don't react," he said. "I think through things differently."
________________________________________________________________________________
This is an article done on the program Saratoga WarHorse in which I had the privilege to partake in and share my experiences. I am very grateful for the work that was done and what this program is doing, while there maybe many options for veterans this is one I would highly recommend. The people are amazing, the program is unbelievable, and the horses are the hidden treasure! I would not give anything for this experience nor any of the experiences which I've had.
Please if you have questions, comments, or anything that you don't get go ahead and ask. I will do my best to answer them, although this article does a very good job at highlighting what happens in that three day weekend. With that said, Take care and God bless! Good night!!
By Tatiana Zarnowksi
Gazette Reporter
Who knew Butter could bring Nathan Fahlin relief from anxiety and anger that plagued him after his deployment to Iraq? Fahlin, a 29 year old Nation Guard veteran, was skeptical when he arrived at a Wilton stable to take part in Saratoga WarHorse. The three-day program in natural horsemanship, sometimes referred to as horse whispering, pairs struggling veterans with retired thoroughbreds. The connection is designed to release the stress vets have bottled inside themselves.
Fahlin, of Duluth, MN., had found some healing for his post-traumatic stress disorder through counseling with a Lutheran pastor and from long talks with Vietnam veterans at his church. But he said it was his connection to Butter, a retired chestnut gelding originally called Three Lions and later nicknamed for his calm demeanor, that brought Fahlin a deep peace that has continued since the weekend in December when he went to Willow Run Stable for Saratoga WarHorse. "It's like part of yourself dies when you go to war, and everything begins to reawaken when you to go this program," he said.
It's an experience that has been repeated with 70 veterans since November 2011, about half from the local region and half flown in from other states.
Vietnam veteran Bob Nevins, a medevac pilot with the 101st Airborne Division who was wounded in action in 1971, founded the program partially in response to the rise in suicides among U.S. military personnel since the post-9/11 wars. Suicides of service members rose to a record 349 last year, according to a January report by the Associated Press.
"The invisible wounds are more detrimental than the visible ones," Nevins said.
He sees veterans who feel broken, closed off from the rest of the world.
"They come in very skeptical, because they can't feel, they can't connect," he said. We send a kid to war; when he comes back we've got to take care of him."
Giving Back
He initially spent his own money to care for the horses, fly veterans to the Capital Region, feed them, and put them up in a hotel. Now, donations sustain the $2,500 cost per veteran, and the group aims to raise enough money to open a permanent, self contained center that could serve 700 veterans a year. Currently, the organization borrows space at Willow Run Stable, and some of the seven horses are stabled elsewhere.
Nevins expects the organization's 501(c)(3) application to be designated "pending" in the next few weeks, which will allow it to accept tax-deductible donations.
Nevins has been recognized for his community service work. He was honored in April as the Capital Region's 2013 Jefferson Award medalist and will travel to Washington next month to represent the region at a national ceremony.
Nevins is quick to emphasize that Saratoga WarHorse is not designed as therapy or rehabilitation and is not competing with traditional treatment programs or the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. But the program changes people, leading to emotional breakthroughs their therapists and loved ones notice, he said.
Program organizers believe the connection with the horses changes the veterans' brain chemistry.
"The researchers are very interested in what we're doing because they that there's something that's happening in the brain that's making this happen," Nevins said.
Gordon Shade of Clifton Park knows something changed in his brain when he connected with Whiskey, a quarterhorse gelding.
Be he went to Saratoga WarHorse, Shade was ready to die. Post-traumatic stress disorder had plagued Shade, now 44, since he got of the Navy in 1994. He had severed six years the first two in a construction battalion and the last four as a SEAL, he said.
Afterward, he would wake up screaming from nightmares. He wouldn't go outside, got anxious going to the grocery store and has been unable to work the past 15 years. He cut ties with most of his family and friends.
And despite seeing a psychiatrist for the past eight years and being on medication, his marriage was suffering.
So when doctors diagnosed a precancerous tumor on his pancreas several months ago, he decided he wouldn't have surgery, even if it turned cancerous.
"I was going to let it go, and I wanted to die," he said.
But his wife, Karyn found out about Saratoga WarHorse and called Nevins.
"I was like, 'What is this horse thing going to do for me?" Shade recalled.
He wouldn't go, but Nevins kept calling Karyn once a week for months, asking how her husband was doing. Finally, his curiosity gave in and went through his class in December.
"I broke down, and I don't know what happened, but something lifted off my shoulders that I've been carrying for 20-something years," he said. It's like the horse forgave me."
Finally, he felt there was something to live for. So on Jan. 8, he underwent 17 hours of surgery to remove the precancerous tumor. Afterward, doctors told him if he hadn't done so, the tumor would have quickly progressed and probably killed him within a few months.
Since the class, he has stopped seeing his psychiatrist and stopped medication and feels better than ever. He no longer yells at his wife. He's starting to reconnect with some family and old friends and was planning to attend a family reunion this weekend.
DAY OF RENEWAL
Saratoga WarHorse classes take place once a month, and May's class starts today.
On the night before the class starts, veterans are screened by a psychiatric nurse and meet Nevins at the hotel. The next morning, they come to the stable, a peaceful farm on Gurn Springs Road near Exit 16 of the Northway that nevertheless looks and sounds worlds away from the rushing traffic.
First, the veterans learn about the program and about the horsemanship. They learn the retired racehorses are themselves adjusting to being on the farm, far from their regimented training and racing schedule, Lane said.
Then comes the connection. The directions are simple and the effect profound.
Human and horse go together into a ring, and the horse follows its instincts to find a way out, said Marilyn Lane, director of equine operations and acquisitions for the program.
"Every new person is a new predator," said Lane, a writer who trained horses for 20 years.
The veterans are taught about herd mentality, how to read horses' body language and how the horses will interpret the veterans' body language.
"You can teach a person where to hold their eyes, how to position themselves," Lane said.
To start, the person asserts dominance by walking in quick, tight circles in the center of the ring and flapping a long lead in the horse's direction, making it run faster around the outside of the ring. A few minutes tick by, and the horse realizes there's no way out. It dips it's head, signaling it accepts the person as leader.
The veteran slows to a more relaxed walk, snapping the lead fewer times. The horse slows, too and lowers it's head again. Finally the person stops walking and turns halfway away from the horse, head lowered in a passive gesture.
The horse stops, it's muscles visibly relaxing. It then crosses the ring, walks to the veteran and stands, trusting now, at the person's side, often lightly touching it's nose to the person's shoulder.
Everyone involved with the program says words can't describe the power of the connection between human and horse at that moment.
Veterans whose feelings have been bottled up for decades break down in tears when the horse crosses into the corner into the center of the ring and nuzzles them, as well as when the veteran takes a few steps and the horse follows.
Lane has seen veterans open up when they come out of the ring.
"When they walk out of the round pen, they'll tell you think they wanted to do as a kid," Lane said.
The experience is so different from talk therapy, in a way Fahlin felt was because more powerful because he was communicating without words.
"You're just used to talking about your experiences and how they made you feel," Fahlin said. "I almost feel suffocated or I'm trapped in my own mind."
He's not trapped anymore. Fahlin is focused now on entering a private Christian college this fall to study to become a minister and help other veterans.
His friends have said they see a change in him since he came back from Saratoga WarHorse. He seems calmer, less angry.
"I don't react," he said. "I think through things differently."
________________________________________________________________________________
This is an article done on the program Saratoga WarHorse in which I had the privilege to partake in and share my experiences. I am very grateful for the work that was done and what this program is doing, while there maybe many options for veterans this is one I would highly recommend. The people are amazing, the program is unbelievable, and the horses are the hidden treasure! I would not give anything for this experience nor any of the experiences which I've had.
Please if you have questions, comments, or anything that you don't get go ahead and ask. I will do my best to answer them, although this article does a very good job at highlighting what happens in that three day weekend. With that said, Take care and God bless! Good night!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)