What is your purpose ? What are you living ? Is it worth fighting for ? Is it worth dying for ? I ask these questions because as I sit here typing on my computer again I realize that for the time I've been home only part of the time have I been living for something bigger then myself.
For a while I was without purpose, without something worth living for, and frankly nothing that was worth giving my life for. For reasons without understanding I felt the need to talk about purpose, about making our lives count for something bigger then ourselves. As Christians we are called to make our lives count, to have an impact in the community that we are apart of. I struggle with this probably more then I should, but I'm not perfect so my guess is I will struggle with this for the rest of my life. One thing I've come to realize is that when my life is spent I want to that it made an impact around those around me, that I lived for something more then myself.
Over the course of the summer I read a book called Radical which really helped change my perspective on what I was living for. Today as I sat down to play a computer game I sat staring at my screen like what typically happens then I asked myself, "What's my purpose?" , "What I'm living for ?" I know when I was in the military I had a purpose and I knew what I was living for, but now that I'm out I struggle with finding my purpose and as a student it's hard because you life is can be consumed in a matter of minutes. I think some people would say that college is my purpose right now, but in truth that doesn't fill the void in me right now. I can tell you what would fill the void which is knowing that my life has a purpose to it right and that I'm living for something bigger then myself. What does this mean ? I believe it means that I take a serious look at my heart and my motives to see if they are self serving or God honoring.
I look at my day to day life at home and at school, what I come up with just frustrates me. My school routine looks like going to school, hanging out in the Veteran's Center till class mean while I sit there talking about what we( by we I mean vets) have done. This I know needs to change and change now it must. Last spring I watched a movie that challenged me more then anything had in a long time. I think it's time to watch that movie again. The movie was To Save a Life and I think it's time I take a peek at that movie again. As I wander the halls of my campus at Lake Superior College I see a lot of people just sitting a lone with no one to talk to or hang out with. To many times in my time I have been that person just wishing for someone to come a long to talk to me, to hang and share life even if it's only for a day. At home it's a different story because more times then I care to, once I get home I'm ready to leave again. It's just different and I'm not really sure how to explain, wish I could though.
So this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to stop hanging out in the Veterans' Center all the even though I truly feel comfortable in there because everyone in there has been to either Iraq and Afghanistan. Therefore they understand what a guy like me has been through in more ways then one. What I intend to do is making connections with people who need someone to talk to, hang out with while at school, or just eat lunch with. Crazy it is I think at times how God shows us what's going on at our campus and is like HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANYONE HOME?!?!?!?!?!?!? ;)
So what are you going to do ? Are you going to make your life something more then just about you ? Is your life going to make that difference ? Are you going to make an impact ? Are you going to let God work through you ? Or are you just going to sink back into your normal life. I know what I'm going to do, how about you!
© Nathan Fahlin
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
With or without hope
Where to start. Well think I know and that is everyone needs hope. They generally don't need to be told what they are doing wrong, but what they need is hope. We were designed to have hope in our lives it's just how we were created.
So with hope or without hope. It's your choice. I want hope because this is what happens without. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, we don't believe it's possible for our current situations whatever they that they can change. We need hope there is just no way around it, I don't care who you are we need hope. God created us to have hope and by denying hope we are saying that our situations will never change at all. For me hope is the reason why I have faith. If you are a person with faith and hope then you might as well be unstoppable. See we will all have times in our lives or have had where we have felt hopeless or near hopelessness, but the reality is if we have hope then add faith in God where can stand against us.
I've recently engaged in two different conversations with two very different people talking about hope and what it does to us. In both conversations either both or one of the people felt hopeless that their current situation couldn't change. I know one of these people very well and we've had many conversations about changing their situation. It becomes difficult when there is a mountain of stuff that they have to deal with. That's why we need hope. I realize it more and more when I talk to other people who either don't have hope or who have hope. It is such an important part of who we are that God designed us to have hope. Hope is so important God said this in Isaiah 40:31"31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." This is why we need to put our hope in the Lord.
This is what I've experienced honestly. There was a time where I was just about without hope. It came at a time where my faith was just about dead and spiritually I was an absolute mess. I remember just feeling at a lose for all things even my faith in God was dwindling to the point where I said, "I'm beginning to doubt that there isn't a God." There was just so much pain and hurt at that time in my life and this was all be getting deployed to Iraq. I remember walking into drill and talking to a buddy saying what I just said about doubting there is a God and this is what my buddy said something along the lines of this, "There is a God and we have to have faith in Him." What that did to me at the time I didn't understand, but now I have a clearer thought of it. That little comment gave me hope, a hope that continued to push me forward in all areas of my life at that time. God used that conversation to keep me on the path that He already designed for me. Where would I be if I had lost hope ? That's a good question and I shudder to think where I would be honestly.
So have hope because if a guy like me who's been through combat, wounded, and several close calls can have hope then you can to. In no way am I making fun of any situations that people are dealing with. I'm just asking that you have hope and put your hope in God and his son Jesus Christ who has paid the price for us and our sins. So here's what I say. Have hope and have faith not simply because that's the way were designed, but because our hope and faith our in God. I know our situations can look grim, but you know what with hope there is always the chance that they will change.
© Nathan Fahlin
So with hope or without hope. It's your choice. I want hope because this is what happens without. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, we don't believe it's possible for our current situations whatever they that they can change. We need hope there is just no way around it, I don't care who you are we need hope. God created us to have hope and by denying hope we are saying that our situations will never change at all. For me hope is the reason why I have faith. If you are a person with faith and hope then you might as well be unstoppable. See we will all have times in our lives or have had where we have felt hopeless or near hopelessness, but the reality is if we have hope then add faith in God where can stand against us.
I've recently engaged in two different conversations with two very different people talking about hope and what it does to us. In both conversations either both or one of the people felt hopeless that their current situation couldn't change. I know one of these people very well and we've had many conversations about changing their situation. It becomes difficult when there is a mountain of stuff that they have to deal with. That's why we need hope. I realize it more and more when I talk to other people who either don't have hope or who have hope. It is such an important part of who we are that God designed us to have hope. Hope is so important God said this in Isaiah 40:31"31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." This is why we need to put our hope in the Lord.
This is what I've experienced honestly. There was a time where I was just about without hope. It came at a time where my faith was just about dead and spiritually I was an absolute mess. I remember just feeling at a lose for all things even my faith in God was dwindling to the point where I said, "I'm beginning to doubt that there isn't a God." There was just so much pain and hurt at that time in my life and this was all be getting deployed to Iraq. I remember walking into drill and talking to a buddy saying what I just said about doubting there is a God and this is what my buddy said something along the lines of this, "There is a God and we have to have faith in Him." What that did to me at the time I didn't understand, but now I have a clearer thought of it. That little comment gave me hope, a hope that continued to push me forward in all areas of my life at that time. God used that conversation to keep me on the path that He already designed for me. Where would I be if I had lost hope ? That's a good question and I shudder to think where I would be honestly.
So have hope because if a guy like me who's been through combat, wounded, and several close calls can have hope then you can to. In no way am I making fun of any situations that people are dealing with. I'm just asking that you have hope and put your hope in God and his son Jesus Christ who has paid the price for us and our sins. So here's what I say. Have hope and have faith not simply because that's the way were designed, but because our hope and faith our in God. I know our situations can look grim, but you know what with hope there is always the chance that they will change.
© Nathan Fahlin
Monday, September 5, 2011
Normal or common
Hopefully this will shed some light on things that veterans have to deal when coming home from war. Stuff that maybe most people don't understand, don't realize or for whatever reason are just clueless. I'm going to talk what's common among veterans as I'm still learning myself because this is still something that I'm learning about.
After a handful of doctor appointments to the VA hospital in Minneapolis and Superior along with more hours logged in my truck driving I dare say that I have a better grasp on what's common among veterans who've returned from war. My tolerance for people is lower then what is has been simply because I do not tolerate others as much along with my lack of tolerance comes an irritability with people who don't educate themselves.
These are probably two that I struggle most with for many reasons. Tolerance is one of those things that I generally don't have a problem with unless the people I'm talking to haven't educated themselves on the topic they are talking about. The truth is if you haven't taken the time to research and educate yourself on the topic that's being talked about then my tolerance for you just got a whole lot lower. I see to many people looking for society, media, and other sources to educate themselves instead of doing the work themselves. This is also were I have a problem with social media devices too. I know it's not right and that's something I do struggle with and it's going to take sometime to change that. It's frustrating at times because there are people that I like, but for most my tolerances have gone which makes spending time with them tough.
Irritability comes up a lot when I'm driving. I joke around with people who know me about driving and how much other people irritate me with the way they drive or lack of their ability. I'll be the first say I'm not the best driver, but when you're merging in and out of traffic seriously get off your cell phone. This is one area that has seen more improvement because I know it needs to change because I've watched myself do some weird things while driving and the irritability level just goes through the roof.
I didn't mention this one up above like I did the other two, but arguably this topic is probably I struggle with more then anything else and the one I have made the least amount of progress with. Isolation. It sucks and I really don't like feeling isolated. For the majority of August I felt isolated among just about any group of people I hung out with minus veterans for obvious reasons. I can recall several times where I was around people who I call friend, but just totally isolated in the group I was in. It drove me nuts because I all I wanted was to be welcomed. There was a couple times in August that I honestly just wanted to leave because it was just to hard to hang the people I was with and I'm talking about good friends who've proven themselves worthy of a friendship. What makes a person want to do that you might ask ? I won't go into that topic because that is a can of worms I don't wanna open this morning.
I truly do believe there is a reason why I'm around the body of believer that I am with right now because without them I believe I might be lost and ever searching, but would I find what I was looking I dunno. It's been a long road so far, but what's happened is truly amazing so far if you ask me. Well I suppose it's time to rap this up and that okay. It was good to get this out and into the open. I do enjoy writing like this because I get to talk about topics that I actually like. Have a good day and God Bless!:)
© Nathan Fahlin
After a handful of doctor appointments to the VA hospital in Minneapolis and Superior along with more hours logged in my truck driving I dare say that I have a better grasp on what's common among veterans who've returned from war. My tolerance for people is lower then what is has been simply because I do not tolerate others as much along with my lack of tolerance comes an irritability with people who don't educate themselves.
These are probably two that I struggle most with for many reasons. Tolerance is one of those things that I generally don't have a problem with unless the people I'm talking to haven't educated themselves on the topic they are talking about. The truth is if you haven't taken the time to research and educate yourself on the topic that's being talked about then my tolerance for you just got a whole lot lower. I see to many people looking for society, media, and other sources to educate themselves instead of doing the work themselves. This is also were I have a problem with social media devices too. I know it's not right and that's something I do struggle with and it's going to take sometime to change that. It's frustrating at times because there are people that I like, but for most my tolerances have gone which makes spending time with them tough.
Irritability comes up a lot when I'm driving. I joke around with people who know me about driving and how much other people irritate me with the way they drive or lack of their ability. I'll be the first say I'm not the best driver, but when you're merging in and out of traffic seriously get off your cell phone. This is one area that has seen more improvement because I know it needs to change because I've watched myself do some weird things while driving and the irritability level just goes through the roof.
I didn't mention this one up above like I did the other two, but arguably this topic is probably I struggle with more then anything else and the one I have made the least amount of progress with. Isolation. It sucks and I really don't like feeling isolated. For the majority of August I felt isolated among just about any group of people I hung out with minus veterans for obvious reasons. I can recall several times where I was around people who I call friend, but just totally isolated in the group I was in. It drove me nuts because I all I wanted was to be welcomed. There was a couple times in August that I honestly just wanted to leave because it was just to hard to hang the people I was with and I'm talking about good friends who've proven themselves worthy of a friendship. What makes a person want to do that you might ask ? I won't go into that topic because that is a can of worms I don't wanna open this morning.
I truly do believe there is a reason why I'm around the body of believer that I am with right now because without them I believe I might be lost and ever searching, but would I find what I was looking I dunno. It's been a long road so far, but what's happened is truly amazing so far if you ask me. Well I suppose it's time to rap this up and that okay. It was good to get this out and into the open. I do enjoy writing like this because I get to talk about topics that I actually like. Have a good day and God Bless!:)
© Nathan Fahlin
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