Maturity

Well as the days turn into weeks and weeks into months I'm at the point where I want some change. Tired of being in the same old position as I've been in the past. No I'm not doing anything radical, just trying to get myself in a healthy place. I know there has been a lot of growing for me recently, but as always there is more to be done and more to be had. I don't know why, but I'm actually looking forward to the change that will be coming. No, I'm not running a fever or going crazy I just don't want to repeat the same mistakes. I would rather change then continue living this way.

Maturity. What is it ? How do we know that we as people are mature ? How can you tell if you're mature ? It's taken many months and probably honestly years to realize how much left there is for me to mature and grow as not only a person, but as a christian as well. Maturity is where you can communicate clearly with other people whether it's friends, coworkers, or family. Understanding that when there is a conflict how to resolve the conflict properly. Communication is not one of my stronger points as a person and it's rather difficult sometimes when you realize that your point isn't making any sense or you're just going in circles. Boundaries are another part of maturity. Setting boundaries in any relationship is healthy and a good thing. Boundaries are good in friendships, relationships with coworkers, relationships in which people are dating or engaged, also in our families. This has come to me recently after lots of time spent pondering what things in my life need to be changed. Frankly I have a hard time setting boundaries and that goes back to two different things. One is my personalty and the other is I haven't set many boundaries before in my life. I am not trying to make an excuse for myself, I'm simply saying it is what it is. Over the coming weeks and possibly months there will be many different times where I know I'll be challenged to set boundaries with friends.

This last part is hard.... it's hard enough that I don't want to talk about it because frankly it's been frustrating for me to see this and then admit it. Yeah I'm delaying my rambling on and on about how much I don't want to talk about this. None the less it needs to come out and here it is. Until specific things happen in my life I will not be looking for relationships of the serious nature or dating either. There is a couple reasons why this is happening, but most importantly is the fact that I'm really not ready. That's the truth and I know I've mentioned it in another blog post it's just the truth. Also where I'm at with my life is not healthy to allow myself to build a healthy relationship with someone who I would possibly consider marrying. Living at home isn't bad, but for a single guy it's just not the right time nor place to start a relationship. I know some of you probably are shaking your heads so guess what, "I don't care what you think." We are all different and for this is part of the process. This is not easy, but it's the truth. I haven't really been fair to my friends of the opposite sex. It's something that I've struggled with inside of my mind and that's looking at my female friends as possible mates. TO ALL OF YOU I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. So here it is, "Forgive me and the truth is many if any of you did not know this was happening." Wow! Never thought I would type something like this....EVER! It's just been a part of my thought process for a long time and I'm working hard on changing it.

Why oh why do I feel like I exposed every nerve with this post ? It's like being an open book for everyone to see. I guess this is just part of being open and honest with others that you care about. I haven't decided if I like this post yet, but in reality it needed to come out. These topics needed to be talked about and that's the truth. I know it's not fun trust me I'm the guy writing this blog post and yeah this isn't my favorite thing to talk about. Oh just so y'all know Veteran's Day is on a Sunday this year, so don't expect anything special because I'll be off enjoying all the free food that day ;-)! Well another post done and man it's not exactly my favorite post that's sure.

Oh by the way I would like to hear back from everyone who reads my blog with feedback so please send an  email to: bigfah@gmail.com

© Nathan Fahlin