A while back I wrote a blog about identity theft and this actually the exact opposite and these are questions that I had to ask myself this morning honestly. The truth of the matter there are many different groups I try and fit myself in wherever I am. A good example is my church. College student check, single check, veteran check, late 20s to early 30s check. These are all groups if I wanted to I could identify with if I chose to, but the reality is I do not belong to any of these groups.
Where do I fit in ? What group do I belong to ? Who am I ? At some point in our lives we all struggle with these questions and probably continue to struggle throughout our life with them. It's not easy nor fun because at some point we realize that regardless of who we think we are it may not be true. You see as human beings we have a built desire to belong to a group, to find out who we are as a person, and how we fit in to this world. I'm going to share with all of you what this has been like for me and what I've come to realize.
Where do I fit in ? I asked myself this question many times after coming back from Iraq and it was till recently that I found my answers to this question. You see there isn't just one place that I fit in, but in actuality there is multiple places. It's been challenging because as a veteran you connect very quickly with other veterans and there is bond formed through service of ones country. But when I started going to school again that presented a new set of challenges and I struggled to find my place there, but in reality there was multiple places for me during my time there. As I got more involved and found other places there was the challenge of fitting in. When I started going back to church is another example of me struggling to find my place again. Yet after being there for 3 years I continue to find myself realizing there is not just one place for me, there is multiple places that I fit in.
What group do I belong to ? This question goes deeper then the first one and the truth of the matter it's very multifaceted honestly. Being a college student yet very non traditional, a veteran wounded at that, and if that ain't enough I'm a Christian who does his to best to be real with others. You see there is more to all of us then we realize or think. You see whether we think about it or not the truth of the matter there is much more to all of us than we realize. For me this is challenging because as I grow there is this realization that I do not just belong to one specific group. There are days when I act more like a soldier who's still in the Army and that's just straight out ugly sometimes, the other times are more of me being me. This I will say and you can think whatever you want, but for me there is two specific groups of people which my heart attaches to. One is veterans simply because I am a veteran myself. Interacting with these men and women is something I do well and generally comes easy to me honestly. We swap stories, some are and will stay private simply because you weren't there and you don't know what we went through lol! Christians and me....... this is a group of people who I've surrounded myself with and they do their best to genuinely follow Jesus. They are just as human as am I and we get to share stories of where we've been and what we've been through in our time on this earth. These people have helped shaped me just as much as my experiences have throughout my time in the Army and just the life that I've lived thus far.
Who am I ? To answer this question one must look deep into their soul and heart. To look past the surface and really look deep at their actions. For me I not only to look at myself, but to God as well because you see the truth of me is that my God tells me who I am. Not the world, not society, not anyone, but him. You see there is so much that we all struggle with in this life and we need to realize that if we let others define us or our past experiences we become something that we don't want to me. I most certainly do not want people to see me as a "wounded veteran with PTSD." You see if I were to let that become my identity it would change my attitude, personality, outlook, and my image of how I see myself. You see since my identity is rooted in Jesus Christ that I am a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17. What this means is once we accept Jesus Christ who came and died for you and me we become a new creation. Our past falls away and we have a new identity. Does this mean in that moment when we accept Christ that everything changes for us ? No, it means that we will continue to go back to our old habits at times, but we press on toward the goal which is transforming into the image of Jesus Christ and loving like he did. Essentially we become Jesus with skin, this is not always easy as we have our bad days just like everyone else. There is not one person on my facebook page that there isn't some story behind our friendship and how we met. Some have found me because of my laugh, mutual friends, through experiences, through good times and bad. They are friends for a reason.
Well now that this is all done I pray that you see me for me and do not compare me to others because I'm just as unique as you and everyone else!! I hope you all have a good night or day whenever you read this!! That you may be blessed by this as well!! Take care and God Bless!!
© Nathan Fahlin
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