Anxiousness

The last week or so has been really difficult and I've had to make hard decisions in these times where it caused me to be really anxious and nervous about my future along with different aspects of my life. It's brought into question a few areas where things are very difficult to see clearly, but through my friends they have given me encouragement and joy to remind me that I am not meant to go through this life alone. The reason for this blog comes out of recent events in the last 24-36 hours and how they have impacted me.

Yesterday started off as a very good day, but things changed for whatever reason and still trying to understand what caused the shift along with the impact that it had upon me. As my Homiletic's class approached closer, there was an urge to briefly go through my 10 minute sermon, but almost in a moment my heart beat sped up. At this point I was really beginning to feel anxious so I did what I would normally, find a quiet place and get some music going to help me relax and refocus on the tasks at hand. What happened was a series of events which caused that probably helped me more than anything I could do at the moment.

After walking through the library and not finding a sufficient spot, I turned my attention to a local cafe where I would take the necessary time to refocus, relax, and if possible look at my sermon before class. Before making out of the school area, a staff member asks if I could help move some furniture, next thing you know I'm carrying bar table to another building the school owns. It was an easy task and it helped me forget about my worries and concerns. Then a fellow student from North Central ran into a problem where her dog got loose from the sounds of it and needed someone to watch her pit bull named Iffy. Strange name, but nice looking dog; boy did that little dog have a lot of strength within her body. She couldn't of been more than 40 lbs, but you think she was 65 pounds and pulled with the strength of a dog twice her size. Solid muscle all the way, but this would turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

After all the events, I was still anxious giving my sermon, the whole time standing up there my heart felt as if it was going to come through my chest. I ended 5 seconds after the timer and I breathed a sigh, not only of relief, but of peace as well. I heard some good complements and some good critiques as well, both will serve me well in my future.

Unfortunately the anxiousness was still with me this morning when I woke, reading an email which came off arrogantly written sent my morning spiraling down. At which point I made the effort to text a few friends who were able to offer insight which allowed me to understand what had been going on. Their encouraging words helped provide the spark needed to motivate myself to change and not put up with this anxiousness. To seek out and remove the root cause of why I was feeling anxious. It's in these moments when I realize just how valuable community truly is, how we as Christians and people generally need others in our lives to encourage us, pick us up, and at times walk with us through difficult circumstances which we face in our lives.

Take care and God Bless!

P.S. I know that it has been a while since my last blog post on "One Thousand Gifts" as I'm taking time off to focus more on school work which is a priority. Hopefully it will resume in a few weeks.