So this is my trial I guess. Right now I'm not sure what to do about school and finding a job isn't going to be easy like some people think it is. But this all started way back in February or March of this year. Everything started out like a normal day except when I decided to take a nap after lunch. Bad idea and here's why, I'm completely asleep then from the top of the stairs my brothers mother in law yells for (here's where it goes down hill). I hear the yelling and wake up with adrenaline just rushing through my vanes and I'm pretty much ready to fight except one problem is I'm not in Iraq, I'm at home.
Now the question is what to do about this. I'm just starting a string of appointments with the VA which is going to interesting to say the least. Last week I had my second appointment at the T.B.I. (Traumatic Brain Injury) Clinic down in the Twin Cities. I probably spent an hour there and got everything out that's been nagging at me through school and the time I've been home. It's interesting because I tired to talk to the VA last year about this stuff and they said, " You're fine." Now I'm back dealing with the same crap and the question is will they listen this time or will things have to get worse before they give me the help I need. Right now everything I'm dealing with all points to one four letter acronym which is P.S.T.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). A lot of what is happening right now is documentation then it would move on diagnose then treatment.
P.T.S.D............wow that's a mouthful to say and to get out when you're talking to people about what's been going on in your life recently. Just this past Tuesday at my life group the men their asked because I had told them about it and boy was it hard to get those words out of my mouth. If this is what I get diagnosed with P.T.S.D. I just don't want to get labeled by people and that will surely piss me off. People have been praying for me about this because it's hard to deal with something like. It's like you know what's happening, but you can't do anything. If this is P.T.S.D. that I'm struggling with then it then it's gonna be interesting to see how they treat it. I don't really want to acknowledge this and don't hardly want to deal with it to be honest, but if I don't deal with it now then who knows what would happen.
One of the bigger problems I have is if this is P.T.S.D. is who would want to put up with me, who want to marry a guy like me. It's baggage and I know that their are a lot of people in this world with baggage these days who are Christians who've married others that have their issues which helps to comfort me. This could really alter my career choices to and that is another reason why I'm pressing forward with this. So I'm gonna leave you all with these two verses which are as follows:
Philippians 4:8
(NIV)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
2 Corinthians 10:5
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
© Nathan Fahlin
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