Memories

Well as you can imagine with the title being what it is that you got an idea of what's going to be talked about. Here's the truth about something very real and I'm not sure how many people grasp this or even realize that it's there. I wouldn't change anything about what I did during my time in the military, wouldn't trade any of the memories, experiences, and trials.

As I begin to look back at my memories and some of the stuff that I went through I realized how much that's shaped and molded me in so many different ways. Just like life you take the good with the bad, but when you're in a combat zone the bad can seem to out weigh the good which can be very frustrating specifically if that's what you are looking for. Knowing that you served for some high purpose, made a difference somewhere, had an impact.

The past couple weeks have been filled with emotions and feelings that have not been around much along with memories that haven't been looked at in years for some nearly half a decade has gone by without that memory even been touched and now this memory is at the forefront of the thoughts all week long for me. As I was sitting in EMT class last night drawing out this picture of them memory I began to realize that there was no way I could hold on to this memory any longer. Surrender was the only option. I'm not sure how exactly to explain this piece of my memory, but here it is: I just been dropped off by the helicopter that had picked all three of us up after being wounded, before I could even get my bearings I was already on my way getting a Cat scan, after that I was promptly put on a medical bed. Next thing I remember was this medic coming over to me with this utter peace about her and a calmness that just washed over me like a wave of water hitting the rocks. She pulled off pieces of shrapnel off my face, washed the blood off, and bandaged the few wounds that I had. A few days later I was putting my buddies on a helicopter and they were on their way out of country. That night I was messing around on the computer when the same medic who had cleaned me up after being wounded, she found me and asked "How I was doing?" It probably didn't take her long to understand to see that I was pretty crappy. Here I was at a hospital with guys who were all sorts of messed, watching them come and go all day every day I was there just about. We sat down and started to talk, within minutes I'm completely crying my eyes out. This is moment I thought would never end, but it did I finally dried my eyes and went back to my rack (aka bed).

I never thought I'd share those memories with anyone honestly, not because people wouldn't understand, but how could they understand when they have never walked in my shoes......oh how wrong I was. I'm reminded of a song sung by Matthew West and the title is Strong Enough. It's talks about how we don't think we are strong enough to go through the current trials we are facing in our lives. Here's the absolute truth though God never gives us more then we can handle and when our strength starts to falter His strength prevails. There maybe pain in the night, but joy always comes in the morning. Take a look out your window right now and tell me what you are looking you can't find some kind of joy. For me it's simple, every morning I wake up is a blessing from God because as I've said many time I should of died in Iraq, but I'm here. Thank you all for your continued support, prayers and encouragement.

© Nathan Fahlin