" One act of thanksgiving, when things go wrong with us, is worth a thousand thanks when things are agreeable to our inclinations."
Saint John of Avila
It's July and the flag which the Ann's mom bought her is flapping in the wind, it's early morning and she's watering the flowers. The watering can empties, she peers over the porch to watch the bees pollinate, a hummingbird darts from lip to lip of the flowers and the author holds her breath. In a moment everything changes as the words it her hard, "Levi's hand went through a fan at the barn." Knees weak, she runs across the drive way barefoot, eyes shot white.
Levi is howling in pain, the strength of each fan blade hitting his hand and fingers could of severed his hand and fingers, but that wasn't the case. He still had a hand and all his fingers, three hours later they are home from the ER, she opens the doors for their oldest child, seven years old. He's up bad, but only the index finger is broke, he has to see the surgeon, but his hand is intact.
"God's grace" The author's mother pats her should gently and she feels her relief. Ann guides Levi into the house, a slippery question climbs up the author, nearly rattling her tongue loose, but she refuses to open her mouth. And what is his hand had been right sheared off? What of God's grace then? She wonders if she can ask that question.
Ann readies a place for Levi after all the tears and waiting in the ER, he is weary, she comforts him as she strokes his head. She recalls what she heard on the radio on the way, a thirteen year old farm boy was killed, the death was ruled accidental. Her thoughts turn to what his mother must be feeling, how her heart must be fractured.
She glances down at her gratitude journal and remembers how gratitude is daily practice and a discipline we constantly need to put into place. She glances down the list and counts her blessings, the mystery of unlocking joy. "Come early winter, I jotted haltingly, not wanting it to end," then she writes her one thousandth gift, carefully chosen. 1000. Resurrection bloom, an amaryllis, a gift a year in the coming. Her mother in law had given her these the year before, they were kept on the windowsill in the kitchen. Cancer had taken her mother in law, her bulb trumpeted a call: Fully live! Live fully!
My Thoughts
This beginning of the chapter are going to be focused on the beginning as it hit me the hardest simply because of this semester has shaped up and through various events in my life that have left me wondering, "What of God's grace then?" This has been something which at times struggled to understand as to why and now this chapter of this book is the prefect place to maybe share my thoughts on this.
When you have the experiences that I do, have asked the questions which I have, you begin to wonder why did all this happen? You ask, "Why? Where was God? What was the reason that this happened? These were a lot of the questions which I asked right after I had gotten blown up, they are questions which still don't have answers to this day. There are certain things one could say that maybe could fill the answers to my questions.
The reality is none of them fill the answer perfectly or put into words why I went through what I did and then to ask, "Where is the grace of God?" Maybe his grace was saving the lift of my teammates and mine as well. Maybe God's grace is what protected me in the midst of that fifteen month hell. Maybe God's grace is yet to be made perfect in my life? I do not know, but there are more questions still than there are answers.
My only choice really is to remain thankful, a task that is not easy nor lite in what that it entails. A good friend of mine coined the phrase, "Attitude of gratitude." To be grateful for what we've been given and not get selfish or negative in our attitudes. This is a daily struggle at times because our lives have so much going on in them at times and we would like everything to go our way, but that's not always the case truthfully and if anyone tells you otherwise they are lying to you.
God's grace is there for us when we don't deserve it, are not sure why these events in our life have happened. There will and maybe always be questions that we don't have answers for, but one thing we have to to look forward to is Heaven. When we are standing there face to face with Jesus nothing else will matter.
Take care and God bless!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
chapter 4: a sanctuary of time
" All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
J.R.R. Tolkien
With this being my 100th blog post I'm going to simply share my thoughts, there has been much thinking about this chapter specifically and the affects that it has had on me.
When I first read this chapter, I posted a quick clip of what I had been thinking about. I felt convicted by this chapter as a lot of what I'd been struggling with was how my time was being spent and the time spent with God. In the last week or so it's been a struggle and this hit me like a freight train, immediately I had realized what I had been doing.
In the months previous to this semester it was very easy for me to get away and spend time with God, to quiet myself and listen or meditate if that's how I felt lead. This was very hard for me to hear this as the book played out, but it was timely. It's help me understand how grateful for the good times and the hard times when I'm not very thankful.
Then this piece grabbed after finishing the book and it turned into a post on facebook. I had been rushing everywhere I would need to go, not slowing down and taking the time to savor the moments where God would touch me in a way that was new and powerful.
"In our rushing, bulls in china shops, we break our own lives.
Haste makes waste." One Thousand Gifts
The biggest misconception about time is that we need more of it. What we really need is to be present where we are, not the past nor the future, but where we are in the moment. You see as a society it's all about what we want, having more time, but it's all a lie. If you want a full life, live in the moments that you have been given. Focus on what is in front of you, not what's behind you or in the future. Breathe, relax, and soak in the precious moments of life. Live a life of thankfulness. Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving. Create a list if it helps, but live in the moments because before you know it, life is gone.
Eurcharisteo. Thanksgiving, it's amazing how thing's change when we start realizing how giving thanks changes our attitude. But probably the biggest thing from this chapter has been learning to understand time differently. It's not about needing more, but using the time we've been given wisely, using our time in a way that is better for us, for God, and for others around us. Time can be a sanctuary if we use the time we've been correctly, there are plenty of scripture pieces which speak on no worrying about the past or the future as today has enough worries of it' own.
This book has been very humbling for me to read and it's had an impact beyond measure as God has used it in countless ways to help me see what needs changing. I've enjoyed reading this book so far, it's requiring more time to savor the book therefore less reading and more time to process what I'm reading. Which in turns less blogging, it's something that I would recommend everyone to read, even if you're not a Christian, there are a lot of good principles which can be learned.
Hope you have a wonderful! Take care and God Bless!!
J.R.R. Tolkien
With this being my 100th blog post I'm going to simply share my thoughts, there has been much thinking about this chapter specifically and the affects that it has had on me.
When I first read this chapter, I posted a quick clip of what I had been thinking about. I felt convicted by this chapter as a lot of what I'd been struggling with was how my time was being spent and the time spent with God. In the last week or so it's been a struggle and this hit me like a freight train, immediately I had realized what I had been doing.
In the months previous to this semester it was very easy for me to get away and spend time with God, to quiet myself and listen or meditate if that's how I felt lead. This was very hard for me to hear this as the book played out, but it was timely. It's help me understand how grateful for the good times and the hard times when I'm not very thankful.
Then this piece grabbed after finishing the book and it turned into a post on facebook. I had been rushing everywhere I would need to go, not slowing down and taking the time to savor the moments where God would touch me in a way that was new and powerful.
"In our rushing, bulls in china shops, we break our own lives.
Haste makes waste." One Thousand Gifts
The biggest misconception about time is that we need more of it. What we really need is to be present where we are, not the past nor the future, but where we are in the moment. You see as a society it's all about what we want, having more time, but it's all a lie. If you want a full life, live in the moments that you have been given. Focus on what is in front of you, not what's behind you or in the future. Breathe, relax, and soak in the precious moments of life. Live a life of thankfulness. Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving. Create a list if it helps, but live in the moments because before you know it, life is gone.
Eurcharisteo. Thanksgiving, it's amazing how thing's change when we start realizing how giving thanks changes our attitude. But probably the biggest thing from this chapter has been learning to understand time differently. It's not about needing more, but using the time we've been given wisely, using our time in a way that is better for us, for God, and for others around us. Time can be a sanctuary if we use the time we've been correctly, there are plenty of scripture pieces which speak on no worrying about the past or the future as today has enough worries of it' own.
This book has been very humbling for me to read and it's had an impact beyond measure as God has used it in countless ways to help me see what needs changing. I've enjoyed reading this book so far, it's requiring more time to savor the book therefore less reading and more time to process what I'm reading. Which in turns less blogging, it's something that I would recommend everyone to read, even if you're not a Christian, there are a lot of good principles which can be learned.
Hope you have a wonderful! Take care and God Bless!!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
chapter 3: first flight
This chapter starts with a moment in kitchen as the author is cooking with a friend and as the work continually at their tasks, the friend looks at Ann(author) and says, "You've changed." Unsure of what to say, Ann quickly gets back to preparing dinner for the two families.
Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving or giving thanks. The author plugs away at what she has been trying to change for a while, she talks about how if one is thirsty that they do not look for a book to quench their thirst, but they look for water. She continues to look within herself to see the transformation which has been taking place.
In the coming paragraphs the author begins a list, a list of things she is thankful, the list grows as she realizes just how much she has to be thankful. These are things which are very basic things, yet the smile is profound and the list grows, and it continues to grow as does her smile and her joy. It all goes back to one word, "Eucharisteo." Thanksgiving or giving thanks. Such a simple word, yet a profound experience when the author begins to live that word out daily in her life, the transformation is more than skin deep.
" And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them...." Gave thanks. This is the dare, this is Eucharisteo. She flips through the pages of her Bible and finds a couple verses from Philippians.
"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little."
Philippians 4:11-12
This secret that Paul describes almost back to back in these verses is, Eucharisteo, it's as if this word is the very existence of the author. She begins to understand what it means to have thanksgiving or give thanks the more she digs in.
The next morning she grabs her pen and begins to continue the list of things which she is thankful for, her mind dances across thoughts, memories, and current undertakings. The list grows and so does the smile.
The author's husband comes and with a soft sigh, "We lost another litter this morning," he cleans himself as they sit down for breakfast. He's been up four hours already feeding the sows already; there is talk of what's been killing the litters and what is killing the late term pregnancies like what he is experiencing in his sows. There is continued to talk between the husband and the wife and the husband expresses his thoughts on what is killing all the litters as he's informed the local vet who he's been friends with since kindergarten.
The clear the table, he reads some scripture from Amos, the husband goes back to work. Late in the afternoon he comes in and heads directly to the study. He's on to something, already tapping furiously away at the keyboard, she watches from the kitchen. He continues to tap away at the keys, he's hot on the trail of what's been killing the litters, she rubs his shoulders and asks softly, "Anything?" He feels confident that he's found, but it's nearly impossible to eradicate, yet he breathes a sigh of relief. It's good just to name it.
Ann continues to create her list of what she is thankful for, what God has granted her. The list is now in the hundreds and it continues to grow. She makes a reference to the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve and walking in the cool of the day with God.
The author begins with some miracle of joy as she calls it, she is amazed at how her tongue just might be the tail of her heart. She is getting at the attitude of her heart as the tongue tells the story of what is in our heart; whether it's thankfulness or bitterness in some regard. Eucharisteo. The realization that many times she had heard the message, but never practiced being thankful or thanksgiving.
It's a new day and Ann is going back and forth with what will be her ink and parchment, but regardless she builds on her list. Her husband finds her, leaning over a plate of cheese all shredded and ready for a pizza. He remarks at how he likes finding her like this, lost in what she is doing, he pulls her close. Full of joy, happy in all the little things that God gives.
The next four pages is a continuation of Ann's desire to live a life of thanksgiving, she realizes that things in her life are changing, the joy, the happiness, and the thanksgiving. All tied to the attitude of being thankful for what we've been given.
My Thoughts
This chapter was particularly hard for me to read as certain memories were brought up and the circumstances which surrounded those specific times in my life. It challenged me in many different ways. I think it's difficult because it was either 2010 or 2011 and had been going through a series of VA appointments which were done in the Twin Cities because I had been experiencing difficulties in school. The results showed what it wasn't that was affecting, but it also pointed to what was bothering me.
I remember standing there and picking up the phone, talking to the doctor and hearing the results; naming what had been my struggle and in a moment I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew what was going, my assumption had been right. It was P.T.S.D. In the coming months, I would find myself struggling with the reality as life changed all around me.
The hard reality would set in when there would be flashbacks, moments of when I would struggle with the diagnoses, and would struggle to think who would ever want me. Yet here I am, with many friends all around and thankful that I have them with me, standing by my side. We all have our own challenges that we face and this has been mine in the sense that he's a struggle.
It's not who I am or who I've become, but some part of my reality although there are far more better days than worse days. It's for those days that I am truly thankful for, those moments when all seems right in my days where people do not notice my thoughts, actions, or mannerism. All they see is me, who I am today, not where I've been or what I've done, but the Nathan that Christ has redeemed, set free, and changed for the better.
Take care and God bless!!!
Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving or giving thanks. The author plugs away at what she has been trying to change for a while, she talks about how if one is thirsty that they do not look for a book to quench their thirst, but they look for water. She continues to look within herself to see the transformation which has been taking place.
In the coming paragraphs the author begins a list, a list of things she is thankful, the list grows as she realizes just how much she has to be thankful. These are things which are very basic things, yet the smile is profound and the list grows, and it continues to grow as does her smile and her joy. It all goes back to one word, "Eucharisteo." Thanksgiving or giving thanks. Such a simple word, yet a profound experience when the author begins to live that word out daily in her life, the transformation is more than skin deep.
" And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them...." Gave thanks. This is the dare, this is Eucharisteo. She flips through the pages of her Bible and finds a couple verses from Philippians.
"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little."
Philippians 4:11-12
This secret that Paul describes almost back to back in these verses is, Eucharisteo, it's as if this word is the very existence of the author. She begins to understand what it means to have thanksgiving or give thanks the more she digs in.
The next morning she grabs her pen and begins to continue the list of things which she is thankful for, her mind dances across thoughts, memories, and current undertakings. The list grows and so does the smile.
The author's husband comes and with a soft sigh, "We lost another litter this morning," he cleans himself as they sit down for breakfast. He's been up four hours already feeding the sows already; there is talk of what's been killing the litters and what is killing the late term pregnancies like what he is experiencing in his sows. There is continued to talk between the husband and the wife and the husband expresses his thoughts on what is killing all the litters as he's informed the local vet who he's been friends with since kindergarten.
The clear the table, he reads some scripture from Amos, the husband goes back to work. Late in the afternoon he comes in and heads directly to the study. He's on to something, already tapping furiously away at the keyboard, she watches from the kitchen. He continues to tap away at the keys, he's hot on the trail of what's been killing the litters, she rubs his shoulders and asks softly, "Anything?" He feels confident that he's found, but it's nearly impossible to eradicate, yet he breathes a sigh of relief. It's good just to name it.
Ann continues to create her list of what she is thankful for, what God has granted her. The list is now in the hundreds and it continues to grow. She makes a reference to the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve and walking in the cool of the day with God.
The author begins with some miracle of joy as she calls it, she is amazed at how her tongue just might be the tail of her heart. She is getting at the attitude of her heart as the tongue tells the story of what is in our heart; whether it's thankfulness or bitterness in some regard. Eucharisteo. The realization that many times she had heard the message, but never practiced being thankful or thanksgiving.
It's a new day and Ann is going back and forth with what will be her ink and parchment, but regardless she builds on her list. Her husband finds her, leaning over a plate of cheese all shredded and ready for a pizza. He remarks at how he likes finding her like this, lost in what she is doing, he pulls her close. Full of joy, happy in all the little things that God gives.
The next four pages is a continuation of Ann's desire to live a life of thanksgiving, she realizes that things in her life are changing, the joy, the happiness, and the thanksgiving. All tied to the attitude of being thankful for what we've been given.
My Thoughts
This chapter was particularly hard for me to read as certain memories were brought up and the circumstances which surrounded those specific times in my life. It challenged me in many different ways. I think it's difficult because it was either 2010 or 2011 and had been going through a series of VA appointments which were done in the Twin Cities because I had been experiencing difficulties in school. The results showed what it wasn't that was affecting, but it also pointed to what was bothering me.
I remember standing there and picking up the phone, talking to the doctor and hearing the results; naming what had been my struggle and in a moment I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew what was going, my assumption had been right. It was P.T.S.D. In the coming months, I would find myself struggling with the reality as life changed all around me.
The hard reality would set in when there would be flashbacks, moments of when I would struggle with the diagnoses, and would struggle to think who would ever want me. Yet here I am, with many friends all around and thankful that I have them with me, standing by my side. We all have our own challenges that we face and this has been mine in the sense that he's a struggle.
It's not who I am or who I've become, but some part of my reality although there are far more better days than worse days. It's for those days that I am truly thankful for, those moments when all seems right in my days where people do not notice my thoughts, actions, or mannerism. All they see is me, who I am today, not where I've been or what I've done, but the Nathan that Christ has redeemed, set free, and changed for the better.
Take care and God bless!!!
Monday, March 17, 2014
chapter 2: a word to live...and die by
When I read this chapter of the book it was really quite startling at some points and the honesty of the author gripped me to the point where I couldn't stop reading, but I've dedicated a chapter a day except today.
From the beginning with the nightmare and how this dream had affected her and what she recalls from it really lets you know that she understands what she is talking about....how she recalls the feels when she hears the dreaded "C" word. Cancer. It taunts her and the doctor tells her in the nightmare and has been consumer her even while she had birthed six beautiful babies.
The thought of dying young taunts her in such a way that she begins to think and wonder if there is something she is missing, she comes to the conclusion that she wants to live, to fully live. She recalls how it all started with the pain of her distraught mother at the psychiatric hospital aching for the baby she lost which bled through the blankets.
The author begins to tell how for years all she wanted was to die after waking up, life was a nightmare. She wasn't content with life and the life she was living, wrestling with self-hatred and the responsibilities of being a parents. It hits the author that she really wants to live.
The end comes for us, she says and how it will come with or without a doctor's warning, that's the reality of life. She continues about with her daily routine, but while doing this she realizes how this nightmare has rattled her, now she something must be done, but what is that...
She continues to seek after what it means to live fully and what it means, the author dives deep into her relationship with God. She presses in, searching for words or anything that will help her discover. She checks her email and is struck with an email from a mother who's seventeen year old son was just diagnosed with cancer, there are no words to comfort her.
In the coming pages of this chapter, the author dives head first into finding her answer, searching the New and Old Testament, along with Greek words in search, but in the end she still doesn't have the answer. She realizes that in the end, "Does she really want to be saved?" A word stands out from the Greek, "Eucharisteo."
While reading this chapter and having been there myself at times trying to find the meaning of living fully and what that means for me and even now I'm in that season of my life, the author's words penetrate into my heart. The wanting of a full life, a life fully lived and not just going through the daily routine, but one that is making an impact. For me this especially hard right as there are many different things happening in my life. This semester has challenged me to be thankful and my understanding of thanksgiving has been challenged as well.
Through this semester I've had financial issues from vehicle issues, to a badly sprained wrist, and a chipped tooth on top of a very tough semester of college with classes that are challenging me. Information at time that overwhelms me and now here I am a little over half way through the semester, unsure of how this semester will turn out and trying to remain thankful. Having joy in my life has been increasingly tough and my comprehension of grace has grown dramatically through this semester.
This chapter is something else, because it forces the reader into someones life and what they are struggling with and frankly it's what I have been struggling with for a while now. I cannot not continue to remark on how much this book is just pinging me with where I am at right now. It's crazy because it's written in a style which I enjoy, but as a reader it continually draws me in. In some way the more I read the book it's as if it's ministering to me and my needs, I know it's sound weird or awkward, but until you read the book then don't judge it.
It's very challenging knowing that they are times when I do not know what will happen or how this semester or the rest of my life will play out, but still the call is to be thankful, filled with thanksgiving, grace, and joy. For the joy of the Lord is your strength, Nehemiah 8:10, For it is by grace through faith that you have saved, not by works so that no one can boast Ephesians 2:8-9, and finally Give thanks in all circumstance; for that is God's will for you in Christ Jesus 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
Take care and God bless!!!
From the beginning with the nightmare and how this dream had affected her and what she recalls from it really lets you know that she understands what she is talking about....how she recalls the feels when she hears the dreaded "C" word. Cancer. It taunts her and the doctor tells her in the nightmare and has been consumer her even while she had birthed six beautiful babies.
The thought of dying young taunts her in such a way that she begins to think and wonder if there is something she is missing, she comes to the conclusion that she wants to live, to fully live. She recalls how it all started with the pain of her distraught mother at the psychiatric hospital aching for the baby she lost which bled through the blankets.
The author begins to tell how for years all she wanted was to die after waking up, life was a nightmare. She wasn't content with life and the life she was living, wrestling with self-hatred and the responsibilities of being a parents. It hits the author that she really wants to live.
The end comes for us, she says and how it will come with or without a doctor's warning, that's the reality of life. She continues about with her daily routine, but while doing this she realizes how this nightmare has rattled her, now she something must be done, but what is that...
She continues to seek after what it means to live fully and what it means, the author dives deep into her relationship with God. She presses in, searching for words or anything that will help her discover. She checks her email and is struck with an email from a mother who's seventeen year old son was just diagnosed with cancer, there are no words to comfort her.
In the coming pages of this chapter, the author dives head first into finding her answer, searching the New and Old Testament, along with Greek words in search, but in the end she still doesn't have the answer. She realizes that in the end, "Does she really want to be saved?" A word stands out from the Greek, "Eucharisteo."
While reading this chapter and having been there myself at times trying to find the meaning of living fully and what that means for me and even now I'm in that season of my life, the author's words penetrate into my heart. The wanting of a full life, a life fully lived and not just going through the daily routine, but one that is making an impact. For me this especially hard right as there are many different things happening in my life. This semester has challenged me to be thankful and my understanding of thanksgiving has been challenged as well.
Through this semester I've had financial issues from vehicle issues, to a badly sprained wrist, and a chipped tooth on top of a very tough semester of college with classes that are challenging me. Information at time that overwhelms me and now here I am a little over half way through the semester, unsure of how this semester will turn out and trying to remain thankful. Having joy in my life has been increasingly tough and my comprehension of grace has grown dramatically through this semester.
This chapter is something else, because it forces the reader into someones life and what they are struggling with and frankly it's what I have been struggling with for a while now. I cannot not continue to remark on how much this book is just pinging me with where I am at right now. It's crazy because it's written in a style which I enjoy, but as a reader it continually draws me in. In some way the more I read the book it's as if it's ministering to me and my needs, I know it's sound weird or awkward, but until you read the book then don't judge it.
It's very challenging knowing that they are times when I do not know what will happen or how this semester or the rest of my life will play out, but still the call is to be thankful, filled with thanksgiving, grace, and joy. For the joy of the Lord is your strength, Nehemiah 8:10, For it is by grace through faith that you have saved, not by works so that no one can boast Ephesians 2:8-9, and finally Give thanks in all circumstance; for that is God's will for you in Christ Jesus 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
Take care and God bless!!!
Friday, March 14, 2014
Chapter 1: an emptier, fuller life
"Every sin is an attempt to fly from emptiness."
Simon Weil, Gravity and Grace
This chapter starts out with the birth of the author and picture prefect August day, the author describes her own birth in a way that draws you in as the reader. She explains the meaning of her name, but also chimes in about how short it is as well. Ann means "full of grace," and then she goes on talking about what it means to live full of grace. In the coming paragraph reality strikes as the author is about to turn four trauma strikes and she uses a phrase that taunts me, "They say memory jolts awake with trauma's electricity."
This is the year the author turns four and her parents are holding her sister, looking down stunned at what had just happened. She describes what she sees, the scene is a day in November and she is watching the from the kitchen window as her parents are holding the body of her baby sister in a quilt, rocking back and forth. The police come and begin to their work, reports are filled out. There is a lot of pain and agony for the family and the author, as she describes it as a burning sensation.
The truck driver explains that he never saw her, against the weight of the trucks load there was only death, blood covering the ground. The author depicts the unthinkable and the accident which occurred and how her mother continues on to nurse the families fourth child, yet witness the death of their third child. The author continues to talk about her memories of the death of her sister who wasn't very old.She recounts the lose of her sister and how her parents deal with her death, at one point she asks her dad while stroking his hair after a long day in the field about church, the accident, and finally about believing in God. His reply was simple, it wasn't important anymore and that if there was a God, he wasn't there the day the accident happened.
She recounts the creation story and how that affects us today, we doubt God's goodness and what he really has for us, and that it's better than anything we could ever find or give to ourselves. She continues to talk about Satan and how he desire for power, glory, and the sheer desire for more of everything drove him to tempt and deceive Eve in the garden which perverted God's plan for mankind. This affected man kind as we no longer trusted God, believed that he was good, and that God has good things for us.
In the final eight pages something happens, a transition in the story takes place, the author in now grown up and a family of her own. She is standing with her brother in law on a January night, it's New Year's Day and the words sink in hard and fast. John(the brother in law) tells the author that they just lost their second child just eighteen months after their first to the same genetic disease that they lost their first child too. The boy lived five months compared to the four months of the first child, his parents rejoiced that they got to share Christmas with this child, and that he lived longer. It was very humbling for the author. This quote gripped me, "You know..." John's voice breaks into my memory and his gaze lingers, then turns again toward the waving wheat field. "Well, even with our boys...I don't know why that all happened." He shrugs again..."But do I have to?...Who knows?....."
"My Thoughts"
While reading this chapter of this book, I was left unsure of what I was thinking, feeling, or even thought normal for a person to go through in their life. I recounted some of my experiences which have left me questioning God's goodness, his plans for my life, and at times why I was spared or how I walked away from such events in my life. One of the first close calls that I had came on highway 35 heading north, we were coming home from a trip to the south and there was four lanes of traffic heading north and south, then off on the right side of the road a buck makes a mad dash across all the north bound lanes of traffic and here I am sitting in the front seat next to my dad. As we near, I'm sure we are going to hit the deer, but at the last second he jumps over the front end of our families 1991 Suburban and I'm in shock. I'm at this point hyper ventilating from the event. In a single bound the animal was gone, never saw what happened to the deer; just about had to peal myself off the seat after that, my mom got me breathing regularly again. Wow. There are no words to describe something like that at such a young age.
It's hard to understand experiences that alter a persons life and when it leaves you questioning and asking "Why?" you know that you may never have the answers. There have been a lot of times where I've wondered why, but I may never know that answer on this earth and may never know why. This book took me by surprise right away with the rawness of the wording and description the author used to convey how she felt during these experiences. She really does a good job to make you feel apart of the story which in a way helps you understand what she is going through with her family.
The title of the chapter is really interesting as well, because it's a conundrum in the sense that it doesn't make sense logically. An emptier, fuller life, how does that make sense? It's doesn't logically, but when you put your faith in God and his son Jesus Christ you are literally emptied of yourself and filled with God's spirit. It's something that takes place as quickly as we let it, I say this because we have the ability to limit God's ability to change us into what he's created us to be. This title reminds about dying to the flesh, so that we may live by the spirit and find fulfillment in Jesus. Allowing God to give us the good gifts he so desires to give his children.
This book isn't for the faint of heart or feeble minded as it challenges you from the beginning and continues to do so throughout the entire first chapter and I expect it to do so till the very end. I say this not as a warning, but as a note of compassion as the situations described in this book will leave you unsure or asking why did that happen, but you see we all have experiences that we ask or we are unsure about. But at times you may want to question God or ask what was the purpose behind letting that happen, but alas we will never know. So far this is an awesome book and I look forward to reading it.
Thanks and God bless!!
Simon Weil, Gravity and Grace
This chapter starts out with the birth of the author and picture prefect August day, the author describes her own birth in a way that draws you in as the reader. She explains the meaning of her name, but also chimes in about how short it is as well. Ann means "full of grace," and then she goes on talking about what it means to live full of grace. In the coming paragraph reality strikes as the author is about to turn four trauma strikes and she uses a phrase that taunts me, "They say memory jolts awake with trauma's electricity."
This is the year the author turns four and her parents are holding her sister, looking down stunned at what had just happened. She describes what she sees, the scene is a day in November and she is watching the from the kitchen window as her parents are holding the body of her baby sister in a quilt, rocking back and forth. The police come and begin to their work, reports are filled out. There is a lot of pain and agony for the family and the author, as she describes it as a burning sensation.
The truck driver explains that he never saw her, against the weight of the trucks load there was only death, blood covering the ground. The author depicts the unthinkable and the accident which occurred and how her mother continues on to nurse the families fourth child, yet witness the death of their third child. The author continues to talk about her memories of the death of her sister who wasn't very old.She recounts the lose of her sister and how her parents deal with her death, at one point she asks her dad while stroking his hair after a long day in the field about church, the accident, and finally about believing in God. His reply was simple, it wasn't important anymore and that if there was a God, he wasn't there the day the accident happened.
She recounts the creation story and how that affects us today, we doubt God's goodness and what he really has for us, and that it's better than anything we could ever find or give to ourselves. She continues to talk about Satan and how he desire for power, glory, and the sheer desire for more of everything drove him to tempt and deceive Eve in the garden which perverted God's plan for mankind. This affected man kind as we no longer trusted God, believed that he was good, and that God has good things for us.
In the final eight pages something happens, a transition in the story takes place, the author in now grown up and a family of her own. She is standing with her brother in law on a January night, it's New Year's Day and the words sink in hard and fast. John(the brother in law) tells the author that they just lost their second child just eighteen months after their first to the same genetic disease that they lost their first child too. The boy lived five months compared to the four months of the first child, his parents rejoiced that they got to share Christmas with this child, and that he lived longer. It was very humbling for the author. This quote gripped me, "You know..." John's voice breaks into my memory and his gaze lingers, then turns again toward the waving wheat field. "Well, even with our boys...I don't know why that all happened." He shrugs again..."But do I have to?...Who knows?....."
"My Thoughts"
While reading this chapter of this book, I was left unsure of what I was thinking, feeling, or even thought normal for a person to go through in their life. I recounted some of my experiences which have left me questioning God's goodness, his plans for my life, and at times why I was spared or how I walked away from such events in my life. One of the first close calls that I had came on highway 35 heading north, we were coming home from a trip to the south and there was four lanes of traffic heading north and south, then off on the right side of the road a buck makes a mad dash across all the north bound lanes of traffic and here I am sitting in the front seat next to my dad. As we near, I'm sure we are going to hit the deer, but at the last second he jumps over the front end of our families 1991 Suburban and I'm in shock. I'm at this point hyper ventilating from the event. In a single bound the animal was gone, never saw what happened to the deer; just about had to peal myself off the seat after that, my mom got me breathing regularly again. Wow. There are no words to describe something like that at such a young age.
It's hard to understand experiences that alter a persons life and when it leaves you questioning and asking "Why?" you know that you may never have the answers. There have been a lot of times where I've wondered why, but I may never know that answer on this earth and may never know why. This book took me by surprise right away with the rawness of the wording and description the author used to convey how she felt during these experiences. She really does a good job to make you feel apart of the story which in a way helps you understand what she is going through with her family.
The title of the chapter is really interesting as well, because it's a conundrum in the sense that it doesn't make sense logically. An emptier, fuller life, how does that make sense? It's doesn't logically, but when you put your faith in God and his son Jesus Christ you are literally emptied of yourself and filled with God's spirit. It's something that takes place as quickly as we let it, I say this because we have the ability to limit God's ability to change us into what he's created us to be. This title reminds about dying to the flesh, so that we may live by the spirit and find fulfillment in Jesus. Allowing God to give us the good gifts he so desires to give his children.
This book isn't for the faint of heart or feeble minded as it challenges you from the beginning and continues to do so throughout the entire first chapter and I expect it to do so till the very end. I say this not as a warning, but as a note of compassion as the situations described in this book will leave you unsure or asking why did that happen, but you see we all have experiences that we ask or we are unsure about. But at times you may want to question God or ask what was the purpose behind letting that happen, but alas we will never know. So far this is an awesome book and I look forward to reading it.
Thanks and God bless!!
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
I heard about this book through a friend and something about it taunted, dared me to read it and on Tuesday this week while talking to my friend Deb who recommended it, I purchased it. From the cover there isn't much that would intrigue me besides the title. Without much hesitation I dived right in this morning read the first chapter and wow..............she writes in such a style and manner that is powerful, riveting, and passionate.
My intent is to start a blog series that talks about a summary of the chapter and then dialoguing my thoughts or what came to mind after reading the chapter. This is a new adventure for me doing a blog series based on a book and I look forward to it.
"A dare to live fully right where you are."
My intent is to start a blog series that talks about a summary of the chapter and then dialoguing my thoughts or what came to mind after reading the chapter. This is a new adventure for me doing a blog series based on a book and I look forward to it.
"A dare to live fully right where you are."
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