Grace

To often than not we get in the way and screw things up and then we feel like crap or just flat out ridden with guilt because of our actions. Over the past year God has been teaching me the meaning of Grace and what it means to live a Grace filled life. Grace is tricky in the Christian relationship with God because it can usually go two ways license and legalism. I'll explain what I mean later on, but for now I wanna talk about Grace and what it means.

Grace:

1

a : unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification

b : a virtue coming from God

c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

2

a : approval, favor <stayed in his good graces>

b archaic : mercy, pardon

c : a special favor : privilege <each in his place, by right, notgrace, shall rule his heritage — Rudyard Kipling>

d : disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency

e : a temporary exemption : reprieve

So here is a few definitions of Grace. As you see it's completely opposite of guilt, shame, or condemnation, but I can tell you from experience that all the three that are listed above get in the way of us understanding Grace. True Grace that comes from our relationship with Jesus and taking hold of the Grace Filled life is something that we need to understand. More often than not Grace is a concept that a person can't learn in a group, but has to come to understand through their relationship, experiences, and just life. For me when I'm not experiencing grace I usually feel like their is a weight around my heart then I know to start praying and that's when I usually realize what's there whether its guilt, shame, or condemnation. Every person has to come to their own understanding of how to recognize and deal with not experiencing grace. There is not a one method fits all and there rarely is in the Christian walk.

License and Legalism are the two most common things to get stuck with when trying to grasp what it means to live a Grace Filled life. I say this because if you look at the word grace which by definition means temporary exemption. Then by that you can take that and say, "Oh I'm exempted so I can do whatever I want." Well that's wrong you can't, but technically you can that goes more into free will and I'm not to hear to talk about that. There are still the 10 Commandments that need to be followed and there are the teachings to, but this is a thin line to be walked. It's like trying to shoot playing that's turn turn vertically sideways. The card is vertical then turned so all you can see is the width which is an extremely small target. Now try and shoot the card, oh it can be done just like walking the line of the Grace Filled life. Yes it can be done. Legalism is the total opposite and this is where you can only do x, y, and sometimes z. You have a strict set of rules that you follow and that's that! You break one well you better start praying!

By now you are beginning to see the picture and what has to happen for us as Christians to walk in the Grace Filled life. Once we truly begin to understand Grace, we can give that to others. Others who at times may not deserve it or we question should we really extend Grace to them. Well the answer is Yes and always will be because it's amazing what happens when we begin to extend Grace to non-believers and to believers who are hurting and in need of it! Do not take Grace for granted! I hope and pray that all of you will come into a full understanding of what it means to live a Grace Filled Life!! Take care and God Bless you on this New Years (Eve)!!

© Nathan Fahlin

Six Years Today

Well today has been an absolutely wonderful day from no classes to sleeping and working out at the YMCA. There are many reasons why I'm writing this blog today, but the main reason I guess as I pound away on the keyboard is the fact which is that it's been six years today. Six years!! Wow it only seems like yesterday honestly! All I have to do is close my eyes and think about the event and I'm remember there.

The truth of the matter is that I no longer dread December and this is the first one where I'm not locking myself away in my room... well technically I am, but that's because I want too! It's funny because as I'm one year away from 30 and still relatively young my age shows when I talk about my experiences... I say this because as I'm talking to a friend about Iraq and the experiences I've had already. She simply says, "Wow you are older then your age." What she said is fine and most of the time I do my to not let it come, not that I'm ashamed of it, but there is a time and place for when it should come out!

People always seem to be amazed when I recall experiences from Iraq along with the wild and crazy stunts we did in the military. Stuff that people would think you're nuts! Maybe I am nuts, but you know what ? I like who I am! With that said the more I begin to enjoy the things I used to enjoy like basketball, shooting, hiking, and other activities the more I feel like myself honestly! The road to healing is a long hard road filled with potholes, speed bumps, broken bridges, head on collisions, and sometimes smooth sailing! Truth of the matter is that regardless of what happens now and the years I've been given are in a sense very much like bonus years honestly. I know it's hard to understand, but when you almost die multiple times it really puts things in perspective for ya let me tell ya!

People always seem to be amazed at how I am given what God has done in my life! Nine times out of ten there is always a smile on my face and I'm in a pretty good mood! I don't know what I should do know honestly, but that's okay. Sometimes it's hard, but then I remember how the little things are little and big things are big. There's no point crying over spilled milk which is the same as don't a make a mountain out of a mole hill. You see there are little things in this world and then there are big things. Little things like tests, quizzes and the like are to me considered little, but something like car accidents, financial problems, and all that stuff are big things. I've had my fair share of trials and I know there is more coming, but I've got a lot of experience on how to handle them.

Well I'm gonna get off this electronic piece of equipment called a laptop and hopefully read a book!
As always hope you enjoy reading this as much as I liked typing it up! Be blessed!!

© Nathan Fahlin

Looking Inside

Well what most of you probably may not know is that right now in I'm in New York for an animal therapy program that works with old racehorses. So far it's been amazing and I've just met the staff and the other veterans who I will be working with. There is something different about the place and I cannot put my thumb on it honestly.

Over the past week there has been a lot of time to look at myself and take a introspective look into my own life. They have been difficult times because honestly you may not see them right away. Or you try not to notice them honestly because you know there is something there. The times come when I'm honest with myself, when I take an honest look into my life, when I allow myself to vulnerable with not only me, but my friends as well. I'm going to share with all of you the two most recent introspective looks into my life.

The first came I want to say Wednesday while I was texting a friend. I was just throwing some dart in the veteran center on campus which is a normal activity for me. During the conversation at some point by either being honest or vulnerable I was able to see something that had bothered me during my time in the Army. The truth is I hadn't even thought about it till that day.

            It was never what was asked of me as a job that was hard about being in. it's that I felt completely isolated after Iraq. People just didn't communicate to the same after the IED and everything from Iraq. That was the hardest part, feeling isolated in your own unit. December was always fun cause dress uniforms and awards being on the uniform. Guys joking about the Purple Heart and trying to make light of the award, but it was something I revered. Cause I had bled for what I believed in, fought for, and what I love. In a lot of ways similar to what Christ did for us.

I'm not being critical of my unit, just being honest here. I hold no one responsible for this, it's just what happened. I place no blame on anyone so get that out of your heads right now. It took me a while before I honestly saw this in my life and how I interacted with everyone after the Iraq.

It's funny here I am in New York and talking about reactions or just what I've been going through since I've been home. The reality that I've come down to is this that there are times where I struggle with outbursts of anger. I do not really know where it comes from, but it typically happens every 4-5 months or so. It's not something that admitting is easy nor do you want to do it. It's rather frustrating because you can see all the progress you've made, but when you realize that there is still work to be done it can almost take the wind out of your sails. The reality is that as my relationship with God grows that I must continue to rely on him than my own ability.

Wow.... that's awake up call if I've ever had one I guess lol! Regardless though of what still needs to be worked that doesn't change where I am at and what God continues to do in my life. How he continues to do what needs to be done in my life. My God is a live and very much real!  Hope you enjoy reading this because it's been difficult to type! Take care and God Bless!

© Nathan Fahlin

P.T.S.D. and Veterans

Well this has been an interesting year so far that's for sure and it continues to get interesting. As of right now next week I'm heading out to New York to participate in an animal therapy program that uses horses. It's an all expenses paid trip so I'm super excited to be going and for the change of pace which will be good for me.

Back to the topic at hand and the depth of what I want to share with all of you the truth that is happening in the military community with these veterans who struggle with P.T.S.D. For many military veterans dealing with P.TS.D. it's a challenge dealing with all the struggles that come with it because in reality a veteran can who has severe P.T.S.D. cannot remember what they did. They just react to situations as their fight or flight mode kicks and this is all based on their training which can be scary for them and others around them. Recently I learned of a veteran who had a similar situation where he just reacted and as it was he "blacked out" with only remembering coming home. This is the severe side of it and when you get down to it P.T.S.D. is all based out of fear. The fear of being transported back to their experiences, nightmares where they relive what happened in combat, severe anxiety being around a large number of people because their training tells them do not trust them, and so on. There is so much that people do not understand about P.T.S.D. because they do not educate themselves or they listen to mass media which is straight trash when talking about veterans and P.T.S.D.

As a veteran who struggles with P.T.S.D. I can tell you that where I was three years ago and where I am now is a very different place. Yes, I still have my quirks about what I do and how I handle certain situations. No, I'm not going to share them with all of you lol, they are what I use to handle specific situations when they arise or add a certain level of comfort. They are only a few who know my quirks that because it's not that I'm not willing to share them with others, but is there a need for people to know. It's difficult because you don't want to spill all your secrets on how you get through tough situations and each time I'm out of my element it's an opportunity to learn and grow. It many ways it's like being a christian and I say that because for a christian to grow they must be out of their element, but not all the time. If I'm never out of element as a veteran then I'll never learn or adapt to skills which I need to know on how to handle certain situations.

Here's a good example of what I'm trying to convey. This past summer I became a member at a gun club where I'm able to go shooting whenever I want which is fantastic for me because I like to shoot a lot! So any way during one of my trips to the gun club there were a few people shooting military style rifles very similar to what I carried in my time the Army. That said these rifles produce a very unique smell, sound, and report when fired. It may sound crazy, but even smells can cause a veterans P.T.S.D. to flare up which was happened to me actually. I got all set up and proceeded to send rounds downrange and when they began to fire inside everything was telling me to get the heck out of there. Avoid the situation was what my senses were telling me, but I hung around for as long as I could without putting anyone at risk to a reaction. After a couple volleys from everyone their shooting their rifles I decided it was time to pack up. Now I can tell you that I've learned a new trigger for my P.T.S.D. and I grew in that experience because I challenged myself which caused me to adapt. I'm not telling any veteran to go run around trying to find new triggers because that could be very bad for them and people around them. What I am saying is that once a person is comfortable where they are at and how they are handling their P.T.S.D. to try new things. Maybe one new situation every 3-4 months so they can continue to grow in their understand of their P.S.T.D.

The only thing that really truly made the difference in my life is my relationship with Jesus Christ. I know I know I know some of you military guys will scoff at this saying, "How can Christianity help with what I went through in Combat ?!" The truth of the matter is it makes a huge difference because once you understand that when Jesus was crucified on the cross he endured everything that we would and will endure on this earth. Yes, war is hell and it sucks, but there is good that can come from it. What God is doing in my life is better then what has ever happened that I could of thought up. He's taken and taking all my experiences and using them for my good and using them to glorify His kingdom in heaven. I know it's hard to grasp, but its true take it from a guy who's been there, done that in terms of war. Whose lost, whose been wounded, and who's learning what it takes to operate in this world. Veterans you are not a lone, there are people out there who care about you, who want to help you, who will listen to rant and rave, who will hear your stories.

I'm going to leave you with this: John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. This piece of scripture talks about the trials that we will face in this world that we live in, but we who are believers are to have peace because Jesus has overcome the world therefore we need to put our hope not in man or worldly things, but in Jesus.

Hope you enjoyed reading this! Have a blessed night!

© Nathan Fahlin

Thankfulness!

Yes, I know this may seem a bit cheesy, but I think with "Black Friday" and all that crap that the consumer market put out that I would take some time out and talk plainly about what I'm thankful for. Just for the sake of this I despise "Black Friday" and what it has become. Americans trampling each other for items just because everyone is lashing prices. What a joke! It's sickening to hear about people on the new that are injured because of the "Black Friday" shoppers. End of rant!

Thankfulness is one of those terms that I think we need to remember and understand how much we truly have to be thankful. When you consider everything that is happening around the globe we who live in this land of the free that is protected by the brave have a lot to be thankful for. I for one am truly thankful for the past, present, and future generation of Americans who continually put their lives on the line for this country. Those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice I hold in the highest regard for human life because growing old is a privilege not all have. Some kids may grow up never knowing their father, mother, uncle, and or aunt because they gave their life protecting this country. I know the cost of war and serving one's country and yes I did take it for granted when I was younger. Now I can truly appreciate the sacrifices those who serve this country have paid in the past and present.

Thankful for the life that I've been giving because lets be honest here I should be dead. Not just once or twice, but three times and yet I'm here because God protected me during my time in Iraq. I truly believe this because of what I witnessed and experienced serving in Iraq. Every day is a gift from above because it's God who puts the breath in our lungs and allows us to wake up. Thankful that I get to see my family each day and I am allowed to watch my nephew grow up. Thankful for the new found friends that I have regardless of the age differences between us. Thankful for for the life that I am living and what I get to see in the beauty of creation each and every day.

Thankful for what God is doing in my life and what is still yet to come. It's been very interesting so far and I'm excited to see where the next leg of the journey will take me. Knowing that God is in control is exciting and yet nerve racking at times because lets face it we all wanna know exactly where he's taking and when we'll reach the destination. Thankful the body of believers that God has brought around me to help me grow, learn and love each other when we are going through tough times. Just when we think it can't get any worse, it does and that's where the love comes in. I know people have been there for me and I've been there for others.

So please remember that this day is about being Thankful for what you've been given, not what our consumer society says you need to have. We all really have a lot to be thankful and we need to remember the right perspective honestly. So I hope you all enjoy the turkey, pies of all flavors, and you know those mashed potatoes lol! Yeah buddy! Thankful for a soon to come YMCA membership lol! Be blessed friends!

© Nathan Fahlin

Who I am

I know this is a dangerous topic, but I think it's important that as a Christian knowing who we truly are and not just our physical identity, but our spiritual. Probably going to expose a lot of things in this post, but it needs to come out and so the blogging must go on! "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"
Philippians 3:13-14

I know for me a lot of the time I struggle with who I am and with that being said a week ago Sunday a buddy of mine and I had an in-depth conversation about this topic. He made some very good points in which the message that needed to be made clear to me was needless to say. During this entire conversation I would say God was very much present and evident with what was being said. My buddy who spoke to me told me some hard truths which revealed just a little bit more with what I had been wrestling with. At one point he made the comment that, You are a great guy. You have a wonderful heart. Let me people see Christ in you. The right woman will see that and adore that about you." Yeah yeah I know we were talking about marriage, but for a couple of single guys it seems to be a pretty common topic lol! Then it hit me... I had been looking at myself in the wrong perspective and what I have to offer. A lot of it goes back to my experiences from Iraq and a lot of what had been working with counseling.

The reality had hit and the truth was sinking in more and more the longer I thought about the conversation that we had had over the coming days. Very much a revelation for me with how God wants us to see ourselves and how looking at ourselves in the wrong light changes almost everything about us. It's like taking the smallest negative thing and putting it under the worlds strongest microscope. Putting it out there for the world to see and letting it become our identity for me this was the P.S.T.D. which I've dealt with since coming home from Iraq.

Understanding that I'm capable of a lot of different skills with potential that sometimes I have a hard time seeing, yet others continue to remark that they see it in me. They continue to push me and prove to me that I'm capable beyond what I think I am. It's not because I'm super smart or anything it's because of what I believe God has put in me. An example of this is that I thrive with challenges. I know it's funny, but it's just the way I've been. It's like where I excel lol call me crazy, but for the longest time that's what I remember when it comes to challenges.

Lastly don't forget who created you and who's children we are. For we are children of God, a saint, a holy one, have been redeemed and forgiven of all our sins because of what God has done for us. Because Jesus went to the cross so that we could become his righteousness and that we would know the Father who first loved us. The depth of his none of us can fathom, it covers us like a blanket when we think we are unlovable.

So trust God and trust in what He says who we are. Look to him and not to the world when you begin to wonder just what you are capable of. Chances are the world will not you that you can't do that and God will tell oh watch and see my child. Then you do it!

Well I'm heading out for a night of worshipping a living God! A God who saves! Be blessed!

© Nathan Fahlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO6UYDF2VNg

Perspective: Right and Wrong

So this is something that I've been wrestling with for some time and recently God has really put this on my heart as something that I need to change. At times it's been really frustrating and other times it's been really easy to see the perspective shift. What I would like to talk about today is how we need to keep the right perspective and how to pull ourselves out of the wrong perspective. Nothing is ever easy anymore and sometimes when we're at our weakest that's when we finally understand.

So this week there has been a couple times where I really needed to change my perspective and my attitude. Once was with my family and people asking me to help out in which I did, but I had a sour attitude about it and totally wrong perspective about it as well. So after doing what I had been asked to do I left, but didn't get very far because before I left I had texted a friend who told me exactly what I needed to hear. It wasn't easy going through this process. As the conversation continued it became very clearly that my perspective was totally wrong and that I needed help changing it. It was disgusting how bad my perspective had become and how my attitude was all about what "I" wanted.

The second time around happened when I was working out this week and my arches began to feel like they were tearing while I was running on the treadmill. About the 12 minute mark I had to quit because they hurt so bad. I finished my workout, but by the time I left school I was so frustrated that anything little could of set me off. I just spent a chunk of money on new shoes so I could get myself back into shape. After consulting with a few people who work in the PT clinic on campus the problem was revealed which is plantar fasciitis. Basically a tendon gets inflamed and causes swelling which means lots of stretching. Easy fix for a small problem, but what really helped me when this was all happening was writing down my thoughts because of what was going on. It was amazing how quickly my attitude began to change and how I became grateful for what I have.

So that pretty much highlighted the way to have the wrong perspective and how you can go about changing your attitude to help your perspective. The biggest thing to realize is that we are all different so we need to learn our own ways how to change our perspective. It won't be easy nor will it be fun I promise, but the next time you get asked to help out with something you'll see the attitude shift coming. Therefore allowing yourself to keep a healthy perspective with what you're being asked to do. Yes, I know it may not be something you like or want to do, but God's got a purpose with everything. Be grateful for what you have..... you all know there are places that are far worse then we are as a country. Be grateful! Be thankful! Be of good cheer!

Hope you got something out of this and I hope to hear from all the readers out there! Enjoy the day and be blessed! Take care!

© Nathan Fahlin

Questions and Attitudes

Sometimes I think we as Christians forget the importance of our attitudes and even asking the right questions when we're praying. I think it's so easy to forget that we need to ask with a pure heart and look deep into our own heart, searching our motives. Lately this is something that's been coming into my life more and more which God continues to use to teach me. Growing like this is not always fun, at times it can be a very painful experience.

Attitude is something that we all struggle with and I know that I do as I continue to type the noun "I" meaning me. That is another way that our attitude gets in the way, because we talk about "I want this" or "I would like to do this." So often the thought comes to me after the fact, "Did I think about what God would have to say this?" or "I wonder what God would have me do?" Truth is not as much as I should and there's that infamous noun again. I.

Looking into our hearts can be a very painful and dark moment because then we really see what's inside of our hearts. Realizing how much that needs to changed and we need to be filled with what God wants to fill us with. If we take an honest look in our hearts and ask God to reveal to us what He wants to remove then we are doing the right thing, but if we do not then we are wasting our time on this earth. Our time here is short when you truly begin to think about. Yes, I know that people have lived to be a hundred years old or more, but the reality our lives are but chaff blown away in the wind. At any moment our lives on this earth can end.
So when you begin to ask God for things or about certain things that you would like to see happen look at your attitude in your heart first. Trust that God knows what's best for He is our Father, the one who created us!

Questions are great and they help us discover more about God's nature, finding out what He wants for us, and His plan for us. Though He may only reveal bits and pieces here and there, it's critical! There are times when we ask question after question with God sitting in heaven just waiting for us to ask the right question. Please don't get the idea that God is some magical genie in a bottle that you can rub and have all your wishes come true. I think this comes with spiritual maturity along with knowing the word as well. For me as I continue to grow, seeking God in all aspects of my life questions have become key. It's really interesting watching God teach us through sometimes the smallest thing or it can be through the big things as well.
It can be very frustrating at times when all you get is silence.... then it's the awkward moment when you feel like you're talking to yourself lol! I know I've been there lol! Got the patch.... no not really, but it sounded good!

Don't be afraid to ask God questions about anything because I think you might surprise yourself when God starts answering your questions or in my case I get the picture of God sitting silently waiting for me to ask the right question with this big grin on his face waiting. So get out of your comfort zone and start asking God questions. You might be surprised I think lol!

© Nathan Fahlin

Forged Through Fire

This topic has been raging through my brain today since talking with a friend about this coming weekend and what this day means to me. It's very different and knowing what is going to happen and how people will react to you on Sunday because it's Veteran's Day hasn't been always easy. The appreciation hasn't been and is still very hard for me to accept some days. Yes, folks that's right I'm talking about Veteran's Day and why people appreciate Veterans themselves.

I had been talking to a friend for a good portion of time about this topic and asked what she thought about Veterans and how she views the people she knows who've served. Let's just take a moment and this about all the terminology that is associated with Veteran's Day and how people show they're gratitude. For a lot of people they say, "Thank you, Thanks for your service, Thanks, and other greeting." Today I realized that for doing what I did, during the duress of which the country was in at the time that my family and friends may call me a "Hero." Truth of the matter this is a word I have a very hard time with because I don't see how this word is associated with me. Understanding this means that looking deeply into why a person serves whether it's a moral conviction or just because they wanted too. Serving willingly and in the times that many of us Veterans served in which out country wasn't in the best shape. Still entering into the military knowing that we would be deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

I'm just amazed at how my friends look at me and how they are able to say something like and what reinforces this title even is how I act humble about what I did. I continually try to down play the fact of what I did while I was serving. It's just a duty that you have to do and yes there are hard times, but that's the life you choose. Do I consider myself a hero ? No, I don't. Do my friends and family absolutely. The point is here being a soldier, sailor, marine, and airmen and doing what your country asks you to do isn't always easy. Lots of time you go through fire so that you can be forged into something greater. You see fire refines, purifies, and removes any of the unnecessary items that shouldn't be there. You see those of us who've been to Iraq and other places which our country sends us to to defend freedom is like walking through fire.
So we are forged through fire and become what everyone seems to think is heroes.

This is a very different blog than most that I've done in a while, but it's a good change of pace. As always I hope you enjoyed reading and learned something new about your nations veterans who've fought for this country. Take care and God bless!

© Nathan Fahlin

Talent, What's Yours ?

So awhile back I talked about purpose and what purpose that I was pursuing. Just recently I've had the pleasure to meet some very cool people who through my church have been able to share how to handle money and finances. I guess that's why I'm sitting here typing away about this topic because they talked about this topic of talent and using the talent that we have been given.

Matthew 25:14-30 Talks about the talent that three men were given. The talent they talk about in this story is gold talents which back then were worth a lot. To give you an idea of what a gold talent is or was worth it is equal to roughly about $1,000 in todays world. So here are these three men who were given a specific amount of gold talents. The first man was given 5 gold talents, the second was given 2, and the third was given 1 by their master to match their ability. As the story goes the first two men when confronted by their master had doubled what they had been given for gold talents. He put both servants in charge of different positions thus giving them leadership over those. Then the master came to the third man, this man had hid the gold talents which is master had given him. When his master found out what he had done, he was appalled by the mans actions. The master took the gold talent which he had given the third man and gave it to the first man.

That's a lot to take in, but let me get to what I'm trying to convey through this blog post. Whether or not you believe in God, he's given each one of us specific gifts and abilities to use. It's our duty to use the abilities which have been given to us and use them correctly. This message hit me pretty hard earlier this week and felt compelled to blog about it and share with all of you what I think some people may need to hear, but in the case read lol ;-)! What my talent looks like is a variety of different skills and chances are you are the same. Not one position is going to allow all your different skills to come out. 

For me I help out with children's ministry on Sunday's at my church which I love doing because it allows me to interact with kids, encourage them, play with them, and sometimes teach or be taught by their actions or words. I love what I do and wouldn't give it up for anything. What I really love doing is working and interacting with other fellow veterans. Guys who've been where I've been and have done the hard things that our culture thinks you have to a superhuman to do. Men who've fought for their country and sacrificed so much for us to enjoy the freedoms that we have. I get to do this by interacting with them while I'm at school doing my work study program through the VA. Imagine that!, getting paid for what you love to do! 

So here's what I want to end this with. If you're tired and frustrating with what you're doing I would encourage you to take a moment and ask God is there is something else I should be doing. Pray first above all things. Don't do something silly and quit your full time job and drop out of school because of this post. You were given a brain so use it and use it wisely! If you're a college student and you're not sure what you're going to school for then I would suggest you talk to a counselor about taking an assessment test to figure out where your gifted and what your TALENTS are. Don't bury your talents, use what God has given you. I hope you find encouragement here and that you really begin to trust God with what His plan is for your life! Have a blessed day! 

© Nathan Fahlin

God's Timing & Will

Little did I know that I would be revisiting this topic in a month again, but here I am. As you guessed by the title you know what the blog is going to be about and this is something that's been going on in my life right now. Sometimes it's hard to know when God is talking to you about something specifically, but this is one of those moments where I knew with all my heart. It's refreshing and yet humbling at the same time to have God speak to you.

Well for a while now I really haven't had a direction or career path for school anymore and for the longest time I've prayed that I would do his will in my life. That I would walk out God's will for me in my life daily and well after a crazy summer and which turned into a crazy start to the semester. Well after a while I began to try and figure out what I should be going to school for. As the weeks progressed I began to truly wondering what I am going to do for career and the following weeks were frustrating at times. This slowly got me wondering if I was simply wasting away my time at school. I would journal, pray, and converse with others about what I should be doing for schooling. I will say this during those periods I wasn't sleeping for a darn and I would wake up at odd hours of the night. It sucked...... being up since 3:30am and knowing that my day wouldn't end till 7pm or 8pm that night made for a long day!

Well as the semester progressed more and more this became a real daily thought that I was putting too much time in and just this week God spoke. Saying what I needed to hear which was good, but at the same time very difficult to hear. I say difficult because knowing that there is nothing really for me left to say or do and I'm totally going argue with God on this topic. It's challenging and this is why faith is such an important part of the journey when it comes to walking with God and listening to what he says and when he says it. I know a lot of people struggle with this and I hope that this gives you some hope and peace knowing that God will direct you in the way which He wants you to go.The gist of what was, "My will and my timing for all things." "Am I not your provider ?! Have I not given you everything you have ?!" As a guy this is extremely difficult to hear because I like to know that there is a means to an end, a goal, or some objective. That's where the faith part kicks in!

Saying, " God I want to do your will in my life." and walking it out are two very different things altogether honestly. I have found this to be very true in my life and faith has been a big key to walking it out in my daily life. Honestly in order to do this you really have to surrender your heart to Him, trusting him that He will meet your every need according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Faith is not by sight, it's by trusting and believing that God will not lead you astray! He will never leave you nor forsake you! His word is his promises so when you read another promise that God has made I challenge you to take it at face value. Meaning you really believe that this is what he is saying!

I hope you enjoyed reading this post as I truly enjoyed writing it and being able to share with all of you who read my blog! May God continue His good work in you till completion or until Jesus Christ returns to bring us all home! May God bless you and keep you close to him!

© Nathan Fahlin

Once A Warrior, Always A Warrior

Here I am again sitting in front of my computer getting ready to talk about another topic for my blog and this kind of piggy backs some of my other posts and yet again I'm wrestling with talking about this topic. Knowing fully that I'm opening myself up here more and more. The title is from a book I'm reading and it's very powerful the effect it's having on my life.

I really don't know how to explain this to so many people who haven't been in the military, but the reality is as I read this book I've learned many areas of my life that I've been trained or conditioned to function in combat. So in essence this book talks about how to retrain your mind and your body so you understand how to function in a world where warriors aren't needed. The reality is the knowledge we needed in combat doesn't really transfer over into this world. I find it rather frustrating at times when I'm reading this book simply because there is much realization that is happening for me. This book continues to show me that it's not by my strength that I will change and move forward from here, but that it's by God's strength that I continue to change. To push forward when the times get tough and all you want to do is crawl under a rock to just hide from everyone else.

The books talks very openly about how soldiers; men and women who were trained to fight for their country go through retraining and conditioning on how to function in combat and under stress. It also talks about mTBI and PTSD how both play a part in reintegration with soldiers and society. These are topics that take some time getting used to talk about as a soldier and as a civilian as many people are interested to know what I did when I was in the military or if I have any lasting effects.

I do have last effects from my time in the military and from Iraq as well, but that doesn't bother so much. What bothers me is when people make assumptions about veterans who they don't have a clue about what they are going through. It's difficult to see all the combat skills come to light when you're in a society that doesn't understand the purpose of it's warriors who fight, bleed, burn, and die for there country. Yes, there is a lot of support for our troops right now which is great! I've had flashbacks, memories which are unpleasant, and other effects from my time, but that doesn't change what God is doing in my life.

Many veterans who are doing what they need to do to reintegrate into society are realizing that they may have the warrior mentality for the rest of their life which is true for many combat veterans. We learned a pretty unique skill set while training for combat and some of the skills will be with us for the rest of our lives and that's just the reality. Doesn't mean that we just let them run our lives, but that we do what we can to get a grasp of our combat skills. There maybe be times when our skills that we learned for combat may have some use in our world. I loved what I did when I was in the military and I would never change that nor the experiences which I've been through while in Iraq. I know it sounds crazy, but what is happening in my life right now tells me it's all worth it for what God is doing right now!

I will forever have that warrior mentality and I'm okay with that. I'm learning how to handle the training which was used to keep me alive in combat and how I can use it if necessary in this world which I live in now. I love my God, my country, my military experience, my church, my family, my friends, and my enemies. This is not easy to say especially the end talking about loving my enemies those who tried to take my life when I was in the military. They do not know what they  were doing and won't till it's to late for them.

Well this has been a work in progress and I must say that I enjoyed writing it and I hope that you enjoy reading it. Please and I mean please if you have been a long time reader or just recently started reading my blog I would encourage you to post or send me an email @ bigfah@gmail.com or if you're a facebook friend then post a comment on my page or a message. Whichever is comfortable for you! Thank you and God bless you!!

© Nathan Fahlin

First Steps

I've been putting this post off because I haven't wanted to write it, yet knowing fully that I need though. I guess there is no better time than now to do what needs to be done and yet I would very much not write this. Nonetheless here I sit typing away at the beginning of this entry. I've always enjoyed blogging, but the topics have been deep and at times very trying.

First steps is something I've always struggled with for as long as I can remember and I'm not sure exactly where it began to be a struggle. I just remember one experience specifically where the first steps were very hard for me. It was the first game of the season, I remember sitting in the living room dressed and ready for school. It was the first game of basketball and I had made the J.V. team at East High School....boy that was a great year for me in the sports realm and academically as well. I averaged my highest G.P.A. that year and continued to do well in sports. Getting back to that first game and the moments leading up to it was indescribable almost. The anxiety and nervousness was through the roof.... I could hardly eat all day until about 3 hours before game time. It sucked! Felt like my stomach was in a knot and I was fit to be tied because thanks to my emotions I began to fart like you wouldn't believe. 

Every since that year I've always struggled with taking the first steps into new areas and realms in my life. Just recently I volunteered at Life 97.3 for their fall fundraiser event and I remember the little bit of anxiety that I was feeling in my stomach, but I quickly brushed it aside so I could do what needed to be done. There have been other moments in my life where such feelings I felt and honestly I'm tired of them. Every time I go for an interview or try to talk to someone new, or do something new I deal with these emotions and it sucks. I'm tired and ready for these to end and be able to branch out more with meeting people, doing new things, and enjoying life more.

Gosh..... I feel like all I do on here sometimes is just spill my guts to y'all! I hope that you see more of me and see the work that God is doing in my life as you read my blog entries and if you aren't a believer yet you're reading my blog well here's something I want to share with you then! By now you know that I'm a christian and I believe that Jesus is Lord and he died for all of mankind. I know that Jesus covers your sins as He has and continues to cover mine daily, hourly and by the minute when I'm at my worst. I also know that regardless my God still loves me and he loves you too! I'm not gonna sit here and tell what you should be doing or what you need to because that is not my place. I'm not perfect  I screw up constantly and that's why  there is grace! Grace is a big part of the Christian faith walk, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon! If you would like to ask God into your life then I pray that you do! 

Wow... I hope someday that I will be able to change and not have to deal with all this junk of this world or from my past. Yes, I continue to move forward, mature emotionally, and grow in my walk with the Lord. I think one of the hardest first steps I've ever taken honestly or done is when there is a woman that I like and wanted to ask that person out it's just about been unbearable to a degree....ugh! After all I've been through and yet I still struggle with this. Well no more! Today I put these emotions to death! I do not want to deal with anxiety, the nervousness, the fear anymore! God replace these things which are not of you with Godly things and continue to mold me into the man which you want me to become! I trust you God with all that I am! For you will never leave me nor forsake me! May God bless you and watch over you!

© Nathan Fahlin

A Letter

I've debated about writing this for various reasons and so here I am at 2345 in front of my computer. Wishing I could sleep, but instead I find myself wide awake. So already by the first sentence you're already wondering, " What could he possibly debate about talking about after everything he's written?" Well it's a very touchy and personal subject for that matter and there's the possibility that my friends who are women could take it out of context also this is not aimed at anyone particular either. So I guess this would be my disclaimer lol! On to the actually post or whatever this will be.

To whom it may concern:

You may or may not know me yet and I may or may not know you yet either. I'm writing this letter because as someone who hopes he's married with a family someday I pray that God would see fit to bring you into my life. It's all up to God because he has to bring us together and I don't know if that will happen, but I pray that day does happen when I finally meet you face to face.

A couple things that you will find out about me right away, but not the first conversation type of topics. I'm a  combat veteran of Iraq and severed honorably in the Minnesota Army National Guard for nearly 7 years. During my single tour of duty in Iraq I left pieces of my life over there from the experiences I had. From the lose of a dear friend and fellow soldier to being wounded by an I.E.D. or more commonly known roadside bombs. These events have cause me a lot of emotional pain in my life, but God is doing a miracle in my life by healing me from the inside out. From these experiences stem what can be a multitude of issues which can overwhelm a person. I have struggled with P.S.T.D. (post traumatic stress disorder), mTBI (mild Traumatic brain injury) due to the concussion I suffered when I was injured. Yes, I've had flash backs where certain triggers have caused me to practically be teleported back to Iraq either by sights, sounds, or smells even.

Okay don't panic here.....yes that might be a lot to think about right a way, but what you need to know that God is working in my life. Lots of changes have already occurred and they continue to happen because we serve a God of healing, hope, and redemption. At times it maybe difficult to see that because let's be honest here there will be times when everything seems to be going wrong. Whether it's flashbacks or having an argument. I know life isn't always easy and can be very challenging, but when I think about those times I remember John 16:33 " In this world you will have many struggles, but take heart!; for I have overcome the world." There will be a lot of learning that happens when or if this day comes and honestly I'm doing my best to leave it in God's very capable hands. It's not always easy though.

Well with all that I've told you about who I am and where I've been I look forward to the day that I meet you. So I get to hear your stories and find out more about you! I hope and pray that we'll meet someday when we're both ready for each other. Gosh, never thought I would actually type this up and finish it. So here's to someday and lots of hope!

© Nathan Fahlin

Blindsided

As I was blindsided by this today so will most of you who read my blog when I share with you what I'm about to tell you. First off I would like to thank each one of you for taking the time to read my blog. You replies, thoughts, and comments are very much appreciated! Each one of you has had an impact upon me and for that I'm grateful. I thank God for each one of you and how much I've appreciated each one of you.

Well how do I tell you all what blindsided me today. I guess the best way is just to tell and here it goes. After everything that has happened this summer and in my life believe it or not I'm seriously contemplating re-enlisting back into the military. Yep! There. I said it. I know what most of you are thinking and I'm sure some of you are scratching your head or saying to yourself, "Why ? After all he's been through?" To be completely honest with all of you the military is something that has had a very profound impact upon my life. Not that I'm saying God or Jesus hasn't. This is just another piece of who I am as a person. Sure it's dangerous, but that's part of the job. It's like becoming a cop or fire fighter there are hazards to the job they do.

Yes, I realize I almost died and that I should be dead by any right after what I've been through. Think about it like this for a moment though. If this is where God is calling me to use what he's done in my life to minister secretly to others then as a Christ Follower it's my duty and obligation to go. From a young age I've been drawn to the military. There is much that still intrigues me about our branches and the military itself.

This is a decision that will not happen without lots prayer and thoughts going into it. I'm going to be blunt here and frankly not politically correct. If you refuse to respect this decision then honestly de-friend me. If you think that I'm throwing away what God has done then unfriend me. I don't need to deal with people who think it's not the right decision if or when I make it. I'm not going to apologize for making these statements either. Yes, I realize that God has done a lot in my life and has done a marvelous work, but he's not done yet meaning there is more to come.

© Nathan Fahlin

Maturity

Well as the days turn into weeks and weeks into months I'm at the point where I want some change. Tired of being in the same old position as I've been in the past. No I'm not doing anything radical, just trying to get myself in a healthy place. I know there has been a lot of growing for me recently, but as always there is more to be done and more to be had. I don't know why, but I'm actually looking forward to the change that will be coming. No, I'm not running a fever or going crazy I just don't want to repeat the same mistakes. I would rather change then continue living this way.

Maturity. What is it ? How do we know that we as people are mature ? How can you tell if you're mature ? It's taken many months and probably honestly years to realize how much left there is for me to mature and grow as not only a person, but as a christian as well. Maturity is where you can communicate clearly with other people whether it's friends, coworkers, or family. Understanding that when there is a conflict how to resolve the conflict properly. Communication is not one of my stronger points as a person and it's rather difficult sometimes when you realize that your point isn't making any sense or you're just going in circles. Boundaries are another part of maturity. Setting boundaries in any relationship is healthy and a good thing. Boundaries are good in friendships, relationships with coworkers, relationships in which people are dating or engaged, also in our families. This has come to me recently after lots of time spent pondering what things in my life need to be changed. Frankly I have a hard time setting boundaries and that goes back to two different things. One is my personalty and the other is I haven't set many boundaries before in my life. I am not trying to make an excuse for myself, I'm simply saying it is what it is. Over the coming weeks and possibly months there will be many different times where I know I'll be challenged to set boundaries with friends.

This last part is hard.... it's hard enough that I don't want to talk about it because frankly it's been frustrating for me to see this and then admit it. Yeah I'm delaying my rambling on and on about how much I don't want to talk about this. None the less it needs to come out and here it is. Until specific things happen in my life I will not be looking for relationships of the serious nature or dating either. There is a couple reasons why this is happening, but most importantly is the fact that I'm really not ready. That's the truth and I know I've mentioned it in another blog post it's just the truth. Also where I'm at with my life is not healthy to allow myself to build a healthy relationship with someone who I would possibly consider marrying. Living at home isn't bad, but for a single guy it's just not the right time nor place to start a relationship. I know some of you probably are shaking your heads so guess what, "I don't care what you think." We are all different and for this is part of the process. This is not easy, but it's the truth. I haven't really been fair to my friends of the opposite sex. It's something that I've struggled with inside of my mind and that's looking at my female friends as possible mates. TO ALL OF YOU I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. So here it is, "Forgive me and the truth is many if any of you did not know this was happening." Wow! Never thought I would type something like this....EVER! It's just been a part of my thought process for a long time and I'm working hard on changing it.

Why oh why do I feel like I exposed every nerve with this post ? It's like being an open book for everyone to see. I guess this is just part of being open and honest with others that you care about. I haven't decided if I like this post yet, but in reality it needed to come out. These topics needed to be talked about and that's the truth. I know it's not fun trust me I'm the guy writing this blog post and yeah this isn't my favorite thing to talk about. Oh just so y'all know Veteran's Day is on a Sunday this year, so don't expect anything special because I'll be off enjoying all the free food that day ;-)! Well another post done and man it's not exactly my favorite post that's sure.

Oh by the way I would like to hear back from everyone who reads my blog with feedback so please send an  email to: bigfah@gmail.com

© Nathan Fahlin

Maturity: Relationships

I've been thinking about a new blog post for a while and honestly this summer has been a little crazy so here I am sitting down at the computer and taking time to actually think about what I should blog about. This may seem a little odd or different, but I guess that's part of my personality.

The last couple days has made me think about maturity and all the different forms of maturity that there are in my perspective of how I look at things. A good example would be the comments that are made back and forth to my brother who knows me best and how we joke about different things. The reality is that there probably is some emotional maturing that needs to happen when it comes to how I joke with others or how I interact. I'm not afraid to admit that I still need to mature. I also know that in many other ways I'm very mature. Just this past week I ended a 3month relationship that took a lot out of me to actually end the relationship. It was struggle for me honestly and I didn't want do end it, but I knew in my heart that I needed too. I spent time praying and meditating on it for hours if not days, then the conviction came to me that things needed to end. So that's what I did, I ended the relationship and yeah it sucked. Period. End of report.

This relationship pushed me and challenged me in a lot of ways a Christian that I never a relationship would. I know there is a lot to learn from this relationship and how now I know. The reality for me lately has been that I'm a very loyal and faithful person so I'll jump head first without thinking. Therefore moving faster then what's healthy for me. Basically accelerating the pace of the relationship, but that's not the best nor the right thing to do. This will probably be one of the more challenging things that I will have to overcome. Now I'm not saying loyalty and faithfulness are not bad characteristics or traits, they just have to be used correctly. This is me owning up to my mistakes honestly and yeah it sucks, but it's the way it is. I also know that boundaries are a healthy part of relationships too. Yes, I said it boundaries are necessary for a Godly relationship to be healthy and also to stay pure for both person who are involved in the relationship.

 I could go on and on about what I've learned, but there is one more thing that I want to talk about which is near and dear to my heart. There is an acronym that takes on a different aspect in relationships which causes my thought process to be dark or causing self pity. P.T.S.D. (Post traumatic stress disorder) probably one of the biggest things that frustrates me. I say it frustrates me because in every aspect of my life this acronym causes different challenges or struggles for me. That's just part of who I am and yes it sucks at times. I had a bear of time watching the fire works this 4th of July. I could hardly sit still because I was constantly watching for the fire works that were being shot off behind me and the fact that I couldn't see them made it worse. I remember thinking and no I'm not going to be politically correct here, "When will this shit just stop?!" Honestly that was my biggest struggle was not letting the fireworks dictate what I was going to do for the rest of the evening. The fact also remains that P.T.S.D. can be and is a barrier in relationships because no matter how much I would like things to go smoothly that's not always the case. There were times where the P.T.S.D. would cause me to doubt the relationship or cause me not to trust the other person in this relationship that I was in. I would lie about things that I needed to do or where I wanted to go because I didn't know if I could go without the other person freaking out. It's very challenging and will continue to be a challenge for me.

Wow where did this all come from ?! Holy molly! I didn't think that there would be this much to talk about, but I guess there was! Well another blog down and another beautiful day thanks to our Lord who provides for us and keeps us in His Hand! May God Bless you!

© Nathan Fahlin

The Healing, The Hope, The Love, The Redpemtion

Okay so this hit me after coming home from the rifle range today. As I sat driving home the lyrics just washed over me and it hit me. The truth of the matter is that we all have "Beautiful Scars" and our job as Christ Followers is to allow Jesus to use those scars to minister to the needs and wounds of others. With that said I'm going to now direct this blog toward the crowd which I believe Jesus intends to use me for.

It's my guess that most veterans don't believe in God, but for me I do...... I 100% believe in God and that he can use anything that we've been through or experienced in our life for good. I spent a few years wondering and thinking why did I go through all of my experiences in Iraq ? Why did it have to happen at all ? Why did it happen to me ? I realize now those questions don't matter at all and what matters now is "How can I use my experiences to help others ?"

The reality is that many veterans who've been deployed have seen or done things that can cause issues for years to come. Myself was wounded by an I.E.D. and after my tour I crawled into a bottle for almost 6 months. The P.T.S.D. and T.B.I. aren't easy to deal with on your own...... they suck! I spend years thinking that I was okay, that I didn't need help, and then one day the realization struck me. I remember that day just as well as the day I was injured in Iraq.

There is hope, there is healing, there is love, and there is redemption from our experiences of war. I dare you to think there is not because what God has done in my life is proof that there is hope, there is healing, there is love, and there is redemption. War is ugly I get that and I can't imagine what some veterans are struggling with in terms of P.T.S.D. or T.B.I. and honestly this is the hand that is reaching back. I know some of you have been cursed out, thrown out, left for dead, and forgotten about. This veteran that is sitting here typing away this blog post wants to be there for those who are ready to be done with the pain, the memories, the nightmares.

I know that when some people read this they will probably not be happy with what I'm writing and so be it, but the truth is that there is hope and healing from the combat that we've experienced. The healing process has begun for all of us and now its our job to get well for those who need us. Our families, our friends, our significant others, and our spouses.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqH6dt0H0kc

© Nathan Fahlin

The Truth, The Reality, The Struggle

Well it's been quite the year for me and here I sit typing away for another blog post. The reality hit me the other day after I had been through a seminar that was put on by a couple from the church I attend. The truth resonated of the waters of Lake Superior as I spoke it.

For all the progress I've made this year and all the restoration that's happened I still struggle with letting the past be the past. The truth is that I would rather live a thousand lives as a soldier then one life as a civilian. The truth is I still would rather be back in the military then be in this life. I know what some of you are going to say and frankly now is not the time. I've been in the other life longer than I have been in this life. I realized that me wanting to be back in the military is rather selfish and let me explain why.

First off it's me going back into something that I want to do, not something that would benefit others. It would benefit to me and frankly I think a lot of people would have a hard time with it. Yeah yeah I know what some of you are going say, " You shouldn't care what others think." Which is true that I shouldn't care what others think of my decisions, but the bottom line is that I see this as a way for me to do what I've always wanted to do which was make a career of serving my country. As good as it sounds and it sounds amazing the truth is that I'm going back because I want to not because that where I should or where God wants me, but because I want to. Being a civilian sucks in my eyes................... all trash that you have deal with and the people are just well I won't go there.

Secondly if I were to head back into the military it would mean that I would pull away to a degree from all the friends that I've made since I've been back. My focus would shift away from interacting with people I care about and it would be on being the best soldier I could be. There is also an attitude shift that occurs when this happens which looks like me walking around constantly with a chip on my shoulder. Thinking that I'm better then the rest of these people out there. For a lot of my friends now you really haven't seen much of the other side of who I was if any at all.

Ugh I hate writing this stuff! It sucks! Yeah I miss the military and yes I do not enjoy being a civilian at all. This is probably one of those things that will take most of my life to readjust too! Crap I just realized what I wrote right there.I just wish this didn't have to be this way.

© Nathan Fahlin

Whew! What a semester!

Well I guess I should do a recap of the semester lol! Well let me tell you it's been filled with plenty of trials and struggles along the way, but I'm better off now that it's ended! I just checked a grade for a class that I'm not to fond of and I actually pulled a B in a writing class and I'm not an English person when it comes it.

It's been really interesting watching everything take place throughout the semester. Doing counseling sessions for P.T.S.D. through the local Vet Center and through a Christian Counselor which both made a world of difference in my life! Both have helped me to understand what triggers reactions and flashbacks. I would not discount either one honestly. Both have been absolutely amazingly in my life and I continue to make progress!

This is the first semester that I've honestly done better then semesters past honestly. I pulled two B's which is really exciting honestly for me. I've never been an academic person so this is huge progress that has been made! I mean a B in Composition II is ridiculous for me because I've struggled so much in the past.

Enough happy go lucky stuff lol! Time for the meat and potatoes bits about the semester! During the start of my Comp II class which was an accelerated class I had a flash back on the way home from work while being followed by a cop. Boy that was an interesting day let me tell you! I have never been home while a flashback has been happening........ugh! I had to email my instructor that night because I had homework due the next day for the class which was going to happen and I ended up asking for an extension.

I do not think that I have ever been so busy through a semester as I was for this one. If I wasn't working then it was school, or counseling, or hanging out with friends. I've learned a lot this previous semester and it was rather challenging. One thing is never take a accelerated class and an online class in the same semester! That sucked and I will never do that again! As a mater of fact I will never do an online class again! A lot of progress has been made and I'm better off getting through the semester.

I'm now going to enjoy the summer weather and work as little as I can lol! I'm going watch people that I care about and have come to appreciate get married this summer. Also get to shoot my guns! Because that's what I like to do! Well I hope all of you are enjoying the weather! Take care and God Bless!

© Nathan Fahlin

Blog 19: A Letter

Where do I begin ? I have a hard time with school because I feel that when I'm being forced to learn a specific way that I do not learn. School is always very challenging for me and yet I find some way to get through each semester.

What did I do right was choosing two very good teachers who have made a big difference for me as a student and how I interact with my instructors. They've taught me that advocating for yourself is something that I do well and I'm not afraid to ask questions.

I would not of done an online class and an accelerated class at the same time.

That I've completed college and I'm glad that I did it.

I hope that I'll forget nothing about my college experiences so I can pass it on to those who are going to college.

Nothing else follows.

Nathan

Blog 18: Peer Review

Doing peer reviews is something that I'm not really a fan of because I have a hard time going through someones papers because I am not a strong writer nor am I a fan English classes. I find myself wadding through them rather then enjoying them and learning anything from them I struggle.

Blog 17: Rough Draft

Writing what I have wrote so far has been very interesting for me honestly. To me this is a very personal topic because I've lived it more of it if not all of it. I hope that people learn something from my paper and that people would understand that they can't treat veterans the same as your typical college student.

To Book or not to Book

Okay here's the deal. For those of who you who read my blog as I've been sharing my blog with buddies. I've come to the conclusion that this might be worth putting into a book form.

If I did write a book, it would be focused on my experiences in Iraq and the military.

The whole reason I'm writing this because I shared a blog post with a fellow veteran and he said, " You should really write a book. Everything you write comes from the heart." There would be somethings that I would omit from blog to book as the relevance would have very little.

Well hope to hear some good comments, thoughts, and more from all of you.

Blog 16: Community Partner

Fellow veteran

In person

Not available

A fellow veteran

What were their experience in the military and what did they do

How many times have you deployed and what was your mission or role

What's the biggest challenge you have faced when returning to college

What do you think could be done to help veterans transition better from combat to college

Blog 15: Research

Well most of the articles that I read about my topic have pretty consistently highlighted the issues that veterans are facing when returning to school. The lack of help for veterans making the transition from combat to college is the reality that many veterans face every year. With the G.I. Bills that are currently in place there really isn't a reason why veterans shouldn't go back to college.

The only thing that I've had to shift for research is just the words and how I use them in the databases. Knowing what words to plug in to find the information that I'm looking for.

What's frustrated me so far ? Well honestly nothing about the paper has frustrated me so, it's been more the information that I have found that continues to show the lack of help for the veteran community when they make that transition from combat to college.

Blog 14: Topic Proposal

Helping veterans who are returning from deployment overseas so that they can be successful in college when they return. What can we do to make this transition easier for them when they return ? How can we help them by hosting a veteran's workshop ? 

Connecting this to campuses who have a high population of student veterans who've been deployed to in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. Getting the communities involved as well to help show the they have support.

I've met a plenty of veterans in my time and I do think something like this would allow a smoother transition back in the college realm especially for the younger veterans who maybe alone. Educating them on the resources that they have available to them as well would.

Blog 13: issues

Blog 11: Family Issues

The article talks about the reality of what it's like to have a parent or spouse come back from war and the effect they can have on their children if the parents has P.T.S.D. (post traumatic stress disorder). Military families have very different needs then what most people realize and how much more support they need simply because of what the spouses sacrifice by severing their country. This is the cold hard reality that many families face and their

 "Even though all families share in the common military experience, when times get hard and loved ones are away or adjusting to coming back home after a long deployment, the stress of being a military family can seem very lonely."


This talks about the common experience that all military families share, but it also shows how it can be very stressful for a parent who's coming back from a deployment.


This articles fits the topic of family issues because it shows how much a military family needs support when a parent or spouse comes back from war and how much of an issues it because of what needs of the family at that point.

Robinson, Alexandria. "Posttraumatic stress disorder and secondary traumatization in military families." The Exceptional Parent July 2011: 48+. Professional Collection. Web. 10 Apr. 2012.

Blog 10: Halfway

Well I have learned that when I'm writing papers that I have a tendency to write what I think and not actually use quotes, facts, and sources. I have learned how to do properly do MLA citation when doing work cited now which is something I struggled with before hand. I've learned how to properly transition from one paragraph to the next thus making it easy for the reader to follow. This is what I've learned so far.

Blog 9: Survey Says!

So I need 5 to 10 questions about topics we've discussed in class......okay I can do that.

1) What would you change about the Bill of Rights ?

2) Do you believe that the original Bill of Rights still applies to our modern society ?

3) What do you like about the Bill of Rights and what do you not like ?

4)  Do you believe that the Bill of Rights is outdated ? If yes, how so ?

5)  Is there anything you would add the constitution ?

6) Would you add anything to the Bill of Rights ?

Blog 8: Telling the Truth

Okay so being one of the two people who were questioned on whether or not I was telling the truth was rather interesting. I found that regardless of what questions were being ask that I could give an answer that would show the questioners an honest answer. This is not something I would participate in again as it's not something that I would like to be a part of.

Blog 7: Chpt 5

"Young people are always picking up habits that infuriate old geezers."

I think this can be a stereotype and it can also be true as well. A lot is changing in our world and therefore there is more habits to be picked up on and I can understand why old geezers think all the habits the young people are picking up infuriate them.

"Products like MP3 players are just more consumer goods for our materialistic society to obsess over."

Our society is big in materialistic items considering MP3s players. Everyone has to have the latest and the greatest. Keeping up with the Jones' is how I see it. Buying the newest thing and the newest toys.

Salinger, Tobias. "Unplugging Ads, Not Conversations." How to Write Anything [New York] 28 Jun 2006, 2009 131-133. Print.

Blog 6: Gun Owernship

This is a controversy topic with that some people believe gun ownership is something that shouldn't exist or be extremely limited. I'm the kind of guy who believes that as long as you don't have a felony or criminal charges pending against you that you should be able to own a firearm. I do not think that we need all the legislation that we currently have in place nor the agencies that make people anxious about owning a gun.

I believe with a simple course taught by well rounded professional instructor we can teach people how to safely and effectively own any type of firearm that said person(s) wants to own. Make the case that everyone should have a right to defend themselves and to enjoy some plinking along with the other shooting sports which can involve some pretty serious leagues if you do get into it.

Experiences Part 4

Man what a week this has been! Some days have been while others have been down right awful and yet life goes on while I'm trying to keep up. Well I think I know where this blog is headed because of recent events therefore I know I need to blog about it.

Well time to go back in time a few years lol more like five to be exact. I remember the events of that day just like every other major event that happened while I was in Iraq and that's just like yesterday. It doesn't take much for me to recall the sights, sounds, and quietness as well. Some may ask, " How can their be quietness in war?" Well hopefully I can show you through my writing what the quietness of war is like and how that plays out in my story.

So here's the setting: Its now late March 2007 and I'm on a small patrol base in southern Iraq and there's desert as far as the eye can see with a few roads around our base that we could see. That morning was just like any other morning in Iraq or so I thought. I remember sitting in our communication building just going about our normal business when the tower aka guy on the berm called in that there was an explosion out by an oil pipeline. I walked outside to spot what had happened, but before I could get on to the berm to see what had happened rockets started raining down all around our little patrol base. I remember what is was like having the first one land and explode, I never thought I could put my body armor on so fast. Within minutes the rockets were landing all around us, but not one hit within our base nor was any damage done. There was a lull in that time when everything seemed to just be still. It seemed like eternity honestly. There was probably 5 or 6 of us outside this bunker when the quietness hit or what is typically called a lull when it comes to combat. We waited and listened to see if we could hear anymore rockets that when 2 or 3 more came down.

 The whole event probably lasted only 10-20minutes and then it was all over. In the coming days we would soon learn just how big these rockets were and just how many were shot at us. We found pieces of shrapnel from these rockets and let me tell you if they'd hit anything we would have a major problem. In the following days we couldn't hardly sit still at the sound of a door being shut, we were all pretty jumpy honestly. I just remember the day when we got a new member who hadn't down much with his unit and that first day I was ready to knock him out. He was our cook and therefore was going through our freezers, tossing everything around which made me jump every couple of minutes. Finally I went over there and had a few choice words with him and that settled things down pretty good.

Well one more blog down and an untold more to go I guess. The sun has finally come through and we don't have anymore fog our nasty cloud cover which makes me very happy! This post hasn't been as hard as some of the others have been for me to write which is nice, but this still helps me to put things in perspective now that I'm home and still trying to figure out which direction I want to go with my life. Thank you for taking the time out to read my blog and as always Take care and God Bless!:)

© Nathan Fahlin

Blog 4 : Virtues

Humility is one of my better traits, but it has to be used in the right context therefore showing people that you are humble. Being humble is a good thing and can also be a bad thing as well. An example of what humility looks like for me and in my life when people give me praise for doing something good I simply take the complement and move on. The only words I utter are usually, "Thanks." or "Thank you", but the reality is I hold on to that complement for the future because it allows me to remember what I've done well with.

Tranquility is one that's been hard for me to understand and grasp. I do believe that has a lot to do with my personality honestly. I'm constantly working on changing that part because there are times when I get disturbed by something that shouldn't draw my focus and yet it does. I can think about days where something little just gets under my skin and there goes my day lol! It's a bit ridiculous honestly because too many days have been trashed by letting the little things get underneath my skin.

If I wanted to keep track of my virtues I'm sure I could, but it's not something that appeals to me simply because I'd rather not know and focus on what's ahead of my days where keeping track could possibly pull my focus off track for that day.

Blog 3: Naturalization and Constitution

After reading through bits of the Constitution I've decided to talk about the Second Amendment. Probably one of the most argued, fought over, and disliked Amendment because it talks about the Right to Keep and Bare Arms. Along with a well regulated Militia being necessary to the security of the free state.

People have tired for years if not decades to remove this amendment from the constitution which I don't believe that is something our founding fathers would agree with. I do believe that there is a place for this amendment and that it does still serve a purpose in our modern world. People can make arguments that guns kill people, but the reality of it that people always have and always will kill people. They will kill regardless of what tool they want to use to kill someone.

" I am an Infantryman"

INFANTRYMEN come in all shapes, shades, weights, sizes, states of sobriety, misery, and confusion. They are sly as a fox, have the nerve of a dope addict, the sincerity of a politician, and the subtly of Mt. Saint Helen. They are extremely irresistible, totally irrational and completely indestructible.

An Infantryman is a Soldier all his life even if only for a few years of that life. He is a magical creature. You can kick him out of your house but not out of your heart. You can take him off your mailing list but not off your mind. Soldiers are found everywhere... in love...in battle... in lust... in trouble...in debt...in bars and ... behind them. No one can write so seldom and yet think so much of you. No one else can get so much enjoyment out of a letter or clean clothes or a six pack.

An infantryman is a genius with a deck of cards. A millionaire without a cent and brave without a grain of sense. HE IS THE PROTECTOR OF AMERICA! When he wants something, it's usually 30 days leave, music that hurts the ears, a five dollar bill...or a woman he can count on.

Girls love them, mothers tolerate them, fathers brag about them,
the government pays them, the police watch out for them and somehow they all work together.

You can beat their bodies, but not their minds. You can tame their hearts, but not their souls.

He likes girls, chow, females,dip, women,alcohol, ladies, did I say alcohol?, and the opposite sex.

Infantrymen dislike small checks, working weekends, answering letters, waking up, maintaining a uniform, and the day before payday.

You may as well give in. An Infantryman is your long distance lover... they are your steely-eyed, warm-smiling, blank-minded, hyper-active, over-reacting, curious, passionate, talented, spontaneous, physically fit, good for nothing bundle of worry.....

And he will always be there for you, regardless of how long its been since you've last talked.

If you are an Infantryman or just support them, repost this!

© Nathan Fahlin

Blog 2: The Disappearing Act

"But they're there: The young men who are working in the lowest-level (and most dangerous) jobs instead of going to college. Who are sitting in prison instead of going to college. Who are staying out of the long term marriage pool because they have little to offer to young women. Who are remaining adolescents, wasting years of their lives playing video games for hours a day, until they're in their thirties, by which time the world has passed them by. pp 176"

I chose this topic because as a guy I can relate to what we as guys struggle with. I think society does a poor job as to show what being a man really is and to be honest I see very few qualities that are true traits of men. The video games, lack of attention in classrooms, and the fact that we don't learn the same as our counterparts makes this a daunting challenge for guys to overcome.

I know there's a lot of people saying that men still rule the world along with corporate America. That's fine and dandy, but what's being done to help improve the the curve for men ? Honestly I think part of what needs to be done is change how we teach our youth. No more of this take notes and listen to the teacher while they ramble on, yet the guys in the class could really give two hoots what the instructor is talking about. Get them engaged! ADD and ADHD are probably over diagnosed honestly, as a society we don't understand that men learn differently. The article constantly shows how men are falling away from higher education. What we have here is multiple failures as a society and a few them are: forcing guys to learn a specific way, learning disabilities being over diagnosed when it's just boys being boys, and single moms trying to raise a boy the correct way. These are things that need to be addressed and the only one that really can't be addressed by us as a nation is single parenting specifically single Moms parenting boys.

In my opinion I do believe we need to tailor learning to help the guys who are struggling in school because let's be honest here. If things keep going the direction they are it won't be good and guys will continue to decline in higher education levels. I think we as a society really need to stop putting a label on a kid for just being a boy. There are legitimate cases where boys do have ADD or ADHD then at that point the parents need to make the right choice to help their child so they can learn in class. I'm really not sure what to do about the video games honestly and I think there's other issues when they play for to long. I honestly believe people lose social skills when playing video games for hours on end.

"Disappearing Act: Where Have The Men Gone ? No Place Good." How to Write Anything. Comp. John J. Ruszkiewicz. 1st ed. Boston: Bedford/ St. Martin's, 2009. 175-180. Print.

Appreciation

Today is a special day and only a few people know why besides me, but that's not why I'm sitting here typing this post today. Today I want to recognize three young ladies who through their posts, comments, and general interaction with my blog continue to give me hope and courage to keep the blog running. It was for this very reason that I started the blog honestly as to hopefully let people see the inside of what it's like being a veteran in a society that focuses on me more then anything else.

They will remain unknown, but if they read this they will know who they are. Each one of them has demonstrated very unique characteristics that allow them to see parts of who I am along with the reality that is faced by many returning veterans. They have shown me a different side of America and our society, they give me hope for the future of this country which at the moment looks rather bleak. The truth is I wouldn't of ever saw this coming honestly, never in my life did I think I would have people grabbing on to this. Being truly genuine and honest when posting comments or even reading my blog that means a lot to me because to many people in this world don't take the time to do something small, but exceptionally meaningful.

Here's what I've wanted to say, but felt the need to explain the circumstances to everyone who's following my blog.

To whom it may concern:

From one of your nation's veterans who's been struggling with readjusting to society and to life back in this country we live I would like to extend a heart felt thank you to three amazingly awesome young ladies. Your comments, general interaction, and genuineness are very much appreciated by this guy. When I look at you three I see a hope to continue on blogging and sharing my experiences. There are no words to express how much this has meant to me honestly. The courage, the hope is what I need and you three have given that to me. You don't sugar coat anything, you're honest, and real all things which I greatly appreciate! I hope that all three of you take the time to read this. Take care and may God Bless you!

Sincerely,

Nathan Fahlin

© Nathan Fahlin